I think. Unlike a few months ago, when I had a minor crush on someone, I think I am ready to date in a healthy way. At that time, I wanted someone to help me with my grief and distract me. Now I just want to have fun.
So here’s my question: Where do I start? I am not a kid (I am 49), and my job is about the worst there is for meeting men; I am a psychologist so anyone I meet I can’t date. I live in a mid-sized town, and don’t belong to a church or any other groups that might lead to meeting someone. I have never tried online dating, so I know nothing about the sites. Any recommendations?
I have had good luck with the dope, so if anyone is interested PM me. I wouldn’t mind long distance, but I can’t move…unless, of course, you live in a gorgeous town on the water. Then we can talk.
Having some knowledge of your personality, I suspect you’ll be met with some success wherever you look. But I really like OKCupid in terms of getting a really good idea bout the kind of people that are also out there and looking. Seems like a lot of my close friends these days are doing the online dating thing now, with a decent amount of success. My very good friend met his current wife that way. And, of course, I know that there are some really awesome and very date-worthy Dopers out there.
I am wishing you the ABSOLUTE best of luck and success and FUN! You deserve it.
Ahem…ATTENTION DOPER GENTLEMEN – hot commodity on the market! Loves walks on beaches, has exquisite taste in food, and can probably set up your single friends, too. Grab this one while you can!
I’m so glad to hear that, Brynda! One of my friends met her current SO on match.com so you might want to try there. There’s a minimal fee so it keeps those trolling just for nookie down a bit.
Not that there’s anything wrong with trolling for nookie…
I’m assuming, my friend, that you’re exaggerating for effect, but yes. I found plenty of women my age lurking in the CupidSphere (OK, I hate myself for making up that term). Obviously, OKCupid isn’t the only site out there, either. I just liked the combination of people putting in a lot of good descriptions about themselves (something I didn’t encounter on Craigslist or another horrible dating site I got directed to, the name of which I forget at the moment) with the fact that it’s free.
I find that people over 45 fell creepy doing something like Match, and people younger than 35 can’t imagine NOT doing it.
I am engaged to my dream girl and blown away regularly by her and by how awesome life is. She was a 37 year old widow when we met, and she is as happy as I am.
We were honest in our profiles and both have cool/geeky sides that easily came out because of Match. Go for it. She told me some interesting stories from the perspective of a widow who is doing on-line dating.
Amazing experience for both of us.
PM me any questions. I have learned a lot, and her insights have been fascinating.
I found that the demographic skewed way younger, which is in and of itself not a huge problem, but more than that the women on OKCupid tended to be less literate than the average, to the point that it trying to parse the self-descriptions was often akin to solving a Genius Level Word Scramble, and responding to any woman using a cultural reference deeper than whatever reality t.v. phenomenon is currently Das Bling is just asking for a confused response. It just became to painful to even attempt to browse through.
I used to work at one of the largest dating websites (I got laid off and am paranoid about running afoul of the stupid paperwork I signed to get my layoff package, but yeah … that site, it’s already been mentioned here) and I have to say, you sound exactly like the kind of folks who got the most out of the site. Many of them are in the same boat as you as far as not being able to date people you meet at work - there were countless firefighters, nurses, and teachers on the site. You can search by ZIP or other geography, so you can look for people really close by or in, ahem, gorgeous waterside areas.
Be prepared to weed through a lot of and :rolleyes: and :dubious: but there are some very wonderful people out there online. Kinda like in real life!
Feel free to PM me if you have Qs specific to dating websites, although I think there were a couple of threads recently on the subject and other Dopers have good advice about online dating as well.
The other recommendation you’ll hear often is to follow your interests and hobbies. If you sign up for a class, tour, lecture, trip, etc. based on stuff you’re interested in doing (or trying for the first time!) you’ll automatically be in proximity to folks who have at least this thing in common with you.
If you’re the athletic, outdoorsy type, for example, signing up for a kayaking trip lets you hang out with other athletic, outdoorsy types. Then, if none of them winds up being any sort of prospect for you … you still got to enrich your life doing something that interests you.
I will second this. The few men I corresponded with on OKCupid seemed surprised that I could string together coherent sentences.
However, this doesn’t strictly apply to only the females on OKCupid. I had several messages from men that did nothing to show their intelligence, their ability to spell, punctuate, or tell the difference between your and you’re. Ah, yes, I also garnered an internet stalker for a brief period of time. That said, I also met my current boyfriend there. So I wouldn’t discount it, but I also wouldn’t have terribly high expectations.
I wouldn’t mind long distance, but I can’t move…unless, of course, you live in a gorgeous town on the water. Then we can talk.
and :rolleyes: and :dubious: but there are some very wonderful people out there online. Kinda like in real life!