Wiki seems to think this phrase came from a Simpsons episode. I keep feeling like they (The simpson, not Wiki) are referencing something else. Some schlock horror film I’m not remembering. Can anyone lend me a hand here?
It was a Simpsons episode in which Rainer Wolfcastle is making a movie (I think Milhouse gets the role of his sidekick?). Wolfcastle gets washed away in a river of some kind of toxic sludge, and as he floats off, he shouts, “My eyes! The goggles do nothing!”
I was wondering this very thing last night while Mandisa was performing on American Idol.
It’s indeed from a Simpsons episode. It’s a Ranier Wolfcastle (Arnold Schwarzenegger parody) line - they’re filming a movie, and the cast and crew put on safety goggles so the giant vat of acid that is being spilled doesn’t get in anybody’s eyes. Bart’s friend Milhouse quits the movie and doesn’t save Ranier like he’s supposed to, so the hero is swept away by a giant wave of acid. He yells the line in question as this happens.
It’s not a reference to anything else as far as I know.
It comes from a Simpsons episode in which Bart’s friend Milhouse is chosen to play Fallout Boy, sidekick of Radioactive Man, in the live-action film of Bart’s favorite comic book.
Reiner Wolfcastle, the Schwarzenegger-esque Austrian film star, is playing Radioactive Man in a scene where he is trapped in some kind of acid flood. Fallout Boy is supposed to come to his rescue, but he is having emotional issues related to Bart’s jealousy over not getting the part and the damage said jealousy is doing to their friendship.
When Milhouse fails to show, Wolfcastle is accidentally left awash in acid, for which he has been provided with nothing but goggles for protection, at which point he utters the line in question.
(Of course by the time I hit “Preview” there were already four responses, but, dammit, I’m not going to let that stand in my way!)
There were none when I started typing, and two by the time my post went through. That’s the Dope for you. 
Anyway, this is the episode in question.
Uh, guys? The OP says he knows about the Simpsons episode. That’s not the question. The question is whether there was some other source before the Simsons, that they were referencing.
There was a short story in TSR’s Dragon Magazine (before the Simpson’s episode) about an unfortunate dragon who chooses an island infested with tinker gnomes as his lair, and announces this fact before he realizes it is populated by the troublesome beings. They are all very happy to see the dragon, who only wants to rest after a titanic battle with his rival (in which he prevailed and ate his rival) but cannot due to the high pitched high speed conversation. The gnomes want to test their fireproof suits, and he finally obligingly spits fire at them. They are very happy, until he blasts in the direction of their explosives. That is where the phrase “The googles, they do nothing” is used in the story. If not that exact phrase, something very similar. I do not remember the story title, but it was published in the early '90s. Could you be thinking of this? I do not know if the story was borrowing from anything or not, though.
Aha, I found the name of it. It was titled The Taking of Mount Nevermind, by David Wise. I see quite a few favorites in this list. I wish these stories would be released as a several book anthology.
Hearing it with the Austrian accent, it made me feel like I had heard similar, but with a French accent.
“Americans! They know nothing!”
Something like that. Not sure where that came from, but I do agree that there is something of a deja vu about the phrase. But that’s the beauty of it, it doesn’t mean anything.
Of course, I prefer the phrase “The Googles! They do nothing!” which is good for arguments with people who think google is the be all and end all of knowledge.