Once I saw a gigantic centipede crawling in my kitchen sink. I had to kill it instantly or it was gonna eat me. Okay, so I have a thing about centipedes, and was thus having trouble seeing thing in proper perspective. After all, I am told that there really aren’t any centipedes five feet long, which means I must have imagined the one in my sink being longer than it actually was.
Anyway, the weapon I chose was a honey bear (one of the plastic squeeze-bottles of honey shaped like a bear). I poured it all over the gigantic beast, immobilizing it and saving my tiny mammalian life. Then I was able to bring larger weapons to bear (I used a knife since my bazooka was not hand), to deliver the killing stroke.
I have also heard that open-faced peanut butter sandwiches make an excellent way to humanely incapacitate viscous dogs. The rabid pit bull/doberman/centipede mix won’t be able to resist gobbling the thing up, and then of course it will have to deal with its mouth being glued shut. Then you can sneak past it without getting mauled. (I make no guarantees and am not responsible for maulings caused by dogs who do not fancy peanut butter.)