Oh, Eve - that joke is so bad (and obscure) that it is MAGNIFICENT. 
And for my contribution to the list:
Cthulu loves the little children,
All the little children of the world,
Whether boiled, baked or fried,
With some cole slaw on the side,
Cthulu loves the little children of the world.
My baby has a bouncy chair that plays music and whenever this one comes on, I sing those lyrics to myself (in my head, of course). It feels wrong, but I can’t help it.
And Phoebe from Friends ruined “Tiny Dancer” for me.
Hold me closer Tony Danza
I know someone downthread has probably posted this, since it’s a common one. I’ll read the rest of the thread now.
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Yup. It’s been mentioned.
[Tim Gunn]Carry on![T.G.]
Makes me remember:
*
Sunshine, on my shoulders makes me sunburned
Sunshine, in my eyes will make be blind…*
Thanks to Wierd Al:
Suitcase pokin’ me in the ribs,
There’s an ellbow in my ear
Smelly old bum standin’t next to me
hasn’t showered in a year
Another one rides the bus!
Another one rides the bus!
And I can’t believe no doper has yet mentioned This Tom Leher classic (flash media audio)
I did a “music memory” competition in elementary school in which we competed to see who could identify the largest number of classical songs. I will never go to a wedding without singing to myself:
“This is the Hornpipe
From Water Music
by George Fredrick Handel
Drip drip drip drop it goes
Drip drip drip drop it goes …” et c.
There is a brand new song from Jessica Simpson (?) that I heard as:
“And the camels come out for anothe buffet…”
Ever since I watched Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, my preferred version of “Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom-Dee-Ay” is:
Oh, and I’ve always sung “Tiny Dancer” as “Hold me closer, Tony Danza… You can be the boss toniiiiiiight…”
. . . and here’s where I show my age:
When we were kids my older brother had this version of “Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Dee-Ay”:
Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Dee-Ay
I gotta pee today.
Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Dee-Ay
I gotta poop today.
Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Dee-Ay
I gotta fart today.
Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Dee-Ay
Oh, what a hectic day!
Her name was Leia, she was a princess,
with a danish on each ear, and Darth Vader drawing near.
So Artoo Detoo, found Ben Kenobi.
He’d have to put the Death Star plans, into the Rebellion’s hands.
So Luke and Obi-Wan, had to get to Alderaan,
so they stopped into Mos Eisley, to have a drink with Han…
At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina…
The version I learned as a kid:
Tah-rah-rah-boom-de-ay
I met a boy one day
He gave me fifty cents
To go behind the fence
My mommy was surprised
To see my belly rise
My daddy jumped for joy
I had a baby boy!
The “John Henry” thread just reminded me of all the songs the Smothers Brothers have ruined for me—songs I can never again hear without thinking about what Tom & Dick did to them.
In addition to “The Ballad of John Henry,” they spoiled “I Talk To the Trees” (“Hi there, tree! I know this girl and I like her…” A guy like that would go around talking to fire hydrants. “Hi there, fire hydrant! Just been talking to the tree! You have a lot in common, don’t you?”). And “The Fox.” And “Streets of Laredo” (“If you get an outfit you can be a cowboy too”), among others.
Momma’s little baby loves matzo, matzo
Momma’s little baby loves matzo balls.
We always sang it like this:
Oh your father is dead
And your brother is dead
And your brother is dead
And your brother is dead
And Kopeknie is dead
And your son has one leg
And your mother is old
And your wife is a lush
Hummmmmmmmm
It’s a little out of date now, but still effective.
The one I thought of when I saw this thread is also from Looney Tunes:
Come into my shop
Let me cut your mop
Daintily, daintily
syphilis… how did I get syphilis?
It started with just a kiss
and now it hurts to piss
oh how did I get syphilis?
To the tune of Yesterday
Leprosy…I’m not half the man I used to be
All my skin is falling off of me
Oh, how did I
Get leprosy?
Whoops, I see Rubystreak beat me to it! Okay then, how about a Christmas carol?
It’s beginning to look a lot like syphilis…
I think it was somewhere on this board that I first saw
Alas, my love, you’ve done me hurt
You’ve sewn green sleeves on my purple shirt
And, what’s worst of all,
You went and made me wear it
So much for the chance of me ever learning the real words. But then, anything at all can be sung to the tune of Greensleeves.
Indyellen, if you don’t already have a copy of Darrell Schweitzer’s “The Innsmouth Tabernacle Choir Hymnal”, start looking for one. Get saved for Cthulhu. He likes second helpings…
Now my entries:
I can top the Dickinson/Yellow Rose business: “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” scans perfectly to the Gilligan’s Island theme song. There are days when I hate myself for knowing this.
And thanks to “Pinky and the Brain”, I cannot hear Sousa’s Semper Fidelis march without hearing the cheese song:
Oh, how I love my cheeses
Cheese from around the world
Cheese is the taste that pleases
Cheese from around the world…
Hey you! Don’t look so perplexed
Why must you be vexed
Can’t you see you’re next?
Yes, you’re next, you’re so next…
There, you’re nice and clean
Although your face looks like it may have gone through a machine
Modern Warner Bros. cartoons have ruined some Sousa marches for me. Besides the “Cheese Roll Call” ryobserve mentioned, I can’t hear Manhattan Beach, without hearing the lyrics from one of the many theme songs for Steven Spielberg Presents Histeria! Now’s the time to watch Histeria!, just like people in Bulgaria…