One Woman's Stupidity Costs Me Three Days of My Life

The BBQ Pit
1

So I got called for jury duty last week. I went with a panel of 50 potential jurors to an attempted murder trial. Already I don’t want to do it, but it’s my civic responsibility, etc. On the plus side, we have a “one-day, one-trial” system, and it was already after lunch, and my name was 46th out of 50. I figured I’d have to sit through a couple of hours of voir dire, they’d pick their jury, and I’d get to go home and forget about it for another year.

Well, they were dismissing people right and left, and the pool was getting pretty small. I ended up as Juror Candidate #18 (they question 18 at a time, and keep 12 regulars and 2 alternates.) I was still optimistic, because the lawyers had accepted almost all the regular jurors and alternates. But it got down to 15 people, and the judge started questioning Juror #1. It went something like this:

Judge: This case involves an accusation that a handgun was used. Do you feel you could fairly judge the facts in a such a case?
Stupid Lady: Well, no, I’m against guns. I couldn’t be fair to someone who used a gun.
Judge: But it’s only an accusation at this point. Could you evaluate the accusation fairly?
Stupid Lady: No, I don’t think I could be fair to a man who shot someone.
Judge: Please bear in mind that you as the juror would have to decide for yourself whether the evidence proves he shot the victim.
Stupid Lady: But I am against violence! How can you expect me to be fair to someone who used a gun?
Judge: Ma’am, there is a presumption of innocence.
Stupid Lady: Yes, but he shot someone!
Judge: Goddamn you, you stupid old bag, did you sleep through high school civics class? Does the phrase “innocent until proven guilty” ring a bell? Bailiff, take my gavel and stuff it up Juror #1’s ass, sideways.

(Well, I embellished that last part a little. All the judge said was “You are dismissed from service.”)

Needless to say, I ended up as alternate juror #2. So I got to sit through two days of grisly testimony and then spend a third day reading back issues of “Teen People” in a waiting room while the regular jury deliberated. Not only that, but I was supposed to have gone to New Jersey on a business trip all this week, so the rest of my family went out of town to visit relatives. Then when I got stuck on the jury, I got bumped from my New Jersey trip, so now I’m home by myself all week. Fuckin’ old bat.

2

Feel proud to know that you were able to give the accused a fair shake. It’s only three days. My friend’s fiance got hung up in a mob trial in Chicago for something like 6 months sequestered. Now THAT’S an inconvenience.

3

Well, geez, you shoulda copied her, doofus!
:smiley:

4

The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

5

My feeling is that judges should be authorized to strip voting rights from people like her. If she’s too fucking stupid to serve on a jury, she’s too stupid to vote.

6

I’m glad I work in a prison. I think it’ll get me out of most future jury duty.

7

My first guess was that she was pulling something similar to lno’s quip, that she was trying to act prejudiced so she wouldn’t have to serve. But who knows, maybe she is that stupid.

8

you’d think so, wouldn’t you? I ran a correction center for 14 years. At one point, the child of a former client was accused of a crime, a former client was the main witness against him, and a former co worker of mine got seated on the jury. Yes, even though she knew the main witness, knew the mother of one of the defendants.

I sat through a voir dire recently, and it was surprising to me how difficult it was to get jurors excused. Two stated “they weren’t sure they could be fair”. that all by itself wasn’t sufficient grounds to get them off. the one lawyer requested that they be excused for cause, the other objected and further questioning was done before the judge finally excused them for cause.

9

The worst of it is, the defendant was clearly not guilty (he was guilty of a lesser charge, attempted voluntary manslaughter, which the jury had the option of imposing.) But they convicted him of attempted murder. Being only an alternate, I didn’t even get to participate in the deliberations, I just had to sit through the testimony and then cool my heels until the regular jury reached a verdict. I’m not gonna beat myself up over it, but I think I could have easily persuaded the jury to go with the lesser charge. The public defender didn’t do a very diligent job and omitted an obvious factor (“sudden quarrel”) that the law clearly spells out. It was in the jury instructions, but these peabrains were probably counting the ceiling tiles during that part.

Some people around here would say that isn’t too much of a stretch.

No, she was dead serious. She struck me as the type who spends her afternoons sending “Snopes bait” and jpegs of fuzzy widdle bunnies to everyone she knows.

10

You should feel proud that you got to perform a civic duty. Very little is imposed on us as citizens…

11

Right, miserable for you personally, but from the perspective of society, it’s good that the courts raised the average IQ of the jury a smidgen by removing the old bat. So pitting said bat is beside the point. Not her fault she’s stupid, no?

12

“Your honor, I’ve had my finger up this guy’s ass.”

Yeah, you right, you’d probably be excused.

13

I’m one up on you. On the jury questionnaire, under “occupation”, I put, “Prosecutor.” I figure they might let me slip through if I just put “attorney.”

14

Are you pissed because she was stupid or because she was honest? Just because the presumption in a trial is “innocent until proven guilty”, it does not mean everyone checks their baggage at the door. She was upfront about her baggage; she’s prejudiced against handgun users. She could not fairly judge a handgun user. Better she go to trial with that prejudice?

And obviously, he was clearly guilty of attempted murder, as decided by a jury of his peers. It is your opinion, based on the testimony of the trial, that the verdict was incorrect. But 12 men and women disagreed with you, for whatever reason. None of them were willing to make a principled stand on what you believe to be a critical issue. Perhaps you should review your reasons for making that decision. It is quite possible, during deliberations, the jury did.

15

Woohee, I’m scheduled for jury duty next month. In the past it’s never cost me more than a day (and usually not even that much), but I’m sure I’ve got a case waiting in the wings sooner or later…

16

Are you sure of it? During a military selection period, I was with this guy who appeared to be a complete nutcase. It didn’t cross my mind that he was doing this on purpose, since, he really, really, looked and sounded like a complete nutcase. Until I met him, out of chance, some months later in Venice. He had been barred from serving, and apparently he had subsquently completely recovered from his “nutcasery” and had also gained roughly 50 IQ points.
There are a number of abolutely stupid people out there, but there are also a number of good actors.

17

The way you should have played it.
Judge: This case involves an accusation that a handgun was used. Do you feel you could fairly judge the facts in a such a case?

Hyperelastic: Why would I judge? You’re the Judge! Why should I do all the work for you!

Judge: No… you don’t understand you will render a decision on whether the plaintiff’s case against the defendant has any merit.

Hyperelastic: Defendant? Is he the alligator?

Judge: Alligator?

Hyperelastic: Yeah the guy who’s allegating something happened!

Judge: You mean the plaintiff?

Hyperelastic: Whatever!

Judge: Next!

18

This was not prejudice, it was stupidity. Several potential jurors said that they would have difficulty being objective, because they had been threatened with guns in the past. That’s prejudice, and I did appreciate the honesty of those people. But Stupid Woman could not understand the difference between an accusation and a fact. When the judge says, “Ma’am, please understand that the defendant has only been accused of using a gun. Nothing has been proven yet,” and she keeps saying, “But he shot someone,” what would you call it other than stupidity?

I’ll allow that she could have been faking. But I’d rather just serve on the jury than make myself look that stupid in front of a bunch of people.

Semantics aside, all witnesses agreed that the crime was committed during a sudden quarrel and that the victim was carrying on an affair with the mother of the defendant’s children. Without a videotape or some magical insight into the defendant’s thoughts, I’d say you have a pretty hard time proving murder as opposed to voluntary manslaughter, but the prosecutor was a lot better than the public defender.

19

Working in a prison won’t get you out of future jury duty. Being a physician will, however.

20

Having done what I feel is more than my fair share of my civic duty, (I’ve been called eight times in the last 22 years and served on 4 juries) I can still say that I really don’t mind serving. Actually, it’s more fun than going to my regualar job, I just wish the pay was better. However, being an alternate doesn’t guarantee that your time won’t be wasted. All three of the civil trial juries I’ve been on were a waste of time. Some people suing other people over some trivial point of law or supposed infraction. On one of them, this guy was suing an engineering firm over some work and his biggest damage claim was that his wife quit having sex with him. This guy cost dozens of people TWO FUCKIN’ ( this is the pit afterall ) WEEKS of their life.

I think that the solution to this problem of so many frivolous lawsuits is to give juries the power to extract damages from parties that the jury deems to have wasted their time.