One of my sillier patients

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

Oooh, our warden would have had those officers’ guts for garters, picunurse! Thanks for sharing!

[AskNott]

So, did the cellie get some fresh albuterol?

[Doomtrain]

Well, he probably won’t get any better. This proves it! He reminds me of this guy:

In 1995, McArthur Wheeler walked into two Pittsburgh banks and robbed them in broad daylight, with no visible attempt at disguise. He was arrested later that night, less than an hour after videotapes of him taken from surveillance cameras were broadcast on the 11 o’clock news. When police later showed him the surveillance tapes, Mr. Wheeler stared in incredulity. “But I wore the juice,” he mumbled. Apparently, Mr. Wheeler was under the impression that rubbing one’s face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to videotape cameras

[Atreyu]

The bit about the to-do list is absolutely priceless. Hard to believe that anyone would be dumb enough to write down something like that.

Seriously, QtM…you should write a book someday about your experiences there.

[ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks]

Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments **

Oh my, what if that’s about me? How would I know it.

Classic story. What a job you have!

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

GMR I LOVE your link!!!

[Doomtrain]

QtM-Thanks. One of the best journal articles ever!

[sleeping]

*Originally posted by GMRyujin *
Well, he probably won’t get any better. This proves it! He reminds me of this guy:

Reminds me of that Daily Show segment–“Could Some People be Dumb and Too Stupid to Know It?”

[KidCharlemagne]

Please tell me you’re oversimplifying the to do list for comic effect.

If not, check his cell for this one:

1. Don’t use to do lists to plan escapes.
2. Plan escape.

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

kid, he did leave notes in his cell which spelled out his plan. Did it have a nice “things to do today” heading on it? I doubt it. Nor did it have numbered items. But this guy did write down his plans.

[KidCharlemagne]

Too funny. So was he just a few puffs away from a Darwin Award?

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

*Originally posted by KidCharlemagne *
**Too funny. So was he just a few puffs away from a Darwin Award? **

Nah. It’s hard to kill yourself with an albuterol inhaler if you’re young and healthy. Sort of like trying to commit suicide by using a week’s worth of nicotine patches and two pots of coffee. A friend of mine had a patient who tried that.

In each situation, you just get very, very, very anxious.

[KidCharlemagne]

*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan *
**Sort of like trying to commit suicide by using a week’s worth of nicotine patches and two pots of coffee. **

I guess one man’s attempted suicide is another man’s morning constitutional. <cough>

[Lynn_Bodoni]

Our knowlegeable PM nurse finds that while the patient’s eyeballs are spinning in their sockets, and his tongue is actually vibrating while his heart beats at a rate of 150 a minute, there’s really nothing critically wrong with him. She confers with the on-call physician who agrees #6 doesn’t really need a trip to the ER for this particular overdose. Time will suffice. Orders to have our nurse check on the patient and his vital signs every 2 hours are given. PM nurse complies, and every two hours, checks the patient. This gives her an opportunity to share with #6 her opinion of his physical status, intellect, character defects, and moral standing in both the world at large and in the prison’s hierarchy. #6 declares his urgent need for medicine to help him sleep and relieve his headache. He gets tylenol. He also gets information from the RN on the moral virtues of suffering one’s own consequences.

Tell your PM nurse that I adore her from afar and think that the world needs more people like her.

[Enola_Straight]

Not to ruin the mood of the thread, but…

Taking into consideration the patients are convicted prisoners and you anonymized their identities, is it unethical to violate Doctor/Patient Confidentiality in posting this thread?

[Gorgon_Heap]

That topic has been brought up before in Qadgop’s threads, though I don’t recall what the verdict was.

All in all, he is exceptionally good at maintaining a sense of mystique on where he his, what prison he works at and who he’s referring to.

[plnnr]

"“Good morning, Mr. #6”, I say jovially. “How are you?” "

Ah, so you were on “The Prisoner” as well…I always hated that show.

[Ferret_Herder]

Considering that there is no obvious PHI (Protected Health Information) included in the OP, and that physicians often consult with others on cases, exchange anecdotes, and even write books discussing their patients, I personally don’t see any violation of privacy going on here, though others more knowledgeable may be along shortly to correct my understanding. (IANAD or Nurse, though I do work in a medical center. I do handle Protected Health Information and treat it with extreme care, however I do not see any obvious issues with sharing an anecdote if the information can’t be traced back to the patient in question.)

[Ferret_Herder]

Oh, and after all that, I forgot to add how much I loved the story!

[Ponder_Stibbons]

Apparently, Mr. Wheeler was under the impression that rubbing one’s face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to videotape cameras.

Well, at least he was lemony-fresh!