(((Jolly Roger & Wife & Stache))) I know how absolutely unbelievable the loss of a pet is, especially when we have to make that horrible decision on their behalf. It doesn’t seem real. Guilt is normal following the loss (“Was it really time? What have I done?”), but you need to give it time and remember the pain she was in, and how her quality of life was suffering. She will forgive you.
Jolly: when my beloved fuzzball Aeron went to sleep and never woke up, I realised I was totally fortunate. No pain, no lingering, no wondering if I did the right thing…
I hope that when it it Bob’s turn, I can be as brave as you. He is 13 and still acts like a kitten. He is so sweet that I cannot imagine being without him… but I know the day will come. HUGS
I’m very sorry, Jolly Roger. 
I just went through this too and I still have to remind myself that the privilege of having her in my life was completely worth the terrible suckitude of losing her.
I can’t add to what everybody else has said, Jolly Roger, except to say I’ve gone through this too many damn times myself. You and your wife were good kitty parents, and I’m sure Stache returned your love. Now, go and love on Banshee. You all need each other.
Yes, when I think of even the mundane days with Stache around I realize that she had a long (for a cat) life. And I don’t think she would have traded it for anything. Stache and the wife were close as far as pets go. She was the Queen as we called her, amongst our other cats.
the strays that Isee on the street…I wonder what their life expectancy is? Stache had 15 good years. As a stray I don’t think she would have lasted five. So I hope she is resting in peace. Its hard to believe that she’s gone for me, right now. But I hope that in whatever afterlife she may have she knows that we love and miss her.
I’ve had to put a number of ferrets to sleep. It’s always very sad, but I have never regretted it. My husband was never able to bring himself to be in the room for it until our last ferret, and he was stunned at how fast it happened.
I’ve said this in many of these threads, but I’ll say it again - one of the vets who helped with a previous euthanasia said that it is often the last loving act of an owner to a pet. I’ve seen a pet, owned by people I know, kept alive for far too long because the owners were in denial, and that is so sad to see.
No no, Stache is plenty old. Our dog Cocoa, in fact, was only 6 when we had her put down. She had bone cancer, and it got to the point where she couldn’t even lie down, she was in so much pain. (She’d attempt to sleep standing up.) You just can’t let that sort of thing continue.
My condolences to you in this difficult time.
My condolences. Remember the good times you had with your beloved cat, and be assured that you did the right thing for her at the end, under the circumstances. When and if you’re willing, I know many of us would love to see a picture of Stache here.
I’ve got a few pics in photobucket of her. Here’s one that shows why her name was Stache.
This is Banshee, the 2nd oldest…now oldest I guess.
Finally Patches. This pic was taken a year ago, when we hadn’t really named her. At first we called her “Cocoa” amd “Midget”.
Ah, thanks. Nice kitties! But the last two photos are identical.
My bad. Here is Patches.
I miss Stache still, and it gets hard to imagine she’s gone. But its made me keep a better eye on Banshee. She is only a year or so younger than Stache and she seems to be in good health other than being the “Fat Cat”. But Banshee loves me to death. Since she was a kitten I’ve had her…OI used to feed her from a bottle she was so tiny.
Banshee likes to be left alone as far as the other cats go. She just “tolerates” Jet Jaguar and Patches. But when she was a teeny kitten Stache was the only other cat in the house. Stache kinda mothered her until she became older. I wonder if Banshee misses Stache or knows that she is gone? For that matter, I wonder if Jet Jaguar or Patches do. They are all (the cats) so capable of expressing some emotions, like love, envy, fear, wonder, etc. Do they also feel the loss of a friend or companion?
Yes, cats feel the loss of a friend or companion. When my daughter moved out, all three of the cats in residence missed her. She had raised one of the cats from a kitten, feeding him with a bottle, so he was convinced that she was his mom, and he especially missed her. Eventually, my husband took two of the cats to her new home. Then the remaining cat was inconsolable. She had lost one of her humans AND she’d lost all of her cat buddies. So after a month or so, we went to the Humane Society and adopted two more cats. Sapphire couldn’t stand the kitten, but she likes the older cat. She’s grown to tolerate the kitten, especially since he’s grown into an adult cat, and he’s not quite so likely to pounce on her while she’s getting her beauty sleep in.
I don’t know if cats understand death. But they are capable of missing someone, or other cats. They’ll adjust after a while, especially since they have other cat buddies.
I don’t know if humans ever adjust, though, because we do understand death.
Cats do feel emotion. They may or may not express it in ways we’ll always recognize, but I’m convinced they feel it.
And I think you can expect some changes in the behaviors of your other cats, now that Stache is gone. If she was Alpha Dog in your house, (and may all cats forgive me for putting it that way!) then someone else will step up to the role. Or maybe more than one will try to, and they’ll settle it cat to cat. At some point they’ll find an equilibrium, and all will settle down to some form of normal again.
Hang in there, Roger, and realize that in time, you’ll look back and remember the good times and the things about Stache that made you laugh out loud.
I’m certain cats feel the loss of a friend/companion. If I’m away from the apartment for an hour or two, my kitty Ponch always seems happy enough to see me when I come home. But if I’m gone all day, or even for a night or two, he not only seems overjoyed at my return, but it takes a couple of hours to get him to stop following me around. I’m sure it’s because he feels the ‘loss’ of me, even though it’s only temporary. (I always tell him when I’m going away for more than a little while, but I don’t know how much he understands of what I tell him; I often wonder if he sometimes think I’ve left him for good.)
I’m not sure if Stache was Alpha Cat or Banshee. Stache probably was, but like Banshee she preferred to be left alone by the other cats. Still, they kinda followed her lead in a way. (she was usually the one to demand food, etc…Jet Jaguar would do so, but only after a loooong time.)
Banshee is the oldest now and she likes to be left alone and sleeps most of the time. Jet is the only male, but Patches is the youngest and the most in your face. I wonder…technically Banshee is the new “Queen”…but she values her solitude a lot.
Got home for lunch, found that the clinic called. The wife is on her way there to pick up Stache’s ashes.
I broke down too when we put our cat down of 16 years a couple of months ago, not ashamed about it either. It’s a really hard thing to do but your a good person for not letting your pet suffer. As difficult as it was you’ll be glad you were there for your cat’s last moments.
One thing I was glad to be able to say our cat had a great life, she never knew what it was like to be abused or a neglected pet. From the sounds of it your pet was treated the same way.
The inscription on Stache’s Urn says “Until we meet again on the Rainbow Bridge”. At first I thought maybe Stache was a Viking, but it must be a reference tpo something else. 2 other people I know have mentioned this in regards to Stache during the week. So I looked it up.
But it makes me sad. I miss that old cat. If this meadow exists, I hope that Stache is happy and playing with the others there and has no want or need.
