This would be less funny to me if I had not repeatedly stated that I really wish I could find some wine that tastes like communion wine.
My dad is a communion slinger, and I’ve seen that his Catholic church uses a merlot with some water added by the priest (the worlds worst bartenders) so you’re really after a $6 bottle of merlot with a splash of water in it.
Since he stole the body of Christ does it count as abduction?
Praise Jesus!
No, they still exhibit the mere sensory perception of the cracker.
Karyn, I did not know that you weren’t supposed to chew them. I’m not sure what to think about that.
I’ve run into references to medieval tales about people trying to take home a piece of the host for a friend or relative who was too sick to come to church. The wafer would start to bleed as they left the church, and bleed more the further they got from it. In the end they had to turn back and confess the theft.
Kind of a pity that doesn’t happen any more. It would have spiced up the college prof’s story no end.
Communion wafers. I think it was Dane Cook who referred to them as ‘‘Jeezits.’’
Hehe.
Somehow, this wouldn’t be as amusing if he stole something from a mosque.
Maybe it wasn’t a rule but just something that we were lectured about before our first communion. They did it in second grade back then and chances are that some kids didn’t know that they aren’t supposed to chew with their mouths open or smack their lips and gross out the priest. I used to try to peek around while I was waiting for the damn thing to dissolve to see if anyone else was chewing them but all I usually saw was a lot of dry gulping.
No rule against chewing. Crunch all you want; they’ll make more.
If you’re a Calvin 'n Hobbes fan (and who isn’t?) “transmogrification” was a word they used a lot. They’d get into a cardboard box (“the transmogrifier”) and transmogrify (transmogrificate?) into all sorts of things – t.rexes, etc.
I have that big 3 volume set and I’d love to blame them for it but I was just wrong and had to look it up when he pointed it out. It’s funny that no one has ever corrected me before considering how often I bitch about Catholicism and nuns.
I think he was just trying to hasten the second coming – I mean, with about 70kg of the stuff, along with some 5 litres of communion wine, you got yourself a nice little ‘build your own messiah’-kit.
I’m sure its somewhere between Habeus Corpus and Corpus Delicti…
“Next on Rachel Ray: Kosher Corpus Delicti! Mmmm Mmmm Good!”
You missed the part where he collided with the guy walking down the street with an open peanut butter jar.
“You got your savior in my peanut butter!”
“You got your peanut butter on my savior!”
I thought a few months back I read a story about a group of Satanists who were trying to steal some communion wafers to use in a ritual. I wonder if that was this man’s motive, or just the crazy?
I don’t know what it is with this state sometimes, but then again, it never occured to me to want to steal Communion wafers.
In my Presbyterian church growing up they used Mogen David. It’s cheap (Scottish religion after all) and tastes like grape juice with some alcohol mixed in.
In many grocery stores in Quebec they sell scraps of unblessed communion wafers, in big bags marked retailles d’hosties (which is always funny to see, since hostie, “Host,” is a curse word).
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there. (And, frankly, something I had long suspected.)
Sure it would. But what would you steal from a mosque? Carpet samples?