I’m very sorry, I’ve been there too and I know the pain. If it helps at all, you did the right thing.
I disagree with that author because I don’t see it as them taking years of our lives. They way I see it is that every one blesses me with it’s love and companionship for the time it has on earth. Also, because I work in dog rescue and see so many discarded (at best) or tortured (at worst), I have a little bit of superstition, thinking that maybe loving the animals I can love makes some tiny amount of karmic retribution for those that are harmed by my fellow man. It’s kind of the typical rescue worker angst: you can’t save them all. I cope with that by being extra loving and kind to those I can help and absolutely cherishing the ones I bring home for myself.
It’s quite a comfort to realise that so many people are so sympathetic and take the time to listen and respond with kind words.
At the moment I’m still in a bit of denial thinking that Titus isn’t really dead but will come back home in a day or two and although the logical part of me knows I did the right thing, the emotional part thinks that I let him down and murdered him. I know I will get past this and the hurt will diminish in time but at the moment it’s still quite bad.
I can understand why people don’t want any more pets after losing one but the joy that they bring and hopefully the positive difference we can make to their lives makes it worth it to me.
We already have two other labs so there are no new dogs planned in the near future unfortunately. Rest assured our remaining two are getting extra love and attention.
When we euthanized our cat last year (she was 18 with thyroid and kidney disease and had just had a stroke), I stood petting her and contemplated this exact idea: that I was murdering her. Or literally, the vet was, but it was on my command. It is a heavy emotional burden and a horrible responsibility. It’s part of the pet owning experience that weak people can’t face.
The simple fact that you made the decision based on his quality of life, authorized the act, witnessed it and held him as it was done (I assume) demonstrates that you are strong and capable of setting your own desires aside despite intense pain. It’s the epitome of a loving act. Pet ownership consists not only of food, vetting and play but also delivering the animal gently into the arms of god when the time is right. You’re a good person.
I regularly have dreams where my pets who have died are back. Sometimes there’s nonsensical dream “logic” like how we thought s/he had died, but whoa, they didn’t and they’re back! It wont even be the focus of the dream, just a small thing that makes it feel more “real”, y’know?
You were lucky to have Titus. And Titus was lucky to have you. And part of him will live on in your memories and love.
I am sorry the lost of your beloved pet. I lost my hearing dog about 5 years to cancer , I had to put him down . Yes is does suck seeing a beloved dog die right in front of you .
There is nothing else in this world like losing a beloved pet. It just hurts so much! The best you can do is take solace that you gave a dog a very good and long life, the best kind a dog could hope for.
I lost my hearing dog about 5 years to cancer , I had to put him down . Yes is does suck seeing a beloved dog die right in front of you .