So I’ve been seeing a psychologist lately who has told me that I am an alcoholic and there’s no way around it. She illustrated to me a line where social use is seperated from alcoholic use and because it’s a “disease”, there’s nothing I can do to help it.
I’ve also been attending some AA meetings where most people are of the same opinion.
I’m having a difficult time coming to grips with this. I’m a strong-willed person, but, I do have a hard time handling my alcohol. And yes, I am going to see these people because I recently got into trouble, but thats besides the point.
AA works for a lot of people and has been around for a relatively long time. So, I’m sure there’s some truth to this. However, I’m skeptical that I am an alcoholic. I really don’t crave drinks daily, and usually only partake on the weekends.
I’d just like to hear some opinions for and against this relatively conventional view of alcoholism.
I would trust the opinion of those who have lived with it and are managing to do so sober. The active AA people.
If you’re trying to convince yourself you don’t have a problem, you will manage to do so. That won’t change the truth one bit.
These type questions always make me wonder: If it’s been a problem for you, why do you even want to pick it up again? Just don’t. You don’t need it for a thing in the world. Just.Don’t.Drink. Simple.
Yes, it’s been a problem. But it’s also been a good thing. I’ve had many good times while drinking. It’s pretty difficult to quit when everyone you know drinks and it’s something you’re accustomed too.
Alcoholism is not a disease, it’s a character flaw. Diseases are not bottled and sold for profit. Nobody ever ran down to the corner store for a six pack of smallpox. A person either has the ability to control their use of intoxicants, or they do not. If you lack that ability, you’re an alcoholic, and shouldn’t drink.
It’s not so much how often you drink or whether or not you “crave” a drink. When you do drink, you drink to the point where it causes problems in your life. I think many of the AA members probably recognize themselves in you.
I mean, that’s it in a nutshell. However, I feel it has more to do with my inner feelings than alcohol itself. Alcohol, to me is an amplifier. Whatever I’m feeling before I drink, alcohol is going to amplify it. So my problem is not so much the alcohol, but more anger. In other words, if I could fix my emotional problems, then when I drink shouldn’t I just be happier and more carefree?
Long version - Lots of people have had a binge-drinking episode where they vomit and pass out or make bad decisions about sexual partners, who aren’t alcoholics. Also, lots of people have a drink or two EVERY DAY who aren’t alcoholics. The only sure way to know whether you’re an alcoholic is to see whether alcohol is screwing up your life. Are you having trouble holding a job because of it? Getting arrested for drunk driving? Relationship troubles? Drinking to escape problems? If so, you’re an alcoholic.
I’m of two minds on this. I’ve had a long, long history with alcohol. On one hand, I’ve had success in the past with quitting for longs period of time when I was younger. As I get older I’m noticing I don’t have a handle on it as much as would wish. I’m in the process of trying to stop completely. And failing miserably. I’m starting to come around to the fact that I might not built for sober.
I’m going to AA meetings but honestly it’s not really for me. Too much God/higher power bullshit. For what it’s worth this site was more helpful to me.
I don’t think I’d say that. The people at the ones I’ve been to seem to get a lot out of it. It’s a social support group for people who are trying to quit drinking.
Not if it happens only once. If it happens a second time, then I think there’s cause for concern. Courts in my state will typically order an alcohol assessment and some form of counseling as part of the sentence for a DUI 2.
Alcoholism isn’t bottled and sold for a profit, either. And the only reason that diseases aren’t bottled and sold for a profit is because unpleasant and heavily armed people in uniforms would show up if you tried it.
Alcoholism is an apparently innate weakness, and one we can’t fix as of yet; calling it a “character flaw” just makes matters worse by turning it into something to deny in yourself and a reason to sneer at other people instead of a problem to work around.
AA however as far as I can tell is mostly a scam designed to push religion at the expense of people with addiction problems.
While I don’t agree with “once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” or “if you’re an alcoholic you must never touch alcohol again,” a couple of thoughts come to mind upon reading your posts:
You sound like an alcoholic trying to rationalize the behavior as something else.
The benefits you describe for alcohol (enhancing your feelings, something you’re habituated to) are frankly pretty weak arguments for continuing to drink. Plenty of people experience feelings and a social life without alcohol.
What I know about AA is second-hand, but it sounds like their subculture is just like vegetarians or any other group focused on mental or physical health: a lot of experience, some sound advice, and a decent admixture of hooey. I say go with it, but keep lines of communication to the outside (your doctor?) open to help keep perspective.
Well, that and no one would buy a disease, unless you’re talking about terrorists seeking biological weapons, and that’s a whole different conversation.
What is the difference between “apparently innate weakness” and “character flaw”? Other than word choice, the concept seems to be the same.
In my experience, AA works for some people, but not for others. The single most important factor is that the person has to commit to sobriety. If they haven’t done that, no flavor of treatment will help them. If they do that, a variety of programs can work.
I wouldn’t call alcoholism a disease <though I know there are genetic markers that show the dice are definitely stacked against some people> as much as a weakness. I won’t say EVERYONE has their weakness, just that a weakness for one thing doesn’t prove a weakness for ANYthing else.
For some it’s booze, for another it’s one, and only one, brand/type of cigarettes. I guess I’m a smoke-a-holic? (ETA: I know I am. The whole ‘one is too many, 3 isn’t enough’ fits my smoking habit to a t. I’m quitting on my birthday…cause it’s on Thanksgiving and I can quit cold turkey )
Anytime something…or someone…has more control over the ‘relationship’ than you do…if you can’t say ‘no’, or WONT say no, to something/someone that is unhealthy for you…then it’s a problem. And regardless of what other people might call it, whether it’s alcoholism or addictive personality or idiotizm, only you can decide whether to say no. But it doesn’t hurt to recognize that if you’re the only one whose opinion you really trust who is saying ‘Nah, I’m fine’, then you might want to listen.
Well, they might seem pretty weak to you. But for me, on weekend nights, I have one of two choices: sit at home and do nothing. Or go out with some friends, have a good time, and hopefully meet a nice girl. Now which one sounds more appealing? Hmmm???
well, do you NEED the alcohol to have a good time? I don’t mean to magnifiy or make better the good times, I mean just to have a good time. BTW alcohol makes it better, thats a classic addiction justification
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