I can’t believe I’m the first one to add “Bummer of a birthmark Hal.”
There’s a sequel to that one, too, and it’s even better:
What we say to cats:
“Fluffy, how dare you knock over the fishbowl and eat the fish! Bad cat, Fluffy! Bad cat!”
What they hear:
“Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”
A bunch of flying saucers are descending on earth, all piloted by dogs. On the ground a pet dog looks up and says to his owner: “So, they’re finally here. Before I go, roll over and play dead”.
And of course the famous Thagomizer strip.
My all-time favorite.
And let’s not forget Strigiphilus garylarsoni, a biting louse found on owls.
In a cave, with fire all around, Satan sits by a record player, whistling, with New Age Music albums scattered about. A glass window in the wall reveals another room, with speakers obviously blaring the music, and a black man pressed up against the glass, in much distress.
‘Charlie Parker’s private Hell’
Dog Hell: A bunch of dogs in hell, some walking around carrying pooper scoopers and the rest dressed as mailmen and delivering the mail.
An ant on sentry duty at the top of the anthill spots an anteater approaching. “Alert! Alert! It’s the Sucking Death!”
Superman flying helplessly in circles around a lighthouse, like a moth.
A man about to enter an outhouse, outside of which a boy with a sousaphone is about to commence practicing.
A scientist peering into a microscope. A tiny speech ballon comes from the slide, crying out, “The eye! The eye!”
A waitress in a trashed up bar giving a statement to a police detective: “Well, first this funny looking little sailor pulls out a can of spinach. Then this crazy music starts playing and…well, just look at this place!”
Popeye is on the witness stand in court. The prosecutor says to him, “Do you deny this is your pipe, which was found at the murder scene? What kind of monster are you?” Popeye exclaims, “I yam what I yam!”
Why yes, I miss the Far Side. Can you tell?
One of my favorites doesn’t even need a description of the artwork. The caption is:
“Moses parting his hair”
He riffed on Hell & music quite a bit, didn’t he?
“Welcome to heaven, here’s your harp.”
“Welcome to hell, here’s your accordion.”
“Oh, we have a special room right here for you, maestro.”
[room is full of rank musical amateurs with inapt instruments.]
The Night of the Robin. [Earthworm horror movie with a huge robin beak penetrating an earthworm tunnel]
A crocodile on the witness stand, facing the prosecuting attorney.
“Of course I did it in cold blood, you idiot! I’m a reptile!”
The Crisis Center, on fire, floating down a river, twenty yards from a waterfall.
Two birds standing on the pushbar of a baby carriage.
“I don’t get it. I’ve been feeding this thing worms all morning, and it’s still hungry.”
Night of the Crash Test Dummies
the reanimated dummies are stuffing screaming guys in lab coats into the cars and running them down the course.
There’s one in his book that he never even attempted to publish involving a snake with a suspicious bulge that slithered into a crib but now can’t slither out. I’m must be evil, but I roll at that.
So many more
I intended to mention Great Moments in Evolution (the first one I ever saw) but somebody beat me to it. Here’s one: Cowboy playing poker with 4 prairie dogs. Caption, “Varmints! You’re all just a bunch a cheatin’ varmints!”
Other good ones include Washington Crossing the Street (crosswalk instead of boat on the Delaware); Water Buffalos (leaning against the office water cooler).
A bunch of scientists looking through a large window into a room with a huge mean looking robot. A janitor is walking in though a side door with a mop. Scientist: “Well, well. Looks like our test run got a bit more interesting.”
A bunch of cavemen are in obvious pain holding dead animals in a fire. One is looking over at a caveman wearing glasses who is sticking a lizard on a stick in another fire. “Hey, look what Zog do!”
A man is eating a handful of arrows. Another man is saying “Don’t eat those! Those are poison arrows!”
“Cavemen scientists describe the first dirt molecule”: Cavemen pointing at a chalkboard with molecular diagrams on it, “De” symbols, and labeled “DE=Dert”
“Laboratory Peer Pressure”: a bunch of weirdly mutated scientists offering a human looking one a test tube.
Before the invention of the wheel, the game of “barrow”; a bunch of cavemen holding other cavemen by the legs and plowing their face though the dirt.
A caveman who is gaping and shading his eyes is holding a crude bow; there’s “explosion lines” coming from off camera, and trees and animals are flying past. “The first cruise arrow is tested.”
A caveman is walking hand out towards a pterodactyl on a perch, at the urging of another saying “It OK! Me teach him sit on finger!” The caveman doing the talking has sticks for arms and legs, and an eye patch.
There’s a warlord type on a throne, and a soldier in front of him is presenting him with a winch. “No, bring me the wench you fool! The wench!”
Two warriors sitting at a table; one is holding a mace and cradling the head with his other hand. “You know, there’s just something about the feel of a good, solid mace in your hand that gives you the urge to smash something.” Walking in the door behind him is another warrior blowing a bubble.
A laboratory filled with dead cats strewn everywhere and a detective-looking guy with sidekick. “No; look at the laboratory equipment, the scribbled equations - curiosity killed these cats.”
Another one of God’s kitchen comics. The earth is out of the oven and he’s got a big shaker of something. A thought bubble says “and just to make things interesting…” and the shaker is labeled Jerks.
Embedded in styrofoam shoes, Carl is sent to sleep with the Humans
&
Turning rogue in his later years, Dumbo terrorised world airlines
As I read down through here I would come across one that had made me laugh and think: oh yeah! that’s my favorite.
But then I’d keep reading and find another … and another. Larson was one of the greatest.
“Remeber me, Mr. Schneider? Kenya 1947. If you’re going to shoot an elephant, Mr. Schneider, you’d better be prepared to finish the job.”
[said by an elephant in a trenchcoat from under the shadows of a staircase where Mr. Schneider (apparently) is emptying his mailbox]
Our mantra in grad school: “Damn the electric fence, Damn the electric fence”
(From Cow Poetry)
The first thread that I started which got more than 100 replies was Favorite “Far Side” Memories (MAD, too)
Cafe Society
06-20-2003, 12:40 PM
Zeldar
and it ran until
#112 07-06-2003, 12:01 PM
danceswithcats
4,325 views and 111 replies
There may be some good ones there than haven’t been mentioned here.