open mouth, insert foot

I’m 18, maybe 19. It’s the first summer after my freshman year of college, and my housing plans fall through, so I temporarily move in with my boyfriend. This is not music to my (very religious) parents’ ears. My mom comes to visit, and amazingly things are going well. It’s around 2am, my mom, my boyfriend, myself, and our housemates have all been hanging out playing cards for hours. I guess everyone was so relaxed they forgot my mom was a “Mom” because one of the housemates makes some comment about my boyfriend never getting any. Boyfriend immediately replies, “hey, I get some every night!” My mother gives him a look that only a mother can give, and he suavely replies, “But not with your daughter.”

It’s been almost 7 years since this took place, and Boyfriend is now Mr. Mirth. But he has still not managed to live this down, and I doubt he ever will.

We all have them… that moment you did something that your loved ones will never let you forget. What’s yours?

Great story, Mirth.

Mine was at home with my entire family about 12 years ago, having Sunday lunch. Also attending was my sister’s BF - let’s call him Peter - sitting next to me. And let’s call Peter’s somewhat eccentric parents Jane and Arthur. We’d been eating a lot and drinking wine, and Peter was being really quitet - so I’d completely forgotten Peter was there.

The conversation got round to Jane and Arthur. In a lull in the conversation, I said:

“Jane and Arthur are weirdest couple of crackpots I’ve ever met.”

There was a horrified silence during which I realised who was sitting to my left. I blushed so hard I thought my ears were going to drop off. It was such a gaffe that nobody even tried to make a joke out of it - someone clumsily changed the subject.

To understand my story you need to know that I do not like flowers.

I was working on my last birthday and received a call from our operator telling me that some flowers had arrived for me. I get up to get them all the time complaining that I do not like flowers and wondering aloud who might have stupidly wasted money on sending me some.

I come back to the office, carrying the flowers, still complaining (I was in a really bad mood that day). I open the card, read it… and want to die! The flowers were from my cow-orker who had been sitting there the whole time… was my face red.

I apologized about 500 times but she still teases me about this. :o :o :o :o

Not involving my family, the absolute worst thing ever done was back during my senior year in high school. A bunch of us were sitting around during an open mod (class where there’s no class; essentially “study hall”) when the subject turned to this guy Brain and his new haircut. Being a typical statement of my family to jest when a hair cut is pointed out, I jokingly asked “What’d you do, stick your head under the lawn mower?”

With that, my friends Josh and Sam shot me this look of terror and shock. Luckily Brian didn’t hear me because he was engaged in other conversation, but later on I asked Josh what the big deal was.

“His dad was killed by a lawn mower.”

At first, I though he was just jerking my chain, friends have the tendency to do that, but when my girlfriend confirmed the story to me without any congregation with Josh, I felt really bad. Apparently, Brian’s dad worked as a lawn man, and one day was on a riding mower and ran over a downed bees nest. As the bees swarmed him, he fell over the front of the mower and was run over by it.

I felt lucky as hell that Brian hadn’t heard me, and it was an honest statement, but yeah, I still felt like shit.

My friend Matt is a fairly good guy, but can be a bit over the top at times. One day when we were in high school, he was talking to some friends in the concourse. They said something and he replied with a Jim Carrey imitation of “It wasn’t me, it was the one armed man!”.

Of course, walking past him at that very moment was the kid who blew his hand off with a firework just a few months earlier…

Wow. Sorry about your friends dad, El Elvis Rojo.

However, along the same lines, has anyone seen a Saturday Night Live skit where a bunch of folks are at a party and everyone keeps, accidentaly, making inappropriate comments? It starts out serious, then gets absurd. Something like:

Man 1: Looks like he cut his hair with a lawnmower!
Everyone: gasp His father was killed by a lawnmower!

<later in skit>

Man 2: Sorry I’m late, but my flight was delayed.
Everyone: gasp Don’t you know?! Bob’s mom died in a plane crash!

<and later still>

Man 3: Boy, these cookies are great!
Everyone: gasp Didn’t you hear? Jane’s brother just got fired from the cookie factory!

Very funny stuff! I wish I could find the transcript.