Page 64 of "Lisey's Story," I Give Up (Spoilers possible. In the first 64 pgs.)

I’m on the road on business in Toledo and believe me there’s not a lot to do here, so I went to the mall to buy a new belt and figured I’d have dinner at a restaurant there. To have something to read while I ate alone, I bought Stephen King’s “Lisey’s Story.”

Now, I have read some pretty bad books. I read “Hannibal.” I read “A Painted House.” I read “Amsterdam.” I even read a Clive Cussler book once. (I can’t remember which one, and does it really matter?) But folks, I got just 64 pages into “Lisey’s Story” and just fucking gave up. It is not worth the effort to continue turning the pages and actually expend the energy to move my eyes across the words.

In just 64 pages King has managed to trot out everything that makes his recent books suck (spoilers follow):

  1. The book is about the wife of a Maine-based writer, and the big event in the book’s first 64 pages is an incident where the famous Maine-based writer is nearly killed but survives. Anyone know a famous Maine-based writer who was nearly killed but survived? Yes, Steve-O is STILL writing, over and over and over, about the time he got hit by a truck. (In the book it’s not a traffic accident but the parallel is pretty obvious.)

Look, Steve, see your fucking therapist again or something. I’m sure getting run over wasn’t exactly as fun as a big jar of Smarties but you’ve told us all how bad it sucked and ruined a few books already. We don’t need to hear it anymore.

  1. The book’s main character, Lisey, a widow, keeps doing that Stephen King thing where she uses personal inwords in her inner monologue to an extent not used by any normal human. In Lisey’s case she likes “smucking” as a swear word. “Smucking” is used about three times a page. If I read two more pages of “smucking this” and “smucking that” I’ll scream.

Just to see if he’d get out of this I randomly chose four later pages: 140, 204, 311 and 445 (Pocket Books premium paperback edition, U.S.) and the word “smucking” or “Smuck” appears on all four.

  1. Even in the first 64 pages he’s already trotting old the King Stock Characters. The Maine Writer. The Surprisingly Resilient Wife. The Irredeemably Nasty Relative. The Snooty Unlikeable Prig. I expect that it’s only a matter of time before he trots out the magical retard and the mystical Negro.

Fuck this. If anyone’s in Toledo you can have my copy.

Here’s let try page, uhhhh, 548… yes, she starts to say “smucking” but catches herself. Fuck you, Steve.

With a word like “smucking,” the book’s got to be good.

His affinity for profanity got to me eventually. Sometimes, he was like a little kid who realized that using swear words doesn’t automatically make your book crap. I guess, by this point, he’s got to start using his own made up ones.

And god, the magical retarded character…obnoxious. Also, the uneducated hick bullies, the bullied fat kid, the bullied nerdy kid…

That’s about the exact page where I came to the same conclusion and returned the book to the library.

I lost my copy somehow… hardback book, about 3 days after I started it.

Never really tried to find it, either.

Shouldn’t that be “Smuck you, Steve.”?

Me too, page 64 or 65, and also because of the smucking.

I wonder if it would help to skim the book and scratch through the smucking (and the bool-ya that comes later). I like King’s stock characters. They’re comfortable, familiar. Many people who’ve managed to finish the book say it’s worth the trouble. I’d like to read the damn thing.

The smucking part was annoying but I did like both Lisey’s and Scott’s character. Although I’m sure it has some parallels to King’s accident and near death, I don’t think it was out of place in the story. I thougt it was worth finishing- although after plugging through Dreamcatcher (for which I think all who do should receive the reader’s equivalent to a purple heart), I have to admit I’m looking for any good points in his later works. I will say this is my favorite of the books he’s published in the last few years (or anything after Wizard and The Glass ).

Hm…is this worthy of a salute or a slap with a carp? Gotta think on it…

That was my laugh out loud moment of the day.

A salute, definitely. God, I love the Dope. :slight_smile: