Open Letter to Microsoft Word (warning: big red swearing)

Will you STOP FUCKING SELECTING STUFF THAT BEARS NO FUCKING RESEMBLANCE TO WHERE I CLICKED THE FUCKING MOUSE EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!

Ok?

Is this some bizarre mouse issue, or the super-annoying, “I’ll bet you want to highlight the entire word and this punctuation mark, don’t ya?” thing?

You can turn that off, you know. Tools, Options, the Edit tab, uncheck “When selecting, automatically select entire word.”

I didn’t know that - thank you.

Real men use nothing but Notepad. And if anyone mentions vi, I’ll sob.

It’s not just selecting entire words. That’s annying enough. It’s selecting extra dashes and punctuation. In fact everywhere I’ve ever tried to begin a selection, word has chosen to start somewhere else.

I had a vi editor for dos once. :smiley:

Feh. Emacs. Vi is for geeks, and using Notepad instead of Wordpad makes no sense whatsoever.

But Emacs rules them all.

sniff…
Remember, Brutus, no crying in public…

Actually, though I loathe to use ‘open source’ software, Open Office is the only ‘office’ app I use. I am sure some incompatibilities with MS Office exist, but I haven’t found them yet. I use it both at home and at the office. And the price is pretty good.

The obvious way to do it is to make the selection follow the cursor, but have a little pop up that says “press ctrl now and select to the nearest word”?

I can’t stand how my margins keep on getting fucked, especially after making lists. And that damn “style” nonsense keeps getting on my nerves:

HEY!!! WHY IS MY “NORMAL” TYPE NOW CONSIDERED A “HEADING 1”??? WTF DOES IT MATTER, AND WHY DOES IT HAVE TO MATTER??? CAN’T IT JUST BE “NORMAL” FOR ALL ETERNITY AND ALLOW ME TO MAKE MY OWN DAMNED HEADERS.

And what the hell is it with the 10-point type default, huh? Does Microsoft have a sideline in magnifying glasses? For cry eye, I HATE having to take every freakin’ document that’s emailed to me for proofreading and Select All - Format - Font - 11 or 12 point - Okay - Print!

At least I’ve managed to slay the damned paperclip helpful suggestions thingy.

I think Microsoft seriously needs to reconsider their assesment of how intelligent people are. i.e. they know what the fuck they are doing and they don’t need their software to guess.
I mean come on, how often is Word’s sticky-fingered interference and guess work usefull? I expect it’s something like 5% of the time.

When I saw this title, I was like, wtf is “big red swearing?” Now I see.

And thanks for this little gem

Because that annoyed the shit out of me, too.

I used Word years ago, then switched to Word Perfect (because it came with my new computer, Word didn’t), but since I needed PowerPoint I switched back to Word. I’ve had it about a week now, Word 2003. Two things that are annoying me:

  1. I did a page setup on 3"x5" index cards for a speech. Now every time I open a new document it is formatted to 3"x5" index cards and I have to manually set it back to 8"x11" paper.

  2. I can not find any way to format two spaces after a period. I know that is not the norm anymore, but my English professor last semester insisted we double space after a period. There is a way to set it up in Word Perfect that all single spaces after periods are switched to double spaces, but I can’t find anything like that in word. I’m not in the habit of double spacing after a period, so I find this very annoying.

I don’t use vi but I’d damn well take it up before I’d use Word.

I’m a BBEdit person for text and, if I actually need formatted text or things like footnotes and stuff, an AppleWorks person. Used to use Nisus Writer and WordPerfect on occasion but found I only used 10% of their capabilities, and for that 10% AppleWorks does it with keystrokes and commands I already know a lot better. (Dating back to MacWrite Pro of old, actually).

I used to think Word was one of those programs you either loved or loathed, but now more and more I find people who use it and put up with it while cursing it. Why? Well, OK, if you’re collaborating on a book with 3 other coauthors and they’re using Word I could see how that could happen, but the rest of you, what’s your reason for not using something else if Word doesn’t please you? You do know that you can translate to and from Word and most any other decently mainstream word processing app, right??

When you go to Page Setup, and reset the paper size to 8.5" by 11" paper, click the Default button.

For the double space after period, I don’t think there’s a way to do it on the fly. But when you’re finished with your document, just do a global search and replace, finding every period followed by a space, and replacing it with a period followed by two spaces. Simple.

Tools, AutoCorrect Options, the AutoFormat tab. Uncheck the boxes in the top section.

Screaming and yelling at a software package is usually not effective. I find that exploring the menu options has a much better chance of success.

It only helps within Word, alas. The click-and-drag-to-select routine still tries to be “helpful” in other applications, like Internet Explorer, and it’s a pain. As I enter this very message, for example, if I try to select your opening “And t” without getting the rest of “hanks,” it fights me - it wants to take all of the next word. I have yet to find a more global setting to turn this off.