Trash, dishes and laundry, if a 12-year-old is expected to do them every day, would be too much. But many families take “turns” doing the dishes, laundry, and so forth, and unless someone can provide a cite indicating that the mom put the burden of dishes, laundry, and trash, every night on the 12-year-old ONLY (no help from the 17-year old), I fail to see the outrage.
But even so, a small load of dishes (putting them in the dishwasher) doesn’t take very long, same with a medium load of laundry, cleaning up the counters, mopping the small kitchen floor, etc. Seriously, it isn’t that bad. I used to work at a “group home” (where I took care of people with developmental disabilities) and I had the dishes, laundry, and basic cleaning time down to an art. It really didn’t take that long.
Alright, so thus far we have many posters saying that the parents may have problems or may not but the kids can and should do chores. And we have Bear here saying that making them do even the most minor task is tantamount to forceing them to live like little negro slaves in the 1820’s, adn that mom is some she-devil for making the kids take out the trash.
OK, I so don’t even know why we’re paying attention to him.
Frankly, when a mother who camps out on her front lawn to protest inaction on her children’s behalf is being discussed, I think the onus is on her defenders to prove that she runs her household in an appropriate manner.
Whatever! If she read the instructions, she’d know how to do it. No one is going to inherantly know how to operate every kind of machine without being taught or learning on one’s own.
But this proves nothing. If she grew up learning on one particular style of machine her whole life, what would she do when she moved out and had to use a completely different syle? She’s read the instructions under the lid.
I hope it explains why I’m not lazy. Why I understand how hard it is and what a big commitment children are. Why I won’t have kids until I’m ready. Why I know what hard work is. And why I can easily recognize a person whining about “too much housework and not enough time” and their “lazy kids”.
Let’s see… I went to school. Got home and finished my homework, then got ready for practice. Then road with my parents to practice, busted my ass on the field, road home. Then I took a shower and got ready for dinner. We’re rotating three kids here. After all the showers, we’d eat dinner, brush our teeth and maybe watch one tv show together as a family before going to bed.
Then I got up and did the same the next day.
I would do things like mow the yard, pull weeds, trim hedges and all that other crap you mentioned. But those are by no means Daily Activities.
I was a kid, being a kid. When I happened to have free time, I spent it playing with my friends. Doing things that kids should be doing.
Where’s a decent cite that proves giving children chores does jack-shit. People make that claim all the time. Is there anything that backs up the fact.
Ungrateful Slackers? If that’s your opinion of your kids, then that explains your position in this thread.
Cleaning up after themselves involves not leaving clothes lying around, not leaving dishes lying around, and not leaving trash around. Washing the family’s dishes and the family’s clothes are not “picking up after one’s self”.
If the parents couldn’t handle doing these things, they shouldn’t have had kids. Let you kids play and be kids for fucks sake.
I don’t think I said they were incapable of doing them. I said they Shouldn’t be Required to do Them. Of course they are capable. Recall my mother washing dishes before she was 5!
If washing dishes is so simple (and I agree, it is. It’s quick and painless) then why the fuck can’t the mother do the fucking dishes herself. She stays at home all day long and can’t do some fucking dished??? That’s total bullshit.
Parents should take care of their kids. That means they might have to clean when something is spilled. They might have to wash dishes when something is eaten. And they might have to do laundry when something gets worn.
Their parental responsibility is to see that those things get done. Blaming the kids for a messy house is stupid.
Yeah. I swear, when I read his first post I thought it was a carefully crafted bit of satire. But I guess he’s serious. :eek:
I’m not defending her camping out on the lawn (though it is entertaining). It seems like a ham-handed way to handle slacking kids. However, I see no reason why we should prove that the parents are doing this because they don’t want to do ANY chores themselves. The cite listed in the OP doesn’t give that impression at all. (What with the mom lugging out trash right after her dental surgery.)
I’d like you to provide a cite that indicates that indeed, the parents feel it is beyond unreasonable for them (the parents) to do any housework. Otherwise, I think most of us are going with the assumption that the mom was sick of the kids refusing to do chores that would be within the “reasonable” range (at least for most American families).
I’m also discussing the concept that some of you seem so focused on—that a stay-at-home mom is “enslaving” her kids when she expects them to (shudder) do chores, like laundry and dishes.
Fuck you. When did I say this? You’re obviously NOT paying attention to me.
I think my point from the begining has been:
When did I say kids shouldn’t be made to do the most minor tasks? I never did. You are trying to put words in my mouth-- you’re being an asshole.
Washing dishes a couple times a week. That’s one thing. Making it the kids’ responsibility to see that the TRASH, LAUNDRY, and DISHES are done everyday??? That’s bullshit. That is lazy parenting.
And those things mentioned are just the things that pile up. Do you really think that the mother was doing all the other stuff? Do you think she was dusting and vacuuming, but just not doing those three particular things?? Oh I highly doubt it.
A clean house is a parent’s responsibility. Period.
I never said chores were wrong. I just said they’re not necessary to teach responsibility. And they probably don’t even do shit for teaching responsibility. It obviously didn’t teach these particular kids anything.
What I’ve been saying is that making your kids do all the housework is bullshit. And it’s lazy parenting.
The article gives barely any information; everything else in this thread is fiction.
The parents could be lazy slave drivers, or the kids could be monsters who use every dish in the house when they get home from school and refuse to clean any of them.
We don’t know.
I will say that I think the parents strategy is idiotic, and that poor cleaning habits by no means end when you move out (as evidenced by one of my roommates).
Obviously this woman is a nitwit who can’t handle her own kids.
Oh give me a break. The article mentions dishes, laundry and the trash. Dishes take, what, 20 minutes after a meal? For one person. At least that’s about what it took in my family of four, and that was after a somewhat large meal with lots of dishes.
The trash takes five freaking minutes. Pick up trash out of kitchen garbage, take it out to the garage, dump in trash bin. Maybe he has to empty the other trash cans while he does that. Tack on another five minutes. Ten minutes tops.
One kid does the dishes for 20 minutes, the other takes out the trash.
I’m assuming when she says laundry, she doesn’t mean the whole family’s laundry, but just their own. At least, that’s how it was in my family. Laundry is done once a week and takes two hours for two loads.
This is hardly going to get in the way of studying or whatnot. Hell, I did more than this. I had to mow and edge the lawn, vacuum my own room and the kitchen, plus dishes, my own laundry, etc. That was in addition to music classes, sports (baseball and basketball), school and Boy Scouts. And I had plenty of time to hang out with my friends. These kids are not being put upon with this chore level.
The real problem here isn’t that this woman is assigning her kids chores, it’s that she’s too fucking stupid to know how to get them to do them and now she’s throwing a little temper tantrum. Basically, what shows she’s a dumb oaf isn’t that she assigns the kids these chores, is that her kids don’t have enough respect for her to do them.
I know she could, eventually, and I already said that. I just said that she didn’t know. A rocket scientist balked at using a certain type of washing machine. Not a moron.
Watching your mom slave away, washing your clothes? :rolleyes:
Yeah, and it obviously was a lot for your mom, since you didn’t do any laundry.
And what did you do on the weekends? What were you doing when your mom was washing the dinner dishes?
I agree that kids shouldn’t be doing all the chores, never having time for fun things. And the younger they are, the less chores they should do. But as they get older, taking turns doing the dishes and laundry, well, it isn’t an outrageous expectation. It isn’t outrageous because many families do it, without the kids screaming about being “slaves.”
And you have nothing backing up your contention, other than your whining.
If they refuse to do anything, then that’s what they are. I ought to know, I was a lazy slacker when I was a kid. But the different was, I could be motivated, eventually. And I didn’t think that my parents were honor bound to pick up after me. I didn’t have that feeling of entitlement that you are exuding.
I said cleaning up after oneself." CLEANING. Cleaning your own dirty dishes. Your own dirty clothes. Or rotating the chore, so that each kid takes turns each night (so maybe a kid will do dishes every third or fourth night). Haven’t you seen those TV shows where the kids argue after dinner about whose “turn” it is to do the dishes? Where do you think this concept comes from? Have kids been “enslaved” all these years, and we just didn’t know it?
When they’re 7 years old, sure. But when they’re 12 years old, come on. They’re old enough.
And you are in the distinct minority amongst American families, methinks.
Why?
At the job I previously mentioned (looking out for the developmentally disabled people), many of these people were mentally and emotionally children. Sometimes as “young” as 3, or 12, or whatever. We were instructed to encourage them to do chores. Because it was their house too, and they needed to have that responsibility. Sure, we were paid to be there, to look after them, but the goal was, if all things went well, for the residents to do all their own chores (of course this didn’t happen because of the individuals’ limitations).
This is certainly not a new concept—the concept of all members of the household “chipping in” and helping—and it’s not, no matter how hysterical you get, outrageous. Just because mom can do more, doesn’t mean that she should have to, while kids stand around and watch her clean up after them.
They feed them, they give them a bed to sleep in. They support them and take care of them. What do you want—for them to wipe the damned kids’ butts untl they’re 18?
Yeah, when they’re 3. NOT when they’re 12. There is absolutely no need. Unless you seriously are saying that if a 12-year-old spills her Pepsi on the kitchen floor, she should just leave it there, because it’s Mom’s job to clean it up?
Neurotik it is because those “chores” take little time whatsoever, that I take serious issue with the mother letting them go undone. Letting trash build up? Letting dirty dishes pile up. Dirty laundry…
We’re talking about a lapse in basic sanitation here. Would she just let her kids not bathe?
Asking a child to mow the yard, wash the car, keep their room clean, or hell do their own personal laundry… that is different then tasking them out to do the housework/house cleaning.
We both agree that these chores don’t require much time or skill to complete. I use that fact to argue why the mother, then, should just do them. It’s her house. She needs to keep it clean.
You use the same fact to explain why the kids should do them.
You think the kids are lazy. I think the parents are lazy.
Quite frankly, they both are.
Yep – this is pretty much what I said way back on page one, before it was buried in the debate. Properly raised kids don’t ‘refuse’ their parent’s reasonable requests and proper parents don’t respond to rebellious kids with silly stunts like the couple in the article are pulling. It’s just dumb.
Beats me… playing outside. Being an active adolescent. Socializing with others. Being a fucking kid while my mother was being a mother.
Had I even attempted to help her, she would tell me to go away.
So tell me what great lesson you learned. You must be so responsible and not lazy now, since you were forced to do chores. I bet you’re not obese and you don’t complain about not having enough time in the day to do what you want…
Or maybe it’s the opposite.
You know. Fuck this. Nightime is absolutely right, and this thread is growing tiresome.
I want everyone to take a look at themselves for a second though. Did you do chores as a kid? Did it prevent you from growing into a lazy, overweight adult who demands her kids do those same chores? Most likely no.
Housework was never my responsibility growing up. Things that required occassional maintenance, like the yard work, pets, washing the car maybe… those are things I helped out with.
I am not lazy. I am not irresponsible. And I am not incapable of taking care of myself. And I didn’t need to take a college class in washing clothes to figure out the pictoral instructions under the fucking lid.
I really don’t give a shit if you people want to be lazy and make your kids do the housework. Doesn’t really bother me. But stop pretending it’s because you’re teaching the kids some valuable “Life Lesson”. This is not what you’re doing. You’re doing it because you are fucking lazy and don’t want to get off your ass to do it yourself.
And that goes DOUBLE for a SAHM. What the fuck else do you do all day if not housework.
Lazy fucking bastards. The lot of you.
Okay, fair enough. But Jesus, is it so wrong to ask a child to clean his or her room, to dry the dishes, take out the trash, and feed the cat? Or clean up any messes he or she makes?
Which, apparently, meant fetching and carrying for you.
Sure it is. Because frankly, you’re getting an ass whoopin’ on this thread. Acting as if it’s the mom’s job to wipe and clean up after her 12-17 year old kids, while they play games and have fun all the time? Yeah. That’s going to go over real well.
You aint kiddin, I live alone and it’s all I could do to keep up with myself. I couldn’t imagine cleanin up after myself and three others. BTW I clean everyday, after work that is…
