Other uses for food

I’d like to know if anyone uses food for anything other than eating. For instance, I’ve used peanut butter to get gum out of hair, and when my slider rocking chair squeaks I spray it with Pam. Works like a charm. Sometimes I put baking soda in the laundry, too.

Anyone else?

Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

I’ve used food for a variety of things that shouldn’t be done at the dining room table during Thanksgiving dinner. I must say that I was giving thanks at the top of my lungs nonetheless.

Well, I’ve stood on boxes of canned goods to reach things up high. Does that count?

Oh, and I’ve thrown food for various reasons!

Strangers have the best candy.

Ok, Omni-not, you owe me a new monitor and keyboard.

I have to admit that I have used food as a part of sex play, although it was so long ago the memories are hazy.

I have also used food as part of a skin care regimen. Oatmeal and honey facials, stuff like that.

“Love given when it is inconvenient is the greatest love of all. Kindnesses that are shared at a high cost to oneself are the most dear.”

Don’t know who said it, but I like it.

whoops…scratch my -not part…sorry…

::wincing:: No no NO, Michelle! Tell me you didn’t say that!

::sitting back and waiting for the follow ups::


Michelle: What part would you like me to scratch?

Got into a huge food fight when I worked in a restaurant back in the HD days. Got my brother good with a pie in the face. I know that’s so cliche, but it’s also very liberating…

And then there’s whipped cream as clothing, or course, but that is also passe…

Yer pal,

Once I saw a gigantic centipede crawling in my kitchen sink. I had to kill it instantly or it was gonna eat me. Okay, so I have a thing about centipedes, and was thus having trouble seeing thing in proper perspective. After all, I am told that there really aren’t any centipedes five feet long, which means I must have imagined the one in my sink being longer than it actually was.

Anyway, the weapon I chose was a honey bear (one of the plastic squeeze-bottles of honey shaped like a bear). I poured it all over the gigantic beast, immobilizing it and saving my tiny mammalian life. Then I was able to bring larger weapons to bear (I used a knife since my bazooka was not hand), to deliver the killing stroke.

I have also heard that open-faced peanut butter sandwiches make an excellent way to humanely incapacitate viscous dogs. The rabid pit bull/doberman/centipede mix won’t be able to resist gobbling the thing up, and then of course it will have to deal with its mouth being glued shut. Then you can sneak past it without getting mauled. (I make no guarantees and am not responsible for maulings caused by dogs who do not fancy peanut butter.)

Potatoes make great cannon balls.You just need that pvc launcher.

Rotten eggs are great for playing catch, if you get to throw first. It’s a farm game.

Home made bread makes a great door stop if your yeast is bad and you cook it anyway. I took half a year for that loaf to disapear outside. Nothing ate it, and it withstood the weather.

A combination of bread crums, crisp leftovers, cigarette ashes, Cherry Coke stains and sweet wrappers makes the perfect carpet for in your car.

(Gotta vaccuum that damn thing one of these days :wink: )


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Boris,I personally,have never run into a viscous dog.They can’t stand upright actually.Too slippery :wink:

I make frequent use of a home gasogene. For years I cursed and sweated as I screwed the CO2 canister home, but I wanted that nice bubbly aerated water for my evening highball. Put ordinary lubicating oil on the screw-threads? Yuck…the flavor’d get into my whiskey, wouldn’t it?

So one evening my eye lights on the jug of extra virgin olive oil. A drop on my fingertip, swirled into the threads. Two years later, that ONE lubrication event is making my seltzering life a breeze…

…I can’t attest to this one, but I’ve read somewhere (a Charles Bukowski novel, I think) that if you put a raw egg and a pound of ground round into a milk bottle, you’ll never need another woman again.


Ya know Ike, I started to picture what that would be used for, but my mind thankfully couldn’t comprehend that image…I actually think I blacked out for a minute…You worry me friend…lol

I haven’t lost my mind, I have a tape backup around somewhere.

Omni-not, thumbs up! :wink:

Michelle - it must be catching. Sorry, Omni.

Boris B. - Any particular reason you didn’t just use the bottom of the plastic honey bear to squash the centipede? Panic does lovely things to the mind, eh?

As for the food-for-non-food purposes, and excepting what Omni has already covered (I mean it does get eaten in the end, so to speak), there are always “toast frisbees”. Much more difficult to control than a machine made plastic disc.

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

I’m tellin ya, that critter was four feet long! I never coulda kilt it with a honey bear! And the bazooka was in the shop! Thank goodness I had my seven-foot machete handy (for turkey carving) or I would been centipede supper!

After that I hired several viscous coon hounds, a solid pit bull, and a colloidal rottweiler to defend my sink. But that’s not really pertinent to the thread since I rarely, if ever, eat dogs.

Is the title of this thread part of the purity test?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.