You know, this is the type of thing I do when I think people are eavesdropping on me and my friends. Satanic sacrifice, masturbation, and other conversational topics meant to shock or offend also come up.
Must… Control… Fist… Of… Death!!!
Relax, Matey. garius was just joking. We all know that it’s John Grisham, not JK Rowling, who wrote Hamlet.
You know, it happens in every generation. An aquaintence and ‘Kinks’ fan was driving, as a favor, his girl friends brother and gfb’s friend somewhere. He pops in a tape and “You Really Got Me” starts coming out of the speakers. The GFB listens for a bit and then says:
"Oh, wow. They stole that song from ‘Van Halen’. "
Drivers foot stamps downward, LOCKS Up the brakes, and the car comes to a skidding stop at an angle 20 degrees away from being straight. The driver then leaned over, popped open the passenger door & yelled:
“Get Out! Get Out Of The Car, Now!!! I don’t care…GET OUT!!!”
(…he was Not a Van Halen fan)
Good story! I try to hold back, but I also am a self-appointed Guardian of Culture at times.
You mean it’s not E.B. White’s sequel to Charlotte’s Web?
My mother, god bless her soul, went with me to go see the Two Towers when it came out. I knew she’d seen the first one so I wasn’t too concerned with giving her the summary before we went in, even though I knew she’d never read the books.
Well, on the way home we were discussing the movie and it was becoming perfectly clear from her questions that she had had absolutely NO idea what was going on for most of the movie. She confused Sauron and Sauramon. She didn’t get that Sam and Frodo were on a separate quest than the rest of the gang. She was confused by the Ents, etc. But the absolute best was when, as I was trying to explain that Legolas was an elf she asked me “Is that why he was so short?”
“Short?” I asked “That was Gimli, he’s a dwarf. Legolas is the tall blond one with the bow.”
“Oh!” she says. “I thought he was the short one and that’s why his name was ‘Leg-Less’!” 
I took an aquaintance into Waterstones yesterday. She dragged her feet round the shop complaining and making my eyes glaze over with her stupid comments:
“I don’t read long books” and “Old books don’t make any sense” were a couple of gooduns.
I picked up Animal Farm. She says “I haven’t read that, it’s crap”
I picked up Chamber of Secrets. She says “I hate Harry Potter. It’s a baby book”. I ask her if she’s read any Harry Potter books. She hasn’t.
I picked up The Gunslinger by Stephen King. She does this huge sigh, rolls her eyes and said “Haven’t you grown out of reading horror stories yet?”
I picked up Pickwick Papers. She says “Who’s that by?” I told her Charles Dickens. All of a sudden her face brightens and she says “Dickens! Hey I’ve heard of him”.
She also took the time to inform me that I only read books to look clever, and that it’s not normal for someone of my age. She is lucky I didn’t stone her to death with half price paperbacks.
On a different occassion the same girl said one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard. I recommended Tolkien to her, she turned it down on the grounds that ‘it’s not real so what’s the point?’.
Someone sitting in front of me opening night for FotR said this. I laughed so hard I think I pulled something.
I was at the Frederick County , Mayland premire showing of Evita. While waiting in line I mentioned to some youngsters it was an opera.
Their mouths fell open.
I really don’t think that is that hard to do. The names are similar enough - to some extent its like reading War and Peace where the first time through good character notes help. And confusing the Witch King with Sauron isn’t hard to do either - it was a long time before I realized that the Witch King and Sauron weren’t the same person - and I hear that PJ went back and reshot the Witch King stuff because it wasn’t clear in the movie either.
This didn’t happen in a bookstore, but it involved books.
One of our secretaries said she didn’t know why anyone would waste the time/money going to the Louvre when you could just as easily see all those paintings in books.
Now, a bookstore story:
Coupla years ago I was interested in the Thomas Jefferson biography that had won a National Book Award. I didn’t have all the pertinent info, but I figgered, hey, National Book Award, they’ll know what I’m talking about if I ask for it. Well, the guy in Barnes & Noble didn’t know about it, but he offered to help me find it. After we loped over to the big American History section, I had gently to steer him away from the “Civil War” shelves where he initially (and purposefully) started looking.
To the bookstore’s credit, when he finally got stumped he asked a manager, who looked at him for a long tired moment and said “Yes, the Ellis book, which is on the special display table devoted to National Book Award finalists. I’ll show her, but perhaps you should come along too…”
Perhaps it should be an unwritten mandation for movies that are based on classic (or modern) books to, before the movie begins, let the viewing audience know what the movie is based upon - A BOOK.
But of course, people don’t like rules.
What, you needed notes to tell the Bolkonskys from the Brubetskoys from the Bezukhovs? What’s wrong with you?
Of course not! Its not even a book. Everybody knows its a Mel Gibson movie. Duh! :rolleyes:
You mean like the “Based on <title> by <author” that appears in the credits of most of em?
Bad, Lynn! No chocolate for you! 
You’re right, though.
neutron star -
I ain’t the world’s smartest doper. Maybe I need to be culled.
Here I go, admitting my stupidity again. I don’t get it. So, in the Louvre, the paintings are bigger. And… of better… quality? What is so laughably inferior about the books?
Heh heh . . . I wanna go into a Christian bookstore after Gibson’sPassion is released, pick up a Bible, and say loudly to my companion, “Hey! Look! They made a book out of that new Mel Gibson film!”