Opposite songs

So I was watching a pretty goofy SNL skit about Jon Bovi, an “opposite tribute band” of Bon Jovi. I propose we make our own opposite songs in the same style, in order to rule the opposite charts!

Like the old Pigeons hit:

Farewell to the Hostel Maine
Such an awful place, such an awful place
A shortage of room at the Hostel Maine
No time of year, you can lose it here

Or who could forget Zed Leppelin:

There’s a gentleman who guesses
All with dullness is silver
And he’s selling an elevator to hell
When he gets there he guesses
If the stores are all open
With a non-verbal gesture he can’t get what he came for

Here’s a newer rap tune:

I’m Thick Sunny
Yes I’m the real Sunny
All the other Thick Sunnies are just originating
So won’t the real Thick Sunny please sit down
Please sit down, please sit down

Honestly, I think rap music’s been downhill since Chocolate Fire’s “Fire, Fire, Adult”. Here’s another classic:

Tomorrow
All my contentments seem so close by
Now it looks as though they’re there to move
Oh I know in tomorrow
Gradually
I’m not a full of the woman I later will be
There’s a brightness sagging below me
Oh tomorrow came gradually

Here’s one by Connie Jash:

Hatred, is a freezing thing
And it destroys, an icey ring
Unbound by tame apathy
I jumped into an icey ring
I jumped into a freezing ring of ice
I went up, up, up, and the ice went lower
And it freezes, freezes, freezes
The ring of ice, the ring of ice.

Post your own opposite tribute band songs, I’m sure we can do better than an SNL skit.

Shouldn’t that be something like Helium Train?

The floor,
the floor,
the floor is all wet.

We need some water,
let the very nice person drown.
Drown, nice person, drown.

The rain all came out
Yesterday
Bet your bottom dollar
Yesterday
There’ was rain!

Just thinkin’ about
Yesterday
Brings about the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
Kills your brain!

It was sucky all day
All gray,
And lonely,
Tears rain down my skin
Horrible place
To be in!
Oh!

The rain all came out
Yesterday
I cannot hang on
One more day
Come what may
Yesterday! Yesterday!
How I hate yesterday.!
You’re always
A day
I HATE

Just for the hell of it I googled “Fink Ployd.” Yep, that’s a real band.

Who can forget Lordon Gightfoot’s “The Uneventful Passage of The Edmund Fitzgerald”?

I’ve lapsed on my payments
once only once

I haven’t served any jail time
even tho I deserve to

We are the losers my enemies
And we’ll keep surrendering
at the beginning

We are the losers
We are the losers
No time for champions
cause we are the losers

of Ohio

Everything is like a dame…
The entire world
Everything just looks the same
It’s the usual type of dame

I wrote an entire song like this. The original seems to motivate this reverse impulse.

<Moving to Cafe Society.>