So, my wife’s brother has some mental problems, and has decided to live in his truck, parked outside a homeless shelter in Washington DC. He has a cell phone, and we send him some money (what we can afford) every few weeks. He is eating at the shelter and supposedly washing up at a local church. We are planning on putting a box of supplies together in the next few days, and I will drop it off to him after work, assuming I can find him.
He mentioned that this shoes have worn out, but he already has a pair of warm boots. What are a good pair of warm walking shoes?
He is sleeping in his truck, that no longer runs. Please recommend a sleeping bag that would be appropriate for a Washington DC winter.
Whate are some other things that may come in handy for him?
He is extremely adverse to seeking medical help, so we have to tread gently. But I think that if I drop some appropriate things off he would make use of them.
Baby wipes or wet wipes. They’re good both for cleaning the self when you can’t get a shower and your stuff when you can’t afford (to buy or to store) a bunch of cleaning supplies. About the only thing they can’t clean is glass; everything else they’re fantastic for.
At least as important as a sleeping bag is a ground pad to lie on. This provides necessary insulation from below, which a sleeping bag will not do. For this application, I’d suggest a thick closed-cell foam pad, which is (comparatively) cheap, sturdy, and effective. If he needs a little more softness underneath (and not everyone does), that’s easy to add with a quilt or somesuch.
For maximum warmth, I’d suggest a mummy-style sleeping bag. Some people find this design awkward because they can’t spread their legs, but the alternative (rectangular) is a lot harder to keep cold air out of. A good synthetic fill would be the best choice. Note that temperature ratings are provided by the manufacturers and do not adhere to a universal standard.
A light knit cap (toque, watch cap, ski cap) just for sleeping could be helpful, as could something for the neck, such as a dickey.
Baby powder may be helpful for hygiene and comfort.
Maybe a small first aid kit
Misc toiletries like deodorant, toothpaste, etc.
A flashlight and a few spare batteries
Lots of little plastic grocery bags, some ziploc bags, small kitchen trash bags.
[ul]
[li]Socks[/li][li]Underwear[/li][li]2x Long Johns and Tops - you really appreciate these when you’re outside a lot in winter[/li][li]Walking Shoes - Walmart has a good pair of waterproof lightweight winter walking boots for $60. Good deep treads for outside but lightweight for lots of walking.[/li][li]gyro chargeable flashlight - no batteries required[/li][li]monthly bus pass[/li][li]cheese and cracker snack packs, etc, so he can munch when he feels like it (or trade them)[/li][li]duct tape![/li][/ul]
Also note that the temperature rating is the temperature at which the bag will keep you alive, and not where you will be comfortable. So, I camp in the winter in the mid-Atlantic where really cold weather is in the mid-teens to the 20s with a bag rated to zero degrees. I am pretty comfortable with that and a self-inflating Thermarest mattress. In fact, I use that bag in the early Fall, when the night-time temperature might be in the 40s and I am still comfortable (IOW, I’m not over-heated).
BTW, you can buy fleece inserts for bags (!$14 at WalMart) which will add about 10 degrees protection.
We have repeatedly offered to take him to, and pay for, counseling and or medication. When we bring the subject up, he becomes verbally abusive and hangs up. He thinks we are all in on a plan to “ruin his life”. We even offered to find a place in a shelter for him closer to us, or put in him contact with social services so we would have nothing to do with his treatment. If we bring up anything about medication, therapy, or treatment, we do not hear from him for a few weeks.
He’s been in institutions a several times over the last few years, but since he does not threaten to harm himself or others, they have a few days to try to get him on a medication that works and then he can sign himself out. He typically finds some disagreeable side effect, stops taking the medication, and continues on a downward spiral. So yeah, the system sucks.
At this point, all we we are trying to do is make sure he has the supplies that may help him make it through winter.
And Whynot, if you feel that you can talk him into getting therapy, instead of just “dropping something off in a cardboard box”, I’d be happy to give you his number.
Thirded. Tests have shown that manufacturer-ratings for comfort and “extreme” should be read like the comfort temp is the one you can actually sleep in*, while the extreme rating is best left unnoticed.
there are huge individual differences to temperature tolerance.
The sleeping pad is a great idea. The simple closed-cell foam ones are very cheap.
My main tools for staying warm (camping) were a hat, warm non-cotton socks, and poly longjohns. The poly longjohns used to be expensive, but they’re not anymore. I got my son some at Target.
Another good way to stay warm is to hunker down in your sleeping bag and eat something sugary. Gets the ol’ furnace burning!
Whose? Mine? I wasn’t being snarky, I was being sincere. You made in clear in the OP that you’ve discussed, and he’s refused, medical help. So be it. Your interest now is in keeping him alive and as comfortable as possible with the material goods and family support you can provide for him, and I think that’s completely admirable. I was saying that the quote I posted, Myself’s comment about counseling, was not helpful because you’re looking for material recommendations.
If you think my tone was accusatory, I suggest it’s your own guilt talking, not mine. I think you’re doing exactly the right thing. I don’t think people should be badgered into therapy against their will unless they’re a clear danger to others.
I apologize for taking your post as being snarky. It has been a very stressful issue for us, and we have run into many people who do not understand the difficulties and limitations of the system in place for mental health in this country.
The bottom line is that you can’t force treatment on someone who is not being threatening, even if it would be for their own good. Which is how it should be.
