Overweight children -- your best tips/websites?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Speaking as a kid who was turned off exercise in middle school because PE was socially traumatic and the coach was a festering asshole . . .

1.) Get rid of the TV and the computer or drastically limit the time he can spend in front of them. No more than an hour a day.

2.) Get rid of the soda, fruit juices, and sports drinks. Stick to milk and water.

3.) Indulge him in whatever healthy physical activities he’s interested in.
It took me until my early 30s to be comfortable doing physical things because I’d been teased and mocked so much during my childhood. The things that got me active again were the things I loved doing as a kid or was interested in as an adult - bicycling, yoga, swimming, racketball, gardening, indoor rock climbing, scuba, archery, fencing, target shooting, and other stuff. A lot of that list are things I’ve only tried once and would love to get back to, time and money allowing.

If you have the financial resources, get him a bicycle. Get him a Wii. Get him something cool and active that he will enjoy. And if at all possible, join in with him. If he’s the only person doing whatever, he’ll know it’s about his weight and not about living a healthier life.

It’s late in the year for this, but next summer, consider getting him a summer pass to the nearest water park, and find a way for him to get out there at least once a week. Send him with his own cooler of fruit and healthy snacks, and let him run around to his heart’s content.

If you look at Weight Watchers, find a men’s group - a lot of the branches now have meetings primarily for men. It would be so much more comforting for him to hang out with a bunch of guys than his mom and a bunch of women.

Please, please, please, don’t send him to a “fattie” camp. Send him to an active camp that stresses a healthy diet. They’re out there. Find something that interests him with a schedule and stresses healthy diet.

Good luck.

22

I say this as a former fat kid: if the problem is bullying, please get him excused from organized sports in school, and into some non-team activity instead. Team sports, when you aren’t among the best, is the killer of all self-esteem.

Maybe you can start by asserting that YOU need to get into better shape and ask him for help? Maybe he can keep you company on early-morning bike-rides or something?

Alternatively, a pet that needs exercise? A dog can do wonders for your shape AND your loneliness issues.

23

If you have some kind of game console try getting Dance Dance Revolution or Wii -Fit. They’re both fun and more like a game than exercise. Do it as a family.

Start taking long walks with him after dinner.

When I was a chubby 8th grader I went from 155 lbs to 117 lbs by the time I entered high school and I didn’t try to lose weight. What happened is I found a friend who lived on the other end of my neighborhood and I’d walk to her house (about 1/4 mile away) and back several times a day. Having a best friend also meant that we rode bikes and played games outside instead of me sitting inside with a book or in front of the TV.

When it comes to food I keep my philosophy really simple. Don’t eat/limit anything that doesn’t look like where it came from. Doritoes don’t look like corn. Potato chips don’t look like potatoes, strawberry pop tarts don’t look like strawberries. White bread doesn’t look like wheat. Sugar doesn’t look like sugar cane. Salami doesn’t look like a fresh cut of pork or beef. You get the idea. Limit or eliminate most processed packaged foods as much as possible and you’ll have a big head start.

Good luck. I’ve been fighting the weight battle since I was a little kid. It sucks.

24

I almost preemptively recommended against Wii / Wii Fit in case someone suggested those. I wouldn’t do it. You will find people who have lost weight with them BUT if you’re doing things horribly wrong then you can lose weight just walking to the end of your driveway and back once a day and/or cutting out a couple sodas per day. These are not effective tools to help in living a healthy lifestyle. He may get jazzed about Wii Fit for a little while but eventually the Wii will be counterproductive in that a few months down the road he’s just going to be zoning out in front of it playing Zelda or Mario. He is not an old man or a morbidly obese middle-aged person who needs to be tricked into doing the minimum amount of physical movement in order to see results. He is an 11 year old boy who is capable of so much more than Wii Fit can offer. To settle for that would be selling him short.

25

Wow, what a lot of great answers! Thanks a bunch, I really appreciate everyone’s input!

To expand on our situation a bit: We live in Germany, and he’s only in school for lunch once a week (all-day schools are the exception here). I don’t care for sodas, so I never have them in the house and the kids can only drink them on special occasions or when we eat out (no cola after lunchtime). My son doesn’t much like fruit juices, so he mostly drinks water or ice tea. Again because I don’t like them, I only very rarely buy snacks to have in the house, and because I will eat it until it’s gone and then lick the wrapper, I don’t keep chocolate or other candy on hand.

As far as screen time goes, we have just started enforcing a limit of 45 minutes a day during the week, from either TV, computer, or Nintendo DS. The kids were a bit shocked to realize that we actually meant it this time!

My son’s been taking a weekly tennis lesson for a year or so and likes it, and just asked if he could join a handball team with a school friend, which would also be once a week. (This request made us dance the dance of euphoria once he left the room, needless to say!) He walks to and from school each day, about 10 minutes each way, and has PE twice a week.

BTW, the teasing he had experienced in PE before is no longer an issue. The sports teacher at his elementary school is a prize asshole who, in an ideal world, would not only be barred from any employment that brought him into even theoretical contact with children, but would also get a regular pummeling just on principle. He fostered a culture of achievement or loserdom in sports, and if I ever meet him in a dark alley … okay, I probably wouldn’t actually do anything, but should the opportunity arise to shoot him a scathing glare, you can bet I won’t pass it up.

His nutrition is where I see the greatest room for improvement. He barely eats vegetables, doesn’t eat enough fruits, and eats way too much meat, especially sausage and salami. He has gourmet tastes and is open to trying new things, so that’s an advantage. He hadn’t been eating breakfast during the week, but he just started asking for scrambled eggs in the morning, which elates me.

We have a dog, but getting anyone in the family but me to walk him is an exercise in pushing string. A better route to activity is our Wii Fit, which is the ultimate human achievement, IMHO. I love the way it harnesses our competition to beat each other’s records – at last, a good use for sibling rivalry!

BTW, I used the words ‘shouting distance of obese’ deliberately. He inherited his stocky figure from his papa, and even if he were an Olympic athlete, he could never be lean. Still, he is definitely overweight, and his BMI places him just in the obese range. The problem is, I’m aware that BMIs aren’t as accurate for children as for adults, and as I say, he is built on stocky lines.

My husband has bad memories of being placed on a different diet as a teenager than the rest of his family, and I have spent my adult life fighting to get my mother’s disapproval out of my head, so I really really want to avoid our doing the same thing to our son.

I love the advice to keep everything as positive and forward-looking as possible! I think that’s exactly the way to approach this.

One last thing – what exactly is the C25K program? Okay, I understand that it stands for ‘Couch to 5K,’ but what is it? I’m intrigued!

Long post, sorry!

26

I like the suggestion to get him involved in some kind of cool physical activity like horseback riding or fencing or martial arts. You could start going hiking and explore the nature around you. The trick is not to teach him that fat is something he needs to worry and obsess about, but to train him in healthy habits. Get him involved in a physical activity that he wants to do and voluntarily spends his own time doing, and he won’t need to spend time worrying about “burning calories”. He can worry about “burning calories” later as an adult, right now what you want him thinking about is how fun X sport/game/activity is and how he can’t wait to get back to it.
On the same note, I would never, never, never talk about diets or eating plans or Weight Watchers or Atkins or blah blah blah. I would just quietly fill the kitchen with whole grains and veggies, fruits and lean proteins. I would throw out anything that comes in a box or a factory-sealed wrapper. Don’t make it a sudden and dramatic thing that’s presented like “the whole family is going on a diet because Billy is fat”, just gradually improve everyone’s healthy eating habits. The last thing the poor kid needs is a lecture on how fat he is from his own family, and even though I know that’s not what you intend, it may feel that way to him.

The long and short of it is, I would not suggest presenting him with information on diet and exercise, that’s only going to make him self-conscious and embarrassed. Just begin working on integrating healthy habits seamlessly into his life, and get him involved in something he actually enjoys and can excel at. Many homeschooling advocates talk about how kids are trained to hate math and other subjects because we present them as “work” and outside activities are “play”-- unpleasant things you are forced to do vs fun things you choose to do. Running on a treadmill, swimming laps, walks-for-exercise, those are all work. They’re boring, tiring, no kid wants to do them, and making him is a good way to teach him to avoid physical activity at all costs. Competing in martial arts, horses, hiking, gymnastics, water polo, chasing a dog around the yard, none of those are work, but all burn calories, and all are diversions that get his mind off snacking and what’s on TV.

27

Hey, simulpost! Almost!

I totally agree with you that the Wii Fit isn’t a substitute for the activity that kids should be getting every day just running around playing or whatever. I see it as more of a replacement for some of the zombie time in front of a screen, as well as a family activity. We sometimes do Wii Sports tournaments, or fight to beat each other’s scores on Wii Fit. The boxing on the Wii Fit is seriously strenuous. It’s also useful as a measure of progress when you do the body test at the beginning of each session.

BTW, just in thinking about all this after I posted this topic, I made salmon filets with lemon juice and olive oil with a side of broccoli tonight instead of the pasta that I might have. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, right? :slight_smile:

28

Oh, reading your last message–it looks like he’s on his way to more healthy habits, and that you’re already doing pretty well. Just keep the sausages and salami out of the house, and start loading up on the veggies. You might also try hot cereals for breakfast, instead of eggs. Good luck, I wish I’d developed better habits as an eleven-year-old so that I wouldn’t have to work so hard to change them as an adult.

29

Oh, I agree. And I know what you’re saying about the fact that watermelon has vitamins—I didn’t reply to it because I willingly concede and I thought that was obvious. I’m just saying some fruits are better than others. I know this because, uh, my doc made me read up on the glycemic index, fearing I was becoming insulin resistant and heading for type 2.

I’m just saying that I think we’re really out of touch with our food and not entirely by our own fault. Sorry to use the royal “we” but my initial experience with nutrition guidelines was awful and I assume many out there are like me.

The original “pyramid,” of “food groups,” was worthless. The idea that we have to eat lots of veggies, for instance—well, lettuce and potatoes are both vegetables, so you could have one person eating salads and be thin as a rail but another eating his share in all potatoes…?

Holy shit, Atkins lopped off the base of the pyramid, didn’t he?

I’m so glad they finally dumped that in favor of something—well, intelligent. IIRC (I can’t find a cite) it was Kellogg or one of the other cereal dudes who pushed the original pyramid but hey, he wanted to sell cereal.

Other random musings about nutrition:

*Is bread good for you or not? According to what I read about the glycemic index, one major culprit in modern life is the refinement of food. A loaf of bread used to come from stone ground wheat, so it would have all the bran etc. in it, and that’s what kept you satisfied. The digestive system was kept busy and the energy was released over time as the nutritious part was liberated from its husk, bran, or whatever.

Now, we have all these fine flours—“Enriched wheat flour” is really an indication that they put back vitamins that they took out in the refinement process. The energy is released too fast and it shoots through your tract, making you hungry again sooner. Much of what we eat literally isn’t “wholesome” any more.

*Potatoes?

The notion that “all of the potato’s nutrients” are found in the skin is an urban legend. While the skin does contain approximately half of the total dietary fiber, more than 50% of the nutrients are found within the potato itself. The cooking method used can significantly impact the nutrient availability of the potato.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato#Nutrition

At least that’s some good news. I’ve always wondered how Irish peasants managed not to be horribly malnourished from eating the same thing day after day—or maybe they were? Or maybe they had other foods to supplement?

*I’ve heard that when you slice a strawberry, it immediately begins losing its vitamin C. Wikipedia’s got nothing. Maybe that’s UL?

*I’ve got to think that my mom’s “Boil that corn till it’s dead” approach left it devoid of vitamins and minerals. Why didn’t we all keel over from malnourishment? I remain clueless on this.

*Orange juice is good for you. Er, wait, leave in the pulp and leave out the sugar.

To summarize: IMO nutrition is a HELL of a lot more complicated than was originally presented to me. I was hoping another doper would be along to confirm or refute the GI aspect of watermelon. I don’t know any diabetics personally; I wonder if that’s on their no-no list or if, as ITZ indicates, it isn’t that big of a deal.

30

C25K is a program for getting people to run 5K over a period of nine or more weeks. It’s very cleverly planned. The program itself is outlined on coolrunning.com, and you can download all kinds of free podcasts to listen to while you run from c25k.com. Enjoy!

31

And here is the current C25K thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=483342

32

Has there ever been a Doper who doesn’t believe their kid is gifted? :rolleyes:

But anyway, if your kid is even average intelligence, he should be able to understand that eating junk food and/or overeating is what is making him fat. At 11, he should be able to understand that 3500 calories = 1 pound of fat. If he’s as bright as you say, he should have no problem reading labels and doing the math in his head.

33

Because no one of even average intelligence has ever been overweight? The things you learn on the internets!

34

There are actually several Dopers who have kids who are challenged, including a recent thread on autistic kids, so I’m guessing, yes - there are Dopers who don’t believe their kid is gifted. :rolleyes:

35

I’ve never met a parent, period, who didn’t believe their child was exceptionally smart. Yes it’s kinda of funny/annoying in that they can’t all be right, but it is by no means exclusive to this message board.

36

I have never believed my kid was gifted. That’s because I don’t have a kid. :smiley: But if I did…well, multiple intelligences and all, I’m sure he/she would be…I would work tirelessly to find a loophole! :smack:

@the OP: Ah hell, Germany?! Meat, potatoes, and cabbage? Jump right in to correct my ignorance if that isn’t the case. Well I’d get out there and scour the neighborhood for fresh (or at least frozen) veggies and fruits. I suspect that those who are stuck with a bland diet would just kill for fresh fruits and veggies. Sometimes all you have to do is let them try it and the body will cry, “More, please!”

OK, back to our story. I did WW for awhile and lost a lot of weight. Our leader mentioned a story about a go-getter type who declared all-out war on fat. She excised it completely from her diet, or as nearly so as is possible. And with the product offerings out there today (at least in the U.S.), it’s more nearly possible than ever.

I’ve tried fat free versions of things like Thousand Island dressing. All I can say is, ACK! Fat has a texture, a flavor, something…if you enjoy that dressing in its full-bore version, fat-free ain’t gonna cut it by a long shot. Reduced-fat, maybe. But one saving grace is that you can reduce the amount (portion control) if only the full flavor will do.

OK, back to this woman who deleted fat. She read the labels and if it had any fat, she didn’t buy it. She lost weight, sure—but then her hair started falling out.

The body needs fat, IOW, for normal functioning. IIRC there are some vitamins that are fat-soluble so if you get zero fat, your body can’t absorb them. And, IIRC, the body won’t burn fat if it “thinks” there must be a famine going on because dayum, what happened to the fat we used to enjoy? You need fat to burn fat…you can lose weight by burning muscle but that isn’t where we want to go.

The hard thing is that it’s all about moderation and that’s not something I’d figure a pre-teen can handle. Hell, I’m chronologically an adult and I struggle with it. Balance: appropriate amounts of calories, protein, carbs, fats, fiber…exercise, sleep.

I’d also look at when you eat. Sorry no cite, but I heard that Julia Child was not about counting calories etc.—she advocated enjoying your meal but she was a fiend about her “No snacking” policy. WW taught me that: a few chips here, half a candy bar there, it all adds up. If the OP considers the cessation of snacking unimaginable, then let’s go with some healthy choices for it. And if possible or necessary, “schedule” snacks so that after school, he can have an apple or some reasonably healthy choice.

I say this too because few families eat together. Junior grabs some pizza and goes up to his room to listen to music while sis has a date and will be going out to eat. In busy households, parents are probably glad to know that the kid has managed to forage for something and isn’t hungry, but in the OP’s case, it could be that the kid is gorging on all the wrong things.

Also, OP, consider the emotional elements. If he’s taunted, does he run home for a bowl of ice cream as comfort food? Is he upset because the “love of his life” rejected him? Are there bad eating patterns already in the house, e.g. being a little too fond of going out to eat? Other traumas, like the shaming mentioned in the OP, that he may not have attained closure on? Look at the problem holistically and attack the components.

37

Have you considered that by losing control and binge eating until you’re licking wrappers, you may be modeling disordered, obsessive eating habits and your son is picking up on that?

Who is buying him all this unhealthy, highly salted, highly processed fattening foods?

38

Project of the Day: learn to multi-quote. However, today is already full, so … Project of Another Day. :stuck_out_tongue:

Thanks for your very helpful insight. Removing the snark, you’re of course correct that the food in the house is put here by the parents, primarily me. I do avoid many common pitfalls, as ticked off above: we don’t keep sodas, snacks such as chips and pretzels, or candy on hand. I didn’t mention this, but what bread we have is bought fresh, not processed sandwich bread. I don’t take the kids out for fast food more than once about every two weeks. We don’t eat desserts regularly.

The standard evening meal here is called Abendbrot (literally: evening bread). Slices of fresh bread, butter, cold meats, and cheeses. That’s why there’s salami and sausages on hand as one of our staples. (The sausages are the sort that one spreads or slices, not the kind that is fried or grilled, if that makes a difference.) Definitely high-fat, definitely high-salt, perhaps less processed than the American equivalent.

‘Binge eating?’ Good heavens. That’s reading a bit more into my comment than reality bears up. I have an unfortunate tendency towards stress eating, and knowing this about myself, I don’t keep trigger foods in the house. I’m snickering now at the mental image of myself sprawled on the kitchen floor, face sticky with chocolate smears, surrounded with licked-clean wrappers.

And I’m sorry if I put your back up by describing him as scary-smart, but it’s the truth. It hasn’t been a primrose path for him, as the school system here is all about working with kids that conform to the ‘norm’ and ignoring or treating with suspicion anyone who doesn’t fit into the box, but that’s a subject for another thread …

39

If you bought all the stereotypes, you could believe that we couldn’t possibly have weight problems here, what with all the dancing around the maypole to the music of the oompah band we do and all! :smiley:

German food is definitely more varied than one might think, and one thing that gives us a leg up here is that convenience foods are more difficult to find and fresh food is easier.

One little change I made last night was to call the kids down to dinner before it was quite ready and put some yellow kiwis and spoons in front of them. I’m thinking of making this a regular thing: apple slices, melon, kiwi, whatever, just to get them started with fresh fruit, and make sure it gets into them while they’re hungry. I’d love to do the same thing with raw vegetables, but they simply don’t eat them, and it bothers me to throw out good food.

I’m aware of the problems in restricting fat, particularly for children – fat is satisfying and carries flavor, as well as being essential to a healthy diet. Sounds like the lady you heard about learned that the hard way!

As for the emotional element, I think that’s what got this tipped over into problem territory in the first place. My son had a dreadful time in elementary school, particularly in the third grade, and had to deal with teasing from other boys in sports and pressure from his primary teacher and the stupid sports teacher. We finally awoke to the extent of the problem and switched his school. His weight went up as he was healing from the emotional damage. Now he’s emotionally stronger and has gained more confidence in himself, and my husband and I are feeling that it’s time to get his physical self onto a good track, with the teen years looming ominously over us all.

I can’t thank you all enough for your kindness in contributing your time and thoughts here! Just by putting this down in black and white and thinking about it with a broader perspective, I’m starting to get heartened by how much we’re already doing right and where the potential for healthy change lies. I really love the ideas about moving towards a positive, fun goal and letting the energy from that pull us forward. Thinking back on it, my brother was a skinny, slight fellow until late highschool, when he got into weightlifting and bodybuilding. He did well in a few college competitions and is still quite the hardbody. I should call him and talk to him about this …

40

Just wanted to say it sounds like you’re doing a great job already and it’s lovely to hear that you’re looking for a way to positively frame this for your child.

As an overweight child, I was forever being put on various diets and being denied foods that everyone else in the household was allowed. Result? I would steal those foods and eat them in secret. And my self-esteem was zero because my parents approval of me revolved around what the scales said, rather than who I was as a person.

So it’s great to hear you’re wanting to make changes that the entire household will participate in, rather than making your son feel singled out.

Just one thought I have - do you involve him in the cooking? He’s old enough to start learning a few recipes and I have heard that a great way to get a child to eat new foods is to involve them in the cooking process.

Another thought is a vegetable garden - do you have one? It’s another way to get kids interested in a variety of vegetables.