Parents' advice sought: late walker, late talker

In My Humble Opinion
21

One of my sons is hypotonic, which means he has a neuromuscular problem that leads to delays in gross and fine motor skills. At some point when we had him at the polyclinic for a check-up, I was given a diagnostic chart that I still have here. This is what they expect an 18 month old to be able to do:

Gross Motor and Movement: Climb up onto a chair. 75% can walk backwards. Walk while pulling a toy. Walk steadily. Bend down and pick things up.

Social Reactions: Take off shoes and socks. Look at picture books. Roll a ball with an adult. Drink from a cup. Go and get something for an adult. Imitate housework.

Speech and Language: Identify pictures. Identify at least one body part, e.g. “Where’s your nose?” Uses 6 to 10 words; passive vocabulary larger than active (i.e. the child understands more words than s/he uses).

Fine Motor/Eye-Hand Coordination: Scribble. Build a tower with two blocks. Throw a ball.

Object Relationships and Problem Solving: Pull a toy closer using paper. (That is, if you put a toy on a piece of paper, with the toy just out of reach of the child, s/he should figure out that pulling on the paper will bring the toy closer, too.) Put one shape in a three hole shape sorter. Put rings on a ring stacker and take them off again.

Now, this is the minimum - most kids can do more than this in some areas at least. If a child is unable to do all of the things in one area, there’s a chance of some developmental problems and intervention should be considered. If he or she can’t do any of the items in two or more areas, then it’s definitely time to look more deeply into what the problem might be.

From what you’ve said, it sounds like gypsykid is lagging behind in gross motor skills, but there’s an explanation for that. It does not sound like he’s significantly behind in speech. There’s a huge variation in normal speech among toddlers, so the gap between “slower than the neighbors’ kids” and “time to start panicking” is enormous.

If it makes you feel better, by all means talk with the doctor. But in the meantime, try to relax, tune out your mother, and trust that your little one is developing at the pace that’s right for him.

22

gypsygirl, you might also consider a part-time daycare/preschool. The one Aaron goes to works with the kids a lot and helps them develop their skills. One of the skills they emphasize is socialization. Since Airman and I don’t know any parents with young kids, daycare has been a godsend for Aaron’s social skills.

Robin

23

My son is 22 months old. He is just starting to talk. He can say about 30 words and he seems to learn more everyday now. Hes been walking since about twelve months. Like others have said, every child develops differently. Some catch on late but develop really fast. Some start out early but develop slow. The rest seem to be average. I would not worry now. If they dont talk by the time they are three I would strart to be concerned but still not worried. They show other signs of learning at early ages and speech isn`t the only indicator of intelligence. Problem solving, working puzzles, and interacting with others are also important.

24

This immediately made me think of that old joke: little Bobby never spoke, causing his parents great concern. Two years old, three, four, five, six, and still not a peep out of him. Finally, when he was seven years old, he was sitting at breakfast, looked up, and said, “Mother, this toast is burnt.”

Mother, wildly excited: “My God, he’s finally speaking!!! Bobby, why haven’t you said anything until now?!”

Bobby: “Until now, everything has been satisfactory.”

25

I didn’t walk until I was 18 months, wasn’t really toilet-trained until I was three, and my speech was very unclear until I got into school and got help with it. I WAS talking, but nobody could understand me because I was trying to keep up with my brain, which went faster than my mouth could. I still have this problem on occasion but I can catch myself.

How can ANYBODY toilet-train a TEN MONTH OLD?

26

I get some flack from the grandparents about our 21 month old’s talking ability. She says what she wants when she feels it is necessary. She does not play the “say ball” game at all. She’s probably got about 20-30 words but I don’t hear them every day. Right now everything is Oh-oh! look the show’s over is Oh-oh. done eating? Oh-oh. Drop something Oh-oh. Catch her in something? Oh-oh.

I don’t worry and tell them to lay off :slight_smile: She’s extremely active and social. Always exploring new things and being an imp. Her motor skills are great (she builds towers, loves to make sets of things, can do most of her shape sorter stuff, treats the house as a giant jungle gym, follows most directions and can undress herself… blah blah) She’s just too busy to talk right now.

I may worry if she doesn’t talk much more in 6 months but not yet.

27

A couple of thoughts I have not seen yet (but I didn’t read all of each post)

Live life with a voice over for a few months. Don’t just do things but describe things as you do them.

As he is getting dressed, “One sock on the foot, two socks on the feet. One leg in the pants, two legs in the pants, pull them up over the baby bottom.”

Just hearing language tied to what it means helps encourage them to do the same.

Also ask him questions. Even if he isn’t speaking there will be a great deal that he understands. Asking, “Where’s the bunny?” when the toy is out of sight or across the room will get him responding to language even if he isn’t reproducing it.

Try holding up two items that he likes but keeping them out of his reach. Ask “Do you want the truck or the ball?” and try to get him to respond verbally. Even if he just gets out “ttt” or “bbb” you can figure out which he means. That will get him used to the idea that he can get something by saying its name.

My daughter’s first word was “wasat” (What’s that) For about 3-4 months that was all she said. We think she just discovered that it made adults talk when she pointed and said it.

It was adorable when she got a present that she really liked and said “W-w-w-wat SAT?” she was so excited.

I also agree with those that said he isn’t getting frustrated enough to go to the trouble of talking. It is easy to get to know each other so well that you know exaclty what he wants almost before he does. You just have to play dumb when the situation allows it.

28

My son was a late talker & late walker. A little after his second birthday he was evaluated with Sensory Integration Disorder which can cause problems with motor control (among other things) and both speech & walking are, of course, motor functions.

He attended special preschool the first year, regular preschool the next two years (although with on-staff therapists and an IEP) and is in mainstream kindergarten this year. He still gets outside speech therapy but is no longer receiving occupational therapy.

My suggestion would be to give it some more time then, if problems persist, get him evaluated. We got our evaluation through services offered by the county school system and had the preschool offered gratis by the school system as part of their early intervention programs (kind of like head start). The outside therapies were partially covered by my work insurance plan since they problems were biological in origin.

He’s since been diagnosed with ADHD, which often accompanies SID, and we’re treating that as well.

29

Whether its time to get undressed or not I bet. Yup I remember that age.

30

Pretty much Degrance… She refuses to wear shoes unless we’re going outside. If she wants to go outside she brings me her shoes (likewise she brings a cup if she wants water and the box when she wants cereal or her blanket if she wants a nap)

We most often find her undressed in the morning. Pajamas in a heap on the floor by the crib along with all her toys and stuff.

I do voice over my day… I find I do it so much now that I tend to do so even when she is not around. Quite embarassing sometimes!

31

Have the child evaluated and get a second opinion.

If something does turn out to be wrong where the earliest intervention would be helpful, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life kicking yourself.

Chances are, nothing is wrong.

We had a speech eval done on my son when he was about 2 1/2. He came out at about the 35th percentile - within the range of normal. Now, it would have been great if he’d been at the 90th percentile, but 35th percentile gave me peace of mind. We have friends whose son tested at the 3rd percentile and speech therapy has made all the difference.

My cousin’s daughter didn’t walk until around 19 months - her parents are both medical professionals. From 16 months to two years she had physical therapy.

Kids DO develop at different rates, but very often they are slower at one thing because they’ve been working so hard on something else. Late walkers are often early talkers and late talkers are often early walkers. Hospitalization or another trauma may slow everything down.

As I said, chances are, nothing is wrong. But you really want to be sure of that, and no one here is qualified to diagnose over the internet.

32

Not a parent, but I know as a child I was a very late talker, to the point where my parents thought there was something wrong with me. At some point around the age of three, though, some sort of internal dam broke, and I began both talking and writing. (not writing sonnets, mind you – just simple limericks and haiku).

And I’m left-handed. For what it’s worth.

Daniel

33

Is it true that boys often tend to be less vocal than girls? I’ve heard many times that girls are more likely to talk earlier and more than boys. In my limited contact with children I’ve noticed that it seems to be true, but I’m not around enough kids to have an informed opinion.

34

My three-year-old little girl starts talking the moment she wakes up & falls asleep with things left unsaid. My older son speaks comparitively little - although, if you look above, he does have speech issues that make it a bit more work for him. My baby mostly just drools.

I’ve read that women in general use something like 5 times :dubious: the words per day then men. Sorry, no cite but personal experience with the Lady B suggests it to be true.

35

I would be more concerned about the delay in talking than walking. A few years ago, I remember reading about some studies that indicated that children who maintained crawling for a longer period of time developed better cognitive skills later on. The crawling movement encouraged right/left hemisphere co-ordination that in turn apparently aids the mental functioning.

The lack of verbal skills gypsygirl31 sounds very much like your kid doesn’t need to do a lot of talking, as you have indicated. Put me with the ‘Take her out lots to interact with others who don’t ‘understand’ her’ camp. Being in an environment where others are not as attuned to her needs as you are may encourage her to communicate more effectively.

And DO remember that kids DO develop at different rates. By the time they are 15, it doesn’t really matter whether they walked or talked early or late (unless there is a definite problem). I recall panicking about my second kid who didn’t even start crawling until the day he turned 1, (although he was talking at 10 months). He basically sat on his bum for the first year of his life and then finally walked when he was 20 months. Even now 18 years later, he is extremely articulate but one of the most sedentary sods I have ever met.

:smiley:

36

Put me in the “if you’re worried, get a second opinion” camp. And I agree with **Primaflora ** that doctors don’t always necessarily know best. You are the expert on your child, no one else is.

For the record my son who was born with a partial hearing loss said his first word at 10 months, while his cousin with normal hearing didn’t say a single word until he was two (he’s five now, and perfectly normal). I don’t remember exactly when my son started walking, except he was more or less on target. Both of these kids are lefties, BTW. We knew my son had a hearing problem soon after birth, so we really worked hard on his speaking, using many of the methods listed above, especially the running commentary on what was going on around him.

gypsygirl31, has his hearing been tested? Many states now do screening immediately after birth, in which case you would know by now if there was a problem. If not, and you think it might be a problem you should get him tested. You will probably need to pester your pediatrician to get a referral, though. They are notorious among parents of deaf and hard-of-hearing kids for being reluctant to refer kids for hearing tests. Do-it-yourself tests of the banging two pot lids together variety are not necessarily accurate, by the way.

A real hearing test is painless and would give you some peace of mind. Oh, and tell Grandma to back off. JMHO.

37

Interesting. However, I would guess that this is just a pattern that stuck out to the ped since lefties are so rare- as babies we cover all ranges of the spectrums just like righties (so says the leftie who was walking and starting to speak in sentences by age 1; earlier on both than my brother the rightie).

As for the OP, you can probably have your son evaluated by your school system (at no cost) at a designated “child check” time to rule out or confirm your worries because there are special ed programs in place for children well before typical “school age”. In this state and others there’s a program called Birth-to-three that provides home therapies (speech, physical, OT etc) for kids under three, who are too young to attend SpED preschools. Your school district’s superintendent should be able to provide you with far more information that I can, though.

38

That’s essentially my little sister. (Or was, she might wander in here and mention something herself) We called her Bundles, because she was a warm lump for the majority of her babyhood. No walking, no rolling over, no talking, no crying. Weird little baby. Beautiful, but not normal at all. We got worried that she was autistic. Turns out, she’s fine. Brilliant, creative, just quiet and only shares when it’s really important.

In a related note, her first word was deja vu. I think she ment it too, which made it even odder.

Unless you are getting huge vibes that there isn’t anything going on in there, don’t worry. (Though in our family’s case, Grandma was the only one who thought she wasn’t autistic/retarded. She kept saying, “Look at her eyes, gears are just grinding away in there.” And the rest of us would peer into these seamless, china blue depths and see absolutely nothing.)

39

FWIW I did not talk until I was three. My parents always like to tell how I used to grunt and point (guess I was a Tim Allen fan) until one day I just started speaking in entire sentences.

40

gypsygirl, I would suggest reading to your son aloud. Tell your mom to MYOB…we’re not all poured out of the same mold. We all developed at different times.

It does seem you and your son may be a bit isolated. Do look into playgroups and Moms Clubs.