What about fop? I first saw that word in reference to Mick Jagger. Somewhat degrading, but not as bad as nancy-boy.
I think I’ve always heard ‘tomboy’ used as positive, especially by a woman referring to herself. Drew Barrymore, for example. I think it accentuates their femininity, in their minds.
I have heard the term ‘girlish’ used, with not too much negativity. As in “Handsome in a girlish way”.
Peace,
mangeorge
Being part of the just-don’t-give-a-damn era, My friends and I have called them ‘Sue Girls’. Probably because Tomboy has a male name in it, so we thought that the term for guys with girlish tendincies should have a female name in it. It sounds stupid, though. Oh well. :rolleyes:
I think that the problem is that people are identified this way strictly on the basis of the presence or absence of stereotypically male characteristics. For instance, it’s good to be athletic, and it’s good to be self-sufficient, whichever gender you are… But these qualities are stereotypically considered “male”. If a girl, then, is self-sufficient and athletic, that’s good, and she’s called a tomboy. If a boy is not self-sufficient or athletic, then that’s bad, and he’s called a sissy.
On the other hand, some traits, such as sensitivity, are stereotypically considered feminine. Nobody ever seems to imply, though, that a tomboy is less sensitive, or that a sissy is more.
A child? “Princess.”
There is a word “tomgirl” but I’ve never heard it actually used in real life.
I use “sissy”. Yeah, it’s pejorative, but that’s because folks tend to think the concept itself is pejorative. The word itself means “sister-like”, so it doesn’t really have negative denotation unless you hold a low opinion of females.
I needed a term to refer to myself in this regard, so I figured I’d follow the lead of gay folks who proudly refer to themselves as “queer” or “faggot”, so I call myself "sissy.
Same Closet Different Door: A Heterosexual Sissy’s Coming-out Party
Ooh, a kindred spirit! Now the word doesn’t sound QUITE so bad to me after all…
EvilGhandi says: “A silly quote from, straykat23: ‘Tomboy’ is a word I haven’t heard used for at least three decades”
At least since since 1971 huh?
I beg to differ I heard the term used yesterday."
I don’t know what this means. EvilGhandi heard it yesterday, I haven’t heard it in thirty years. Does this mean that one of us is wrong? Maybe I’ve heard it but by selective memory have decided it would not make an impression on my psyche? Why is this a ‘silly quote’ when I’m simply making a statement about what I’ve heard or not heard?
I have read the word ‘tomboy,’ and have probably heard it in the media when referring to times past. But no, I have not heard this word spoken about young women by any of my acquaintances or in any forum, speech, workshop, etc., that I have attended. It simply isn’t an issue any longer.
Umm…I dunno if this is considered an offensive word or not–so please bear in mind that it is not my intention to assign any hatred to the following noun…
But I always figgered the vernacular term for a girly-guy was “Fairy”. Or “Fairy-boy”.
As noted early on, by Lemur866, there is no word in our society (English-speaking early 21st Century world) that will not have negative connotations. Ostensibly “male” traits are still considered “better” than ostensibly “female” traits. (Things are slowly improving.)
I would think the closest (not quite) neutral word to a corresponding term for tomboy would be the adjective effeminate.
I would see all the previous suggestions as very seriously derogatory. Effeminate is not a complement, but it can be phrased to be less of an insult.
Ashtar:
Everywhere I’ve lived, that term has rather central sexual-preference implications, which the OP might either prefer not to emphasize or find to be entirely misleading.
tomndebb:
To me that one is creepy in a psychiatric-clinical sort of way. Sort of like “homophiliac” for gay folks.
Okay, thank you for all the responses! Apperantly this is just a weird gap in our language that hasn’t quite been filled yet, so other terms must be taken that mean something similar, though different.