Can’t remember any of my own, but a bunch of us were sitting around discussing singers when one person piped up with “She’s like a gay version of Melissa Etheridge.” She was totally astonished to find out that Melissa Etheridge is not straight.
From “Jack and Dianne”
[singing]
…let it rock
let it roll
let the PAPA BEAR (?!?)
come 'n save my soul
[/singing]
It’s “Bible Belt,” actually, Winston, not Papa Bear.
But don’t feel bad. For years, I thought Corey Hart was singing, “Don’t step away from the guy in shades, oh no.”
It took me forever to get the three men and a bar joke.
One day it just dawned on me out of the middle of nowhere and I busted laughing.
“Two men walked into a bar…the third one ducked”
I was way into my 30’s before I found out that the machine that plays songs in bars is not a “Juice Box”.
I also was recently informed that things are not “Honkey Dory”.
That would probably explain why I never got it. I never saw that slogan. We probably didn’t get the same ads here in britain.
Here’s one:
We rented one of those Remington Steele as James Bond Movies, and during the credits–a mere 2 hours ago–I realized that the “swirly circle” that begins each movie by tracking James Bond is the view from inside a gun (hence, the rifling–a-ha!) that is pointed at 007 held by someone who wishes James ill and is subsequently shot by the secret agent.
And all these years, I thought it was just a swirly circle thingy.
I’m 31.
Okay, could somebody explain this one?
snatch kisses
kiss snatches
snatch=vagina
It took me years to connect the written words “hors d’oeuvre” with how it was pronounced - I thought they were two completely seperate words. In my defense, I realized my mistake when I was ten or so. Plus, those sneaky French had it in for me by spelling the words strangely.
Also, I always thought that old song went, “I’m going to the jack-o-lantern/ Gonna get married” I suppose a chapel would make more sense, but the thought of a tiny couple being wed in a pumpkin is priceless.
[Homer]mmmmm… hors d’oeuvres[/Homer]
I’d try to think of something that I could add to this conversation, but I’m learning something new every third post or so. 
So did this friend think that George rhymed with point? 
[sub]Or was it “Daddy never noticed, now he’ll finally get the porridge?”[/sub]
“SAVE A TREE…EAT A BEAVER!”
I saw this on a bumper sticker when I was a little kid and thought it was funny. After all, beavers eat trees, so killing all the beavers would save trees, right? Har dee har har. I liked it so much that I drew a bunch of cartoons, complete with a giant buck-toothed rodent on a spit. I think I even passed some out to relatives at Christmas.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s that it finally hit me…
Wow! Thanks for sharing that. Never knew that. Lucky, Shep, Spot: Those all make sense. But Fido didn’t, til now.
-Another Primate
I distinctly remember what my fifth grade classroom looked like because of a riddle I’d seen for years, but never understood. The “got it!” moment is embedded in my memory.
Riddle:
How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don’t. You get down from a duck.
‘Peggy’ is a common nickname for ‘Margaret’. I have no idea why, though. Makes even less sense than ‘Jack’ for ‘John’.
D’oh! :smack:
I never sussed this, either. I always thought it looked like a shutter on a camera, which doesn’t make the most sense…
…for the record, I’m 30.
See this old thread Why are you a Dick. I believe it will clear some things up for you, although probably not with the “oooooh…now I get it” sort of impact that the ones in this thread provide.
I heard the following riddle when I was 8 and thought it the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, I mean, it just made no damned sense whatsoever! I must of spent the better part of two months trying to puzzle it out and then I gave up, though it still crossed my mind on and off. It wasn’t until I was 21 that I realized that I was just an idiot - 13 years of not understanding the following:
"If April Showers bring May Flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
Pilgrims!"
:smack: