Never mind Ferguson, Missouri! What is this world coming to when you can’t trust a panda? Ai Hin, a panda at China’s Chengdu Research Base, apparently caught on that she would be treated like a queen if she were pregnant and so faked it to get all the goodies – air conditioning, extra rations. Story here.
Oh, Deception. Thy name is Panda.
Forgot to add the obligatory link to the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding.
See, this is what happens when you have a socialized veterinary system. It gets abused by animals with no sense of personal responsibility.
You know I always thought those pandas looked shifty!
Just after we break-up for the umthteen time, a manipulative ex-girlfriend guilted me into going over to her place while she did the pregnancy test, which was negative, of course. Then she wanted to go out for drinks to “celebrate” and presumably have me come back to her place.
Little did I know that I could have just sent over bamboo and buns. You learn things from pandas everyday.
I agree. They’re obviously trying to conceal their identities with the black spots around their eyes, like a mask.
I also don’t trust waxwings, yellow headed blackbirds, and, to a lesser extent, racoons for the same reason.
It seems like pandas will go to almost any lengths to avoid actually reproducing. “We can’t help being cute. We just want to go extinct, dammit! How would you feel if you had to eat nothing but bamboo all day?”
I get irrationally angry over their refusal to make Panda babies. From the article, fertile for 3 days a year, pregnancies last from 80 to 200 days, and a frightfully high infant mortality rate? WTF, go extinct already!
Lucky for them, I have absolutely no impact on their ability to procreate, just like Pandas themselves, apparently.
You Go Girl!
It’s not just me, then. I’m very pro-species preservation but pandas could stand to at least give a shit about reproducing.
It seems a pity that these things, which are comparatively inexpensive such as air-conditioning or a couple of snacks, aren’t provided as standard to a poor creature who is effectually in prison ( and forbidden from providing for herself ).
Also from the article, it seems pandas aren’t known for a high libido, making mating that much more difficult.
Some commentary about our not interfering with Nature’s way. 
According to this, she wasn’t really faking, just hormonal.
Is that the link you intended?
We have two pandas here borrowed from China. They’re in the Chiang Mai Zoo up in the North. One attempt to get them to mate was showing them videotapes of panda porn. Really.
They finally did mate and had a cute little girl who captivated the country for a couple of years. She was recently sent back to China to help select a mate for her, then the couple will come back to Thailand, as per an agreement between the two countries.
That’s something a lot of people don’t realize. Chinese law says that all pandas are the property of the Chinese nation. They don’t give pandas away as gifts. All of the pandas living outside of China are still legally owned by China - they’re only on loan to their host country. (And by loan, I mean rent - countries pay an annual fee to China for any panda. It’s about a million dollars a year.) This also means that any cubs born to a panda belongs to China also, regardless of where it’s born.
Indeed. The Thais fell so in love with Lin Bing, the panda cub that was born here, that suggestions she may have to return to China permanently met with near riots. The governments finally worked out a deal, and she’ll be back with a mate. But interest seems to have dropped off now that she’s not a small cub anymore.
Oh, and as I recall now, the panda porn didn’t work, although they did try that. I think they resorted to artificial insemination to get Lin Bing.
Given all that, I suppose it’s no coincidence that the current World of Warcraft expansion is “Mists of Pandaria”, with a whole race of humanoid pandas. China is one of the game’s biggest customers.
Panda diplomacy dates back to the Tang Dynasty. Poaching pandas is a death-penalty offense in China too. Really.