So, my boyfriend posts to a different message board. This is a public space and his screen name is pretty easy for me to figure out. I was reading through some of the posts on the board and I happened to come across two separate posts where he refers to me as his fiancee. What? That’s not a party that I’ve ever been invited to.
Men and women of the Dope… Any thoughts on this, motivations, etc.?? :eek:
Either,
A) It’s not him, or
B) There’s a shiny thing and a bit of ceremony in your immediate future.
So, you’re either about to be surprised and happy (assuming this would be a good thing to you) or party to a Three’s Company episode. Without further evidence however I can’t make ruling[sup]*[/sup].
[sub]* I am not a judge, nor do I play one on TV. I just don’t look good in robes.[/sub]
Here comes the judge… lol
Nah, it was him.
It was just kind of matter of fact stuff like my fiancee and I will be going to the movies tomorrow evening.
There may be a few more possibilities:
Wishful thinking on his part. If he’s tried to bring up the subject and you weren’t receptive or encouraging, he may be just dreaming in the anonymity of a discussion board.
Perhaps he believes you’re more than a girlfriend – much more – and wants to portray you as someone very important in his life, but he knows of only one word that describes you, imperfect and incorrect though it may be.
Or, as **Mindfield ** suggested, maybe the poster isn’t your boyfriend at all.
Do you live together? Have you been dating for a long time? Maybe he’s just trying to convery the seriousness of your relationship to the posters of that board in easy to understand terms. Does he know you read his posts?
My honest advice? If he doesn’t know you’re reading his posts, it borders on snooping and no good can come of it. Either you’ve ruined a suprise for yourself or you’re going to be disappointed when the proposal doesn’t come.
No, we don’t live together, about an hours’ drive apart. We’ve been together about six months. Maybe it is snooping, but that wasn’t my original intent. It’s a political message board if you must know. Not just casual chatter. I don’t think he’s going to propose anytime soon, we’ve both got too much going on in our lives right now. That’s why I was looking for alternate reasons that someone might say that.
Maybe it really is him but he’s talking about some other girl.
That was my thought too.
Erm, no. He specifically mentions a vacation that he and I will be taking together. Good thoughts, though.
Perhaps he thinks (rightfully or not) that other posters there would think lesser of him if he referred to you as simply his girlfriend. It could hold connotations of imaturity or a fear of commitment.
He’s using shorthand.
The girl I am currently seeing isn’t really my girlfriend, but in situations where saying “The girl I’m currently seeing that isn’t really my girlfriend” is a bit much… I’ll just say “girlfriend”
And quit snooping.
So now you are your own other woman. That’s kinky, in a self-reflexive sort of way.
Why not just ask him about it?
My guess: He thinks he’ll look more mature to the other members of the board if he has a “fiancee” rather than a “girlfriend.”
It’s a shorthand term, because ‘girlfriend’ feels too casual to him for the level your relationship is at, and ‘pre-fiancee’ is silly. He wants his forum readers to get that you’re a serious, long-term part of his life. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s going to be popping the question this week. You could ask him about it, you know. Communication is important in a marriage.
What’s the difference to you? He’s not talking negatively about you. I’m assuming he’s never publicly introduced you as is fiancee. He’s talking politics with complete strangers and like another poster said, it probably makes him feel more mature. No big deal.
Maybe he’s trying to fight off all the other women who lust after him on that other board by making them think he’s unavailable.
Most likely he’s just trying to make your relationship sounds more serious than boyfriend/girlfriend, though. There’s nothing really between there and fiancee.
As FisherQueen just pointed out. Gah. Read the whole thread before writing your post, self!
It wasn’t snooping? Bull…, oops can’t use that in this forum.
I appreciate all of these opinions, thank you. Just what I was looking for.
I called my brother-in-law my brother-in-law long before he and my sister married. I didn’t think boyfriend carried the weight, especially since they had been living together for over a decade.
Now that they’re married, I still call him my brother-in-law, but I’m not fudging the truth to do it.
Bullshit.