I have a nine-inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.
Too subtle?
Back away. Back away from the flirting.
I’m 20, recently moved back in with my mom, don’t have a car or a job and- I know, this’ll be a shock- I’m available. Interested? I thought so. I await your PM.
Mmm-hmm… I thought my hunch was right. Heh. 
My advice is this: You’ll be shocked by how many people you like, or that you find nice… and you might have really nice dating experiences… But I would suggest you shrug your shoulders and move on until there is ‘something’ about the latest (last?) person that you just can’t shake.
I know too many people who do the math on paper and then miss out on really finding someone special. If it’s on-line dating, it is usually because they were disingenuous when writing their profile. It’s is incredibly common.
From my fiance’s perspective: After her having 2 years of various on-line profiles, and after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of contacts over those years, I am the only one that noted she was a widow and outright addressed it with her. She actually replied exactly this to me when I mentioned it: “Funny, no one ever notices or mentions anything about me being a widow. They either don’t pay attention (some guys ask how long I was divorced) or they just never mention it. Your the first one to say anything.”
.
I would find that a huge turn off. Being a widow is part of who I am, and having to say, “Um, yeah, I’m not divorced” would likely lead to uncomfortable moments. People get VERY uncomfortable around grief and death, and a person who can’t handle frank discussions of it probably can’t handle a relationship with a widow.
Well, there goes the last vestige of my self-confidence.
Also, one guy she dated and was somewhat serious with wound up at her house a couple of times. When it came time to arrange another date, he told her he would prefer it not be at her house or end at her house, because he was ‘uncomfortable’ and made references to her deceased husband (Rob) as the reason.
I live in that very house now, and it made me pause to reflect only because he (Rob) was very handy (as am I), and his craftsmanship is everywhere. So, one has to be comfortable, open and confident. We talk about everything, and I am glad to have a chance to be part of his legacy, take care of the home he built and not get immature over the whole thing. I know exactly what my fiance feels and thinks, because she tells me. This is reality. She had a husband that passed away, left children, a wife and many loved ones behind. Can’t be ingored; can’t be dwelled on… but it must be faced.
If it helps any I was turned on.
By the ear-breathing of course.
I met my husband on match.com.
It’ll take a little while. Don’t expect the first person you date from that site to be “the one.” It took me about 6 months to find the man I married. But it was worth the persevering.
Just what are you getting at, here? 
Another voice in the wildnerness for OKCupid.
I’m 38 (f, straight). The site does skew younger, but there seem to more guys in my preferred age-range (40-45) and in my area now than there were almost 4 years ago, which was the last time I was dating.
I met my ex on OKCupid: we were together for 2.5 years and lived together for a year. The breakup was almost a year ago, and I’ve only recently started to feel like dating again. I’ve tiptoed back into the online dating scene: I think my profile is in decent shape (I should probably answer more questions/take some tests), but I haven’t messaged anyone yet. I’ve “bookmarked” a couple of guys, and maybe someday I’ll feel up to actually writing to them.
Anyway, I like that the site is free, has questions and tests, and is casual. I think “free” is the biggie, because it took more than a year for me to meet my ex!
Best of luck, whatever you decide to do!
No advice – I’m an old married-almost-20-years fart and barely dated back in the Cretaceous when I was single.
I just popped in to say, I’m so glad to hear this and good for you! You deserve to be happy.
I’ll third OKCupid. Or fourth. Fifth?
I met my wife there and I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. I signed on because a doper had started a thread wanting feedback on her profile and I had to sign on to view it. OKCupid suggested Pixilated’s profile to me and one thing just led to another.
First anniversary coming up in May. I suppose I should look up the exact date.
But what if I want a really GoodCupid?
Someone had to say it.
Projammer, go look up that date right now!
Brynda - I’m glad to hear it! I think you’re doing so well, even when you don’t think so. Good luck in the search. You know, they say that people who have been widowed often find it easier to find love again,. I hope in your case, lightning strikes twice.
And if you find someone to throw my way, that wouldn’t be bad, either.
StG
Oh, nuthin’.
: whistles innocently :
Brynda, we’re in a similar situation, except I’ve been at it about a year longer than you.
I find myself pretty much not getting in a hurry. Enjoy the company of some good men, if something clicks, go for a second date and go from there. Along the way, though, there’re bound to be a few that you have to politely endure until the date is up.
Interested and interesting guys are in a lot of places. Of the ones in the past year who garnered a second date, I’ve found them the following ways:
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An ex from way back. We’d become friends again over the years and went out a few times after I became single again. He’s still a friend, but there’s a reason that we broke up.
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A guy from the security firm contracted for my workplace. After he became site manager at one of our other local facilities, he asked me out. Without a conflict of interest, I agreed and we went on a few dates. You likely have some professional contacts that are neither employees or clients, so don’t overlook them.
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An old friend. About halfway through our second date, we both realized that we were too different to date, but alike enough to remain close friends.
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A guy from OKCupid. The date site is really fun and I’ve had a number of first dates from it. I dated this one for a few months.
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A guy from an online community that isn’t a dating site. Fun and given that we went into it with some common interests, not a total shot in the dark.
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A man from my local Dem party meetings. Again, we had common interests (and politics). I still have coffee with him now and then.
Have fun with your dating life and don’t forget to get out with the girls now and then. Your girlfriends are usually a good sounding board for discussing your love life.
Brynda, no advice, but I want to say I am so proud of you, and so happy for you!
My sister started dating a few years after her husband died (she was under 40 when he passed), and I was very proud of her - still am, actually. She did notice that while many of the guys she dated had been divorced, few had been widowed. She and I are of an age where “never been married” is generally a bad sign for the stability of future relationships.
She also said something that should be carved in stone “There are people who want a relationship, and there are people who just want to get laid. When you’re our age you should know which type you are, and not try to persuade someone to switch.”
I guess I did have advice. Free, and not even worth that.
I have a widowed friend who’s dating a very nice man she met online. He gets along great with her two sons, who are about 10 and 14. He has, in fact, fixed a few things around her house, and like Philster, doesn’t act as if her husband never existed. Having had a good marriage with a decent guy – why isn’t that better than meeting a woman who’s always snarling at her ex? Brynda, you’ll meet some men who can’t deal, but there are plenty who can. Good luck to you.