I’ve enjoyed the hell out of online dating, have met some fantastic women, prefer OKC over Tinder, make extensive use of the SDMB in showing them what I’m like (usually I link to the Sophia thread), and the typical 10-3-1 ratio seems to hold up:
10 messages
3 conversations
1 date
I’m always easy on where to meet, ‘whatever makes you comfortable’ is my go-to response. I suggest coffee or something simple, saying ‘if we click, we’ll talk for quite a while. If not, we can say our goodbyes early.’
They never leave early - I’m not bad at talking and can both tell, and react to, a story. While I sure haven’t taken every woman I’ve met to bed, I’ve taken them all on a 2nd date. Except the obvious alcoholic… when the bartender at Chili’s knows your name and your favorite frozen concoction, and you down 3 of those bad boys in 60 minutes, we’re just living in different worlds, ma’am.
Guys… y’all are just failing at this. OMG, the stories these women tell me! Guys immediately declaring their love, guys who flat out lie, guys who reach out but then are too timid to say ‘well, are we gonna meet or what?’, guys with profile pics 10 years younger, braggarts and douchebros. And the worst thing… you don’t listen and you don’t read the profiles:
‘Your profile says you have 2 children… tell me about them.’
‘You remember my profile?’
Don’t be that guy.
Went to a dance class the other night with Cris, a lovely woman from Mexico City who is divorced and is… though she would never put it in these words… is just sick of the patriarchy. She is a few years younger than me and, as I danced with her on this, our 2nd date, I marveled that a woman so beautiful and determined and fascinating would spend her time with me. We are seeing each other again this Wednesday and I am practicing my (horrible) dancing courtesy of YouTube so I won’t be as pathetic.
(Oh, and I don’t play games with ‘when/whom should text first’ or whatever. I’ll get home and text ‘I had a great time, you’re a wonderful person, let’s do it again’ or ‘I had a great time, you’re a wonderful person, but we just weren’t clicking’. We’re adults here, being honest is OK!)
Then there’s Laura, pictured above in one of the links, smart as hell, sardonic and a great conversationalist, and a game player. Her father has been visiting her since the day after our first date and we haven’t seen each other since, though we have been texting/calling daily. In addition to being beautiful, we have the best talks/texts with topics ranging from addiction issues to why Republicans suck to sci fi TV shows, appreciating the connections that two educated Gen-Xers are supposed to have.
And, of course, Cathy, with whom I had an LTR with during and after the divorce (no, she was not the cause, she & I didn’t meet until the property settlement was agreed upon between my ex & myself). Cathy is a domestic goddess and she was there for me when I needed somebody, and we’re still friends (saw her today, in fact) but the romantic part of our relationship is over.
Personal observations which pertain to me only…
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I do look at profile pics for clues as to who you are and I have swiped left because of things seen in the profile pics which indicates we won’t get along… a lot of alcohol pictures are a red flag for me - people really into drinking don’t care for my teetotaling ass.
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My ‘age range’ is 40-65. And 40 is pretty young, tbf. Fortunately, the ages of the women I find attractive has increased as I’ve gotten older so I’m not some pathetic loser chasing after a 29yo. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a girl in her 20s. What the fuck would we even talk about?
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Ladies, some tips? Pictures are free, there is no need to have fuzzy pics in your profile: take some more. Also, don’t make every pic a selfie - they all look the same, sorry. And do include some full body pics - none of us look like we’re in our 20s and if you put on (more than) a few life pounds, well, so has this insurance guy from San Antonio TX. It’s ok. You’re still lovely.