Ahhh, here is the thread.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=520588&highlight=fuck
damn, its been nearly a year already. I’ve had a good cry and now I think I’ll call it a night.
Best wishes.
You’re doing the right thing. Stache isn’t enjoying life any longer, and she’s suffering. This is the last thing that you can do to show her that you care for her. And it’s about the hardest thing to do, too. She would thank you for this, if she was capable of it.
Jolly Roger, you know in your heart if this is the right thing to do. At that time, you need to be strong for Stache, and give her the last gift she can receive - an end to her suffering and pain.
After that, maybe you can bury Stache in the back yard in a spot where she liked to hang out. Trouble, the cat I mentioned before, is in the back corner of our yard, under a stone that I found in the field behind us. Ten years later, that damned cat still lives up to his name. The lawn mower blade catches the tip of that rock now and then.
I miss him.
I would gladly bitchslap bettyporkta right about now.
I am so sorry that you are saying goodbye to a beloved family member, it never gets any easier.
I agree with your wife, they do let you know when it’s time. Your kitty isn’t enjoying life any longer and while it’s hard on you, you’re doing her a great favor. Stay with her until the end-as has been said upthread, she deserves to have your voice, your touch, your scent the last sensations she has.
(((hugs)))
We’ve decided to have her cremated. Its the wife’s call really. I told her I was willing to see if there can be anything done for Stache (within reason) but she tearfully said it wouldn’t be right to make her go through more vet visits and medicines, that really only make her unhappy and don’t seem to work well. Plus the other cats have been bullying her since shes been sick.
All of the cats love the sun room in our new house, but its the only room with carpet and we can’t let them in there. Because Stache can’t control her bowels and well, you know what happens. Banshee and Jet love to sleep on the bed, but they can’t come into the bedroom with the door shut. We can’t leave it open because Stache craps in it.
And when she does make it to the litterboxes, Patches pounces on her. The wife doesn’t want another “replacement” cat…but I will miss Stache so much.
We put our cat to sleep on Monday.
She was 21 years old, hadn’t eaten in 3 days, was peeing herself incessantly, and couldn’t climb as high as the couch. It was time. The vet did an excellent job, and disposed of the body herself.
It wasn’t easy, of course. Outside of her immediate family, the cat was the longest relationship my wife had ever had. Surprisingly, our 5-year-old son took it better than easier than either of us. We had prepared him ahead of time (when your cat’s 21, you pretty much have to), so all he said when we told him was,“That’s OK, Daddy. Can we have a new cat now?”
21? Wow…Stache is only 15…now I feel awful…I don’t want to end her life prematurely. But the missus says Stache is telling her its time. 
Banshee is maybe 13 or 14 now, and besides being overweight seems to be ok. Jet is around 9, and he’s active enough though he has gotten to be more needy than usual in the past few months. Patches is only about 18 months old so shes still in kitten mode, really.
I guess I understand how my wife feels. Banshee has been sick in the past, but not recently. Still if she became so ill she was miserable I’d let her go. (out of all four cats, banshee is the one that loves me to death. She’s pretty much made it clear to the others that I belong to her.)
It’s a rotten hard thing to go through, JR. My condolences to you and Mrs. Roger.
15 is really old age for cats. 21 is like the occasional human who lives to be over 100, it’s possible for some to do it but almost all will die of old age before then. It sounds as if Stache has reached the end of her natural lifespan, and you would be doing her no favors by trying to keep her alive longer. Let her go. I say this from experience, I tried to avoid having a cat put down because I loved her, but I only caused her a lot of unnecessary suffering, and I still feel guilty about it, over 13 years later. Ask yourself if you want to keep Stache around because she’s still enjoying life, or if it’s because you don’t want to feel guilty. Remember the old saying…it’s no kindness to hang a man slowly. It’s no kindness to keep Stache alive if she’s just suffering.
So sorry to hear the news. Stache knows that it is time and she is letting you know. Make your last few days together good ones with extra skritches or whatever she likes best. My four furry overlords will get extra skritches in Stache’s honor.
I’m so sorry, Jolly Roger. It’s been a month today since I had to have my 15 year old kitty put to sleep due to acute renal failure, so I truly understand your pain. It’s excruciating, but it’s the kind and responsible thing to do. It really really sucks, though.
I still cry sometimes - I cried reading this thread - but I’ve been able to laugh when I think of my girl too. My sincerest hopes that you and your wife find your way to the laughter and smiles and happy memories soon.
I know I gave my two kitties extra skritches today!
I’m sorry for your loss. You’re doing the right thing, though.
I guess its hard for me to reconcile the fact that 15 years is pretty old for a cat. Banshee is only maybe 18 monthys younger and she’s ok. If she were ill or hurting she’d let me know. She’s overweight, but when she’s been sick she made no bones about it. Banshhee almost died ten years ago from some blood infection. We were in Germany and I had to take her to a german animal hospital. She obviously survived, but then she got gall stones or something a few years later, and once again had to go through lengthy vet visits. But she’s been ok since.
And I saw Stache today when I was home for lunch…she walked into the kitchen, meowed for me to give her something to eat and then walked off to sleep somewhere. But thats as much as I usually see of her. If she really wants/needs something she goes to Mrs. Jolly Roger. I don’t see the suffering as much as the wife doies which makes me wonder if we’re giving up too easily. But then knowing my wife…she wouldn’t want Stache to be put down unless she was absolutely sure it was for the best. Still, intentionally ending her life…its really hard for me now and when it happens I don’t know if I will be able to live with it easily.
Jolly Roger, you are torturing yourself! I say with all kindness and compassion: knock it off. You’re not doing anyone including Stache, any favors.
Yes, 15 is old for a cat. Yes, your other cat is only a year and a half younger and is fine. But you know what? 85 is old for a human; my MIL is 88, and other than arthritis in her hips, she’s fine. ‘Life span’ is an ‘average’ kind of thing. That holds true for animals as well as people.
If your wife loves Stache (and obviously, she does) and says it’s time to end it, trust her. That’s what spouses do, right? They trust one another.
Yes let Stache go.
Last year our beloved George had to be put down. My husband couldn’t accept it I eventually went behind his back & did it. & I wish I had done it sooner as he was clearly suffering in the end. & while I miss George every day, my husband now appears fine with it.
yes indeedy, it’s certainly mundane and pointless stuff!, According to UNICEF, 24,000 children die each day due to poverty, and here you have people wailing and gnashing their teeth over the death of a cat, (a dog i could understand :)).
you need to get over yourself Spectre… 
Right. We can’t mourn our pets because children are dying of poverty. But how can we mourn children dying of poverty when there are children dying of painful diseases? And how can we mourn children dying of painful diseases when there are even worse things happening in the world every day? :rolleyes:
I know who needs to get over themselves, and it ain’t Spectre.
[moderating]
bettyporkta, that was an official warning from a moderator. This is another official warning, from an administrator. Don’t be a jerk. Whether you think that someone is entitled to love a cat or not, you don’t have to be a jerk about it, and you don’t have to shit in the thread. Do it again, and I’ll start a discussion among the moderation team about your posting privileges. Also, you may NOT tell a mod to “get over yourself” when he’s moderating. If you have a problem with moderation, you may discuss it, civilly, in About This Message Board (ATMB).
Lynn Bodoni
Administrator
[/mod]
Jolly Roger, I’m so sorry for the pain this is causing you and your wife. It is the toughest decision you ever have to make for a pet but if your wife says that the cat knows it is time, then accept that and don’t beat yourself up about it. It doesn’t matter how old Stache is, what matters is that you and your wife can put an end to her suffering.
You still have tomorrow, make that a day all about Stache. Her favourite food, her favourite treats, the toys she likes the most, lots of fuss and attention, or just her favourite place to sleep. Give her whatever she wants, it’s your chance to say goodbye properly before Sunday.
I’ll be thinking of you both.