A great segue to one of my favorites: “Early Microscopes” - a caveman is sitting atop a large, curved tower looking through a thick, hollowed-out log at a mammoth beneath, and declares, “It’s a mammoth.”
From “The PreHistory of the Far Side” comes this cartoon, which was published in Gary Larson’s prior strip: Doctor Frankenstein, monster at his side, is looking out from the door of his castle at Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion, and says, “Sorry, I just used up my last heart and brain - maybe try the wizard up the road.”
Scene: a fishbowl. Two fish are belly-up; two fish at the bottom, in a living room set. Female fish: “Well, the Hendersons are dead. You had to go and offer them second helpings.”
Scene: a crowded bar. At a table are 3 women (beehive hairdos, harlequin glasses) and a 4th female warthog. The bar is full of men with their backs to the table, but a male warthog at the end of the bar is eyeing the table over his shoulder. Caption: “oooh, Edna, somebody’s checking you out!”
Scene: Cocktail party of warthogs (walking upright, wearing clothes). Male at center has a smug expression. One female in background snarks to another, “Well, if it isn’t God’s gift to warthogs!”
Gorilla husband comes home to his wife, who berrates him: “And where have you been? Conducting a little more “research” with that Goodall tramp again?”
Two wolves sit in a ditch peering over the berm at a flock of sheep. One of the sheep is exceptionally plump and a bit away from the other. One wolf looks at the other and says “Dibs”.
Wolf Nerds: a pair of wolves are trying to creep undetected towards a herd, when suddenly a dorky looking wolf strolls up and loudly proclaims “Hi Guys! Hey, what’s going on?” - alterting the herd to danger.
I can’t stop laughing over this one! It’s not just the description of the action, which is well done for sure, but the notion of
that has me shaking as I type.
Picture this:
Teacher: Johnny, can you draw a wolf?
Johnny: Sure, Teacher!
Teacher: Can you draw a dorky looking one?
Johnny: I’ll try. What’s a telltale sign of a dorky-looking wolf?
My favorite:
Caption: “There is a place in Mayfield Kansas where the sun does not shine”
Scene: makeshift info booth next to large black spot on the ground
The Larson Kid stands next to the spot holding a TV asking “is this where I’m supposed to stick this ?”
For whatever reason, I have put this first one up on the fridge of every place I’ve lived since I graduated college. It’s jus tone of those things…
Kid running, in a panic, around a kitchen table. Caption: Lupo-slips-aphobia: the fear of being chased in socks by timberwolves around a kitchen table on a freshly waxed floor.
Party. Crowd. Completely dorky and porrly drawn man on one side, woman on the other. Caption: Then, from across the room, ther eyes met…
Caveman see a duck fly overhead. Next few panels have him waving his arms furiously, to no avail. Next show him building something. Last panel shows the duck, dead, with an arrow stuck in it and the caveman walking away whistling.
A tree with two monkeys hanging from a branch over a lake, and one tail hanging next to them. Below, in the water, you see a croc getting ready to boost another croc up and out of the water. Caption: One, two…
Panel 1: Woman saying pointing at a glass on a table and saying, “The glass is half full!”
Panel 2: Man pointing and saying, “The glass is half empty.”
Panel 3: Man saying, “It’s half full…No, half empty…No, half…What was the question?”
Panel 4: Man shouting, “Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!”
A puffy-cheeked Larson Kid, has rummaged behind the sofa cushions and pulled out a round-bodied, many-armed, unidentifiable gizmo. The caption: “Herman finds his purpose.”
There is an orchestra. To the side of the orchestra, the man on cymbals has a though balloon: "I won’t screw up again, I won’t screw up again, . . . "
The caption is, Roger Screws Up. When you look back, you notice that Roger is only holding one cymbal.
We see an orchestra. There is an OMG look on the conductor’s face. One of the musicians, looking at his sheet music, says, “Gee! Look at all the little black dots!”
We see the orchestra and the conductor’s back. The sheet on the conductor’s music stand says only, “Wave the stick until the music stops, then turn around and bow.”
Scene: a typical living room with couple on a couch, dog on the floor, bird in a cage - all looking stunned. It’s dark outside and through the window we see headlights.
Caption: “Suddenly the living room was flooded with light and the angry sounds of an engine being revved. And everyone knew - the cat was back.”
A guy is showing slides on a home movie projector. On the screen is a picture of a woman with her arm around the Devil Well, now, this is from last summer when Hellen and I went to Hell and back.
In the middle of the ocean we see a sinking ship surrounded by sharks, bodies and wooden crates. On the side of the ship is “Acme Mannequin Co.”
A shark is gnawing on a leg, another has just spit out an arm. What is this? Some kind of Cruel hoax?!
That one was famously the cause of a silly little mini-controversy, I read - an organization dedicated to furthering Goodall’s work preserving and studying Gorillas took ‘official offense’, until Goodall herself chimed in and said that she thought it was funny.
It’s funny reading these, and interesting how your brain draws up the picture right away from the descriptions.
A couple not mentioned yet:
“What really killed the dinosaurs” – T.Rex and others standing around puffing on cigarettes.
There is one where a squirrel is sitting at the breakfast table reading the “squirrel news” – “Local squirrel falls out of tree”, “Do you have enough nuts for winter?” and other relevant squirrel info.
