I went through a depression and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder about frou years ago. It was the darkest, hardest thing that I have ever done. I hated taking the Prozac, than Serzone and the pills that knocked me out so I would not dream. Trust me when I say I know how it feels to just want to be without the pain for a while, even if it means being dead, and being so tired but not being able to sleep and feel refreshed.
It is worth it to make it through to the other side, if only to meet the amazing and strong person you are becoming. Don’t rob your children/future children of the chance to know you. You will find in yourself a new and deep capacity for caring and compassion and a new understanding of what it takes to survive. 
From what I’ve read, you might want to talk to Rainbowcsr about depression and all because it seems like he’s managed to survive some pretty fucked up periods, including suicidal impulses. I got to hand it to him, he certainly is a survivor.
As for these boards, well, I’ve never talked to ANYONE who lives within punching distance of me nor even in my TOWN and from what I’ve seen, any sympathy anyone wants to get from such boards is selective, biased and brief, so it’s wise not to expect any. Plus, I’ve also found that no matter how nice you are nor how popular, there is SOMEONE who is going to start some shit with you. The Internet has made it real easy to be a pain in the ass without ever having to face people and they certainly take advantage of it.
Opal is feeling down and she responds a bit erratic and out come the vultures. If it was not Opal, it would be someone else, but the vultures always are to be found on message boards. I’ve read several other posters messages which seemed honest and straightforward and found then getting attacked by other morons, so I try not to take anything on these boards real serious.
Course, now, there are a couple, who if they lived close enough to me, I think I would probably want to drive over and kind of poke them with a cattle prod just to see if they’re real and for my own satisfaction of seeing them twitch and smoke a little. Plus, anyone who writes in concerning depression, I like to THINK heavily before replying, and if I don’t have anything helpful, I don’t say anything.
Some of my friends have gone through depression and a couple of them really kept me hopping when they got bad and I learned real quick how a humorous comment could be taken as an insult when they are down. Most don’t know it, but people in depressive episodes often get real sensitive to comments and can even take normal ones the wrong way.
If Opal is on new medication, then that means she has the joy of going for 2 to 4 weeks through all of the not so nice side effects until her system gets used to it, or not. Friends of mine have expressed feelings of going nuts when they got on new medication and some became almost impossible to be around until the side effects went away or until they changed medications. Antidepressants, I learned, work directly on the brain, and secondarily, on the body. Things can get really hairy sometimes for them in both physical and mental ways.
Didn’t one poster on medication comment about how the drugs used to make his hands shake until he got used to them? One friend of mine complained that his antidepressant drug used to make him feel like he was not really there, which he thought was cool for the first two days but by the end of a week, he was really tired of it and glad when the effect vanished two weeks later.
Sure, you can switch drugs, but often you have to be tapered off of one before starting the other and that means you get some mild withdrawal symptoms and then get to start on a whole NEW bunch of side effects, more than likely, with the new drug.
A girl friend of mine explained to me once that one of the biggest problems in chronic depression is that the brain reaches the point that it is USED to being depressed and considers the situation normal, even if logically it knows that it is not. So, when drug treatments and therapy start, the patient has to not only get used to the medication, start working out the depression but actually fighting their own subconscious because the brain, being stubborn, does NOT like to change back to normal.
Clear as mud? I thought so. Read it a few times and you’ll get the idea.
‘I like me but I sure as shit aint so positive about you.’
All our good wishes go out to Opal, of course. And, even though there are the tacky people online who will prey on the vulnerable, there are also some pretty great people online too.
Nightgirl:
Oh wow, this is familiar! I have (I think) a usually “mild” form of depression. It seems to run in the family. I guess it is pretty mild (though there were times when I just cried and cried for no reason - didn’t feel too “mild” then) because I seem to function pretty well most of the time. Anyway, I had a major breakthough a few years ago when I started to take a whole battery of vitamins. I guess with some people, proper vitamins can help. It did with me. Anyway, for a few months after the vitamins kicked in, I felt so weird. I almost missed the irrational mood swings, and the hellish PMS. It was so much a part of me for so long, not having it anymore took some getting used to.
Anyway, Nightgirl, thanks for the info about how these medications work. This is good information to have, and hopefully we all will be a little more informed and tolerant towards this issue.
Why is this topic in the Pit? If you are trying to help Opal with her depression, which is a good thing, why is it here in the Pit?
To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart. unknown