Ouija help me out?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Next Saturday evening I’m volunteering at a fundraiser for a local museum. It’s for adults - there is booze and a band. I will be in charge of the Ouija Table. I will have a three foot circular table and a Ouija board. People can pay $1 each to ask a question of the Ouija board. If they are single, I join then on the Ouija piece to move it around.

I turn to the wisdom of the Dope for some suggestions.

Costume: I’m planning on being a well-dressed Devil and might rent a tux. I’m not going to dye my skin red but will be getting some horns, a tail, pitchfork, etc. The rationale for being the well-dressed Devil is that I’m looking to meet women. Any other suggestions for pulling this off?

Table: I have to decorate my table. Beyond a black tablecloth and some glow-in-the-dark bugs or something I’m stuck for ideas.

The whole Ouija table thing: It seems odd to me but if they think people will pay a buck to do it . . . I thought that there might be some people who wouldn’t know what question to ask and thought about putting some questions in a jar so they could pull one out and ask it of the great spirt of Ouija. I might salt it with a few, “Will I find the lover of my dreams?” in case I have the chance to help a woman move to “U JUST DID” but I can’t think of other questions.

Thanks

whistlepig

2

Make sure you tell the entities you contact when the session is over, in no uncertain terms.

On the other hand, if the person you’re playing with seems prone to supernatural fear, some time in the session you could pop an Alka-Seltzer in your mouth and roll your eyes back in your head, then start speaking in a different voice then you usually do. Using this voice, predict dire things as you foam at the mouth.

3

I’m just curious about how the whole “Dressing up as Satan so I can charge people $1 to use a Ouija board at a party to meet women” angle works out!

4

I’m also doing well dressed Devil on Halloween. My plan is minimalist- horns and a suit. You’d clearly look well dressed, and clearly be the Devil. No more is needed.