Just a bit of background first. My girlfriend is 23 (I’m 29) and living in the UK (I’m in the US). She’s studying opera and touring, and doing quite well too. However, she still has moments of self-doubt and on her bad days will ask if I’ll still love her if she’s not a big star.
Anyway, talentless hack that I am, I’m currently working on a poem/song with the general theme (and working title) of You’ll Always Be My Star. I’m hoping it’ll help reassure her. I’ve been looking for a secondary gift to go along with that, and have two possibilities that I was hoping to get opinions on. Each has pros and cons.
The first is to purchase one of those “Name a Star” jobbies and name a star after her. It fits in with the song, and can be a sly reminder that now no matter what she’ll always be a star to me. However, I’m also aware that it’s not really legit – no government or official entity “recognizes” it – and is pretty much just free money for these places. There’s the romanticized aspect of it, but I’m finding it hard to get past the “nothing for something” part of it – and a lot of “something” depending on which company you use.
The second option is a stuffed Star Bellied Sneetch of Dr. Seuss fame. This also fits in with the song, as the message of the cartoon is that Sneetches are the same star or no star – i.e., that I’ll love her the same, if she’s a star or not. Possibly going against this option is that I got her a stuffed animal for her birthday. She’s said in the past she’s not too much of a stuffed animal girl, but she’s also said that she now sleeps with “Bert” every night, the first time since she was little she’s done that. I don’t know if getting another stuffed animal will be seen as “going to the well once too often” or if the connection with the rest of the gift will overcome that.
Anyway, just thought I’d get some opinions of others, see what any initial reactions might be. I realize no one knows me or my girlfriend, but I’m thinking maybe clear heads may be able to give better opinions on this one, or at least offer opinions and give me something to think about. Thanks in advance!
Oh, and flowers on the Day Of are already in the works, if that matters in your opinion-making at all. lol.
First let me say that I love the way that you are putting so much thought into this. Taking the time to ponder whether star-theme overcomes duplicative stuffed animal situation, etc. shows that you really THINK about what you’re getting her, and probably shows that you really think about what she wants, likes, thinks, etc. too. Generally speaking, women think a lot about that kind of stuff, and we love it when men do too…
Anyway, both your ideas are good, but I like the “Name A Star” idea better. It seems rather romantic to me, star theme or no. If I were her, I would LIKE the idea that you were willing to spend money on something that for all practical purposes is worthless, just for me, and just to reinforce the notion that I am a star, at least to you. I guess someone who is hyper-practical wouldn’t like that…but if she dreams of opera stardom, she has to be at least a bit of a romantic.
Personally, I would prefer the stuffed animal. It shows a lot of thought. Most importantly, at least then you know you’re getting something real for your money. While I would be appreciative of the thoughtfulness of someone who named a star for me, I really don’t agree with the way those “name a star” companies operate (deceiving people about their authority to name stars), so I’d really prefer not to support them in any way.
Anyway, it sounds like you’ve created a verrrrrry thoughtful and sweet gift. Either way I bet she will like it.
I’ve framed those Name A Star things for various women who were given them…and none of them seemed to think it was anything but outrageously romantic. (Even if the whole thing is basically a scam. I wish I’d thought of it first.)
I’d go for the star. Takes more work than the stuffed animal, and in a woman’s mind, more work = more Valentine Luv.
I love stuffed animals, but one is enough for that, esp. since she’s bonded with that one. (I like the Sneetch idea, but maybe a poster or a keychain or something as an out-of-the blue present some other time, not for VD.)
I don’t know about the star thing – it seems dumb to me, but I’m a Capricorn, very materialistic.
Zoe’s idea of a bracelet is good – or maybe a necklace, so she could wear it all the time (under her costume when she’s performing, but it would still be close to her heart – swoon).
I like the Sneetch, but someone also mentioned a star bracelet - any type of star jewelry would be great - either a necklace or a bracelet, so it could become her “lucky charm” sort of thing.
I married someone just like you (in this respect) and I love him to death!
LOL … twickster, she’s a Capricorn too so maybe I should take your advice more seriously. As for the necklace, I’m one step ahead of you … there was one around Bert’s neck when she got him. Maybe that’s why she’s bonded with Bert so much.
Still haven’t decided for sure, but I appreciate all the thoughts and advice. Definitely given me some help.
If she doesnt like stuffys, but has bonded with Bert, ditch the stuffy theme. If you go with it it could also make you seem thoughtless for not having “remembered” that she isn’t much for stuffys. Don’t want to be a one-trick-poney.
Go with the name-a-star thing It is as somone said, senselessly romantic, even if the whole thing was a scam. God knows, enough people have “our song” or “our bench in the park” without ever owning the rights to the music or owning the bench in the park. Its cute as hell, and if you need to rationalise the “nothing for something” part, think of it as paying for wall-poster when you hang the cert on the wall.
I’m all for the tasteful star-themed jewelry, but, then again, I don’t know you or your girlfriend. I like the fact that it’s something permanent, and the “wearing it next to your heart” thing is nothing if not romantic.
Ooooh! I’m a girl, and I say have a star in the sky named after her! See if you can get a map or something or a certificate. So neat! Besides, stuffed animals have been done before.
On Hollywood Boulevard you can buy a little (maybe 12" x 12"), personalized mockup of a Walk of Fame star. Maybe nowadays they have the same thing on the Internet somewhere. Something to look into.
Well, either one would make me burst into tears and fall in love with you.
I guess I kind of like the star idea a bit better. She’ll always know it’s up there. Wherever she is, wherever you are, you’ll both always have that star up there. (Okay, how’s that for sappy?)
Does she like Dr. Suess? If it’s something she’s really into, the Sneetch would be sweet. If not, it would still be sweet, but not as special.
While I would be appreciative of the thoughtfulness of someone who named a star for me, I really don’t agree with the way those “name a star” companies operate (deceiving people about their authority to name stars), so I’d really prefer not to support them in any way.
As for the necklace, I’m one step ahead of you … there was one around Bert’s neck when she got him. Maybe that’s why she’s bonded with Bert so much.