Pardon My apparent fucking ignorance but...

The BBQ Pit
#1

In an improving economy shouldn’t my 401K be growing?
Despite my contributions, even my low risk investments are declining in value.

It started with an email I got this morning from Fidelity that says If I give up a cup of coffee and a donut once a week and contribute an additional $2.00 per week, it will increase my overall savings to roughly $9,000.00 over 25 years. How the hell do they think they plan to pull that off? Over the past ten years I’ve contributed roughly $80 per month and there is currently less than $9000 in my 401K right now.

So, How the fuck is that additional $2 per week going to grow when they can’t seem to produce any tangible results with the money I’ve already contributed? It looks to me like If I contribute more over the next 25 years I will be serving coffee and donuts after I retire, probably to some rich (schmuck) retiree from Fidelity.

From my perspective, based on the past performance of my portfolio, they want me to give up more money now, (which I desperately need to pay my bills) so they can lose more of my money on bad investments, and I can have less to retire on in 25 years.

#2

It’s pining for the fjiords.

#3

I have seen the same thing with my retirement fund. I shovel money in, and the total goes down. So much for the “strong economy”. The bottom line is, the economy is not improving. That happy news is just a smoke screen. Truth is, the economy is tanked. The only ones making money are the crooks.

#4

That should have been your tip-off right there. Anyone tells me to give up coffee and donuts, I tell 'em to go to hell. That e-mail would have hit my spam bin faster than the latest offer from the wife of the former finance minister of Nigeria.

#5

Damn you! I opened this thread to make that joke!

Re: the OP. I share your pain. I am starting to think that the “stash my savings in the mattress” retirement plan is the way to go.

#6

Remember what The Brain said in Gremlins 2? “We’re advising all our clients to invest in canned goods and shitgun shells”.

#7

That was supposed to be SHOTgun! Sorry!

#8

I don’t know what a shitgun is, but I know that I wouldn’t want one pointed at me!

#9

Simulpost! I liked your typo better.

#10

Ah, they’re 1920s style shitguns.

#11

There’s your problem, right there :stuck_out_tongue:

#12

Sad thing is, My Wife works at Starbucks, so my coffee is free, and I don’t eat donuts.

I like the Idea of a SHITgun. Every Fatkat money money gobbling robber baron rat bastard banker should have excrement shat at them. (misspelling intended)

I despise rich people, especially the ones who got that way on the hard working backs of those like me.

#13

Very funny posts, but what *should * a person do? About six or seven years ago I took everything to Fidelity because they were highly recommended, had a great reputation, etc and I was worn out from trying to keep track and deal with it. After 9/11 and the debacle that followed for several years, my amount is now back up to what I took them six or seven years ago, which I’m glad about, but I still haven’t gained anything. Have you ever tried to get the cash back in your pudgy, grimey, little hands? The financiers get all up in arms when you mention it. What would you do with it, really, if you did take it away from Fidelity or whoever’s holding your investments?

#14

I’ve been trying to sock away in a Roth IRA - I’ve got a 5 year certificate at the credit union that gives something like 5%. Isn’t much, but at least it has to go up. Can one do the same thing with other retirement funds? (I suppose it depends on how long you have till retirement - I’ve got time.) As for a 401K - that’d be suggesting I got benefits. Like insurance or something. It is to laugh.

#15

I haven’t laughed at a “death ray” based joke in months.

Until now. Well done.

#16

I don’t know who handles your funds, but our 401K is growing. Maybe you should check out Kiplinger or something for some advice.

#17

Yeah, mine’s doing OK as well. I certainly haven’t seen it declining.

#18

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
[Fingers in ears]
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
Republicans GOOD, Democrats BAD!
[/Fingers in ears]

(with apologies to George Orwell)

#19

You actually believe that load of Bushwah?

#20

Mine have been doing fantastically. Have you considered moving your money into different funds? The one(s) you have must be crap if they’re still going down.