Today I learned that a person who was very special to me passed away from breast cancer. Her name was Ruth. Next to my parents she probably was the most influential person in my life. She helped to shape my attitudes and how I deal with people. I would like to take some time to tell you about her.
I first met her about 16 years ago when I was still trying to determine how to spend my life. I got hired to do some statistical work for the local branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association. There I met Ruth, and it soon became apparent that she was one of the nicest, non-judgmental people I’ve ever met. She was loved by everybody she worked with because she dealt with them as people not as a disease or a bunch of symptoms. She was able to deal with some of the most stigmatized people in our society and made them feel special and helped them to cope. She was the kind of person who would take someone in at 3 in the morning and let them stay with her. Thanks to her attitude and her outlook on life I learned to appreciate that people are people, despite the labels that society may hang on us. Thanks to her leadership I learned how to look past surface appearances and see the people inside. I know I formed strong friendships with people that I would have otherwise ignored because of her example.
When I was trying to figure out what to do with my life I talked to Ruth and she helped me to realize that the path I was contemplating was the right path for me. I wanted to help people in the same way she helped me and others. I know that I am a much better, kinder gentler person because she entered into my life.
I wasn’t the only person she helped. She helped many people through her work, but the two most important people she helped were her two adopted children. She helped both of them grow up to become good people. Her daughter decided to enter social work so that she could do what her mom did without training.
Ruth found out several months ago that she had breast cancer and that it had metastasized through out her body. She faced the inevitable with grace, she wouldn’t admit that she was suffering. I know that I speak for lots of people who knew her, that our lives had been changed for the better because of her presence in our lives. I hope that I can continue to honour her life by being a good, helping person and to never judge someone by appearance. If you have read this far and you can sense what she meant to me I urge you to make sure that you treat everybody with respect and listen to what they can contribute to your life no matter what they do. I also urge you to hug the women in your life and tell them to make sure that they undergo screening for breast cancer. I know that she isn’t the only light that was taken away too soon by this horrible disease and sadly I know she won’t be the last.
So here’s to you Ruth. Thank you for all you have meant to me and others. Godspeed. I know that things are better where you are simply because you are there.
She sounds like one of those especially special people that grace one’s life all too rarely.
Sorrowfully,
Tisiphone
BTW - cases of croup and other manifestations of Real Life™ have interrupted my quest for answers to my initiation rite. Rest assured I have not forgotten.
A couple hours after I posted here, my stepmother came over. A family friend, someone I have known since I was six years old, died unexpectedly in his sleep last night. I’m still assimilating this.
At least he got to play his new Martin first - he picked it up yesterday.
I’m off for a hot bubble bath and a cider, and I’ll cry for both of us.
Odie, I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad to see you looking on the good things she did in her life. If only there were more people like you who could focus on the positive.
Once again. I’m sorry man. Her family and yourself have my prayers.
I am so sorry. I know what it feels like to lose someone you love, respect and admire. She touched your life in all of the best ways, and you will always have those memories of this caring and wise woman.
I care about you too, and I want you to know that YOU are one of the same kind of people she was. You are a giving and loving man, and have helped me more than you know during the past few difficult weeks of my life.
I know that Ruth was, and is, proud of the man you are.
This is not something that you can assimilate easily. Please allow yourself to grieve, and do it in your own way. No one experiences grief in quite the same way as anyone else, and well meaning and sincere people will tell you what you need to do to get through this. Just say thank you, because they are trying to help, and continue to do what YOU need to do for yourself.
tisiphone I am also sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I know how hard it can be right now. but you are finding out one of my favorite things about the SDMB, and that is that people do care. I hope you are able to accept the support you are being given and that you too will keep your friends memory alive. {{{tisiphone}}}
I would also like to thank everybody for their kind words and actions here. I am glad you took the time to read and appreciate what I’ve said here. I will make it through because of your support.
{{{everybody who read and responded to this thread}}}
Many Thanks:
Keith
I don’t think truer words could have been spoken than you did in the OP. Ruth was obviously a truely exceptional person and I am glad that you are the man you are today because of her; kind, honest, a great friend and listener.
It is really amazing when someone can touch lives the way she did yours, and the way you have mine. hang in there!
