PARENTS: If you can't raise your kids properly- then KEEP YOUR PANTS ON!!!!!

The BBQ Pit
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  1. My wife and I are sitting at a restaurant. In the booth on the other side of the partition a mother, grandmother and this little boy sit down. The little boy starts by handing us pepper and salt shakers.

It’s cute at first, though we ignore him, but by the end of the meal quickly degenrates into this little bastard THROWING A STRAW WRAPPER AT US! All the time this little prick is standing on his seat, playing with his fork, almost stabbing himself, while Mommy is too busy having her little conversation with gramma, and keeps going “No Jordan!”. “This is the last time Jordan!”. Of course, Jordan doesn’t listen, becuase Mommy is too weak to put her foot down.

Here’s a suggestion:

-The first time the little critter is acting up, discipline him THEN. Don’t spend the whole meal meekly saying “no” only to have the little shit do it all over again! Hit the little fucker if you have to- trust me I will not call the Cops like some of these bleeding hearts out there say you should do. As a matter of fact, I’ll tell you what lady- I’ll even hold the little piece of shit back while you whack him!
-Switch seats with “Jordan” since he is clearly bothering other guests. If you are trying to block him so he won’t run all over the restaurant, then you haven’t taught him properly. Refer to above suggestion in that case.

  1. On an airline, Dad is with two boys, who proceed to spend the next 90 minutes horsing around, and kicking the seat of the passenger in front of them. What does Dad do? For 90 minutes, Dad just sits there in his comfortable aisle seat, leans over and tells the boys to stop. OF COURSE they don’t listen!

-Hey Dad, how about sitting in THE SEAT IN BETWEEN THE TWO LITTLE BASTARDS? I know, I know how horrible it will be for you to sacrifice your aisle seat, but think about the DISCOMFORT the passengers IN FRONT OF YOU, and everyone else who has to hear this racket, must put up with! The entire flight I was praying, PRAYING we would get hijacked, and the first hostages that the terrorists picked out to execute would be you three inbreds.

  1. Walking through Circus Circus casino at 12 am, I see a poor security guard who must have the most miserable job in the world- teaching parents who really should have been sterilzed long ago how to raise their brats.

First, he has to admonish these idiot parents because their 4 kids are standing around blocking a walkway. Then I go back downstairs at 1 am, and see TWO KIDS SLEEPING IN THE HALLWAY LEADING TO THE CASINO- ON THE FLOOR! The poor security guard then has to wake the kids and ask them to point out their trailer trash parents who have abandoned them so they can gamble their welfare checks away.

My adventure ends at 130 am at a casino next door which appears to be full of drunks, gang memebrs and there is even a fight,. Just as I am about to leave . . . this scumbag comes in with his baby!!! AT 130 IN THE FRIGGIN’ MORNING!!!

I love all these experts out there who say you should never hit your kids, or these idiots that threaten to call the cops when they see a parent disciplining a child in public. “It just teaches the kid your bigget than him, so you can hit them.”

Bullshit.

Look, of course I’m a little over the top here, and do advocate excessive violence at children.

But when I was a kid, I can tell you one thing- if I threw a straw at another restaurant patron, kicked another seat on an airline, or wandered around a casino aimlessly, my father would tell me about it once. The next time it would hurt. I knew I’d be an idiot to try it again, too. I seem to be doing okay as an adult!

And yes, I do favor legislation leaglizing 23rd trimester abortions! Just wrap a coat hanger around the little bastards neck and strangle him!

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The world is full of clueless people, and they all breed.

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I pretty much agree with this entire rant (minus the final paragraph :smiley: ). But regarding the title, I would note that at the time these people took their pants off, they did not realize how difficult they would find it to raise their children properly.

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I’d just like to point out the my window’s header says PARENTS: If you can’t raise your kids properly- then KEEP YOUR PA

I just found that funny for some reason.
Anyway, as far as your rant goes, leaving kids in the hotel lobby to gamble? Bad bad thing. Having a kid throw a wrapper at you? um, not quite so bad. But apparently in Vinnie’s world that’s a draw and quarterable offense. All righty then.

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I once saw a book called “Getting Pregnant for Dummies”. My opinion is that it’s all too easy for dummies to get pregnant.

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But, you could lose an eye. :wink:

Seriously, I figured this thread would’ve exploded by now.

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All kids go through stages where they are still learning, and there is not much that discipline can do. I mean, (for example) you can beat the shit out of a one-year-old, but he isn’t going to learn from that and it’s probably going to turn him into the kind of kid who burns puppies for fun at age 8.

But knowing that, you can do a few things that would prevent people like Vinnie (and the rest of us) plotting mass sterilization schemes.

(1) Don’t take the offspring to places where his/her behavior is going to be problematic. So maybe you don’t get to go out to eat as much. Well, that’s parenthood. It’s what you signed up for.

(2) Bust your ass to minimize disturbance when you are out with the little monster. We made a firm commitment that one of us would get up immediately and take Cranky Jr out when he started being a pain in a public place. That’s true if it’s dinner out, the public library, church, or the shopping mall. Last week we were on an airplane and the rows were so close together, Cranky Jr could easily kick the sit in front of him. I couldn’t make him stop (he was too young to understand), so I held my arm out and physically prevented those little baby keds from kicking until we could distract him adequately.

Everyone has reproductive rights, even stupid people (alas). The trick is what to do with the kids once you’ve got them. Be considerate of other people and make sure your brats, as they grow, learn the same.

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While having a kid throw a wrapper at you isn’t a felony, it is inappropriate to do. Kids need to learn what is right and what is wrong, would you go around acting like a maniac in restaurants and throwing things at people?
I agree with the OP entirely.

Too many bad parents are being sheltered by the aforementioned bleeding hearts who prevent them, or give them a good excuse, not to discipline their kids.

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Okay, so the kid is throwing a straw wrapper. That comes in under the heading of “obnoxious behavior”, at worst. If we’re talking about a real little kid here, the problem might be that he misunderstands 1) exactly what percentage of the human population wants to play with him and 2) what counts as playing. In any case, the behavior should be squashed. However, it’s a fucking straw wrapper. It’s soft paper, no sharp edges, I can’t see how even a brain-dead hamster could manage to get injured here. So tell us, Vinnie, if the parents are supposed to wale the kid’s ass for a crime as minor as throwing a straw wrapper, what are they supposed to do when he actually does something mad? Impose the death penalty perhaps?

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I find that to be an acceptable solution.

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Why is throwing a straw wrapper bad? After working in food service, I will tell you why.

Vinny has just as much right to an undisturbed meal as the family with the kid does. He is paying for a meal and for transportation to get there. It is not fair to everyone else in the resuraunt if you decide to have a comfortable meal by letting your kid run free. Just as in the airline case, Vinny has the right to a comfortable ride there. In cases where children are running around in resturaunts or airplanes, I feel that it is the parent’s job to keep their kids under control instead of strangers.

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I would have turned around and ASKED the parents to stop him. If THAT didn’t work, I would complain to restaurant personel. I don’t care if it’s cottony soft-it’s RUDE.

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The parent’s job is to do whatever it takes to educate their child on how to act appropriately. If they can do that with heartfelt discussions, more power to them. If they can’t they must find some other way.

Everyone knows that there is no way to achieve perfection in this area, as in any other. But many parents are apt to ignore their children’s behaviour entirely, or seem to make only token efforts in this regard.

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Do we have to wait until Junior throws something that could cause injury before he’s disciplined? The most salient point about the child’s behaviour is that it “should be squashed”. Junior doesn’t know better … and never will if he’s allowed to hurl stuff at people without consequence.

And despite that fact that it wouldn’t kill me, I wouldn’t want a crushed piece of toddler-mauled paper ending up in my food.

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I agree with the OP wholeheartedly. The fact of the matter is, I don’t expect to go out nearly as much as I do now once my child is born. That’s part of parenthood.

Now, the thing that gets me are parents that let their kids run around resturants or theaters or whatever, while they blithly eat their meal. Sometimes, I wish I could stage a fake child napping, just to wake these idiots UP.

A young child can be abducted or hurt in a second. It is YOUR job as a parent to inconvieniance yourself to protect and control your child. It is NOT the job of everyone around you. Strangers either have no interest in babysitting your kid, or too much interest.

In my perfect world, everyone is strelized at birth, and reproductive rights are earned.

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Customers Suck is full of stories of kids running around in restaurants-blocking kitchen doors, tripping staff and causing accidents-such as huge heavy HOT plates falling on the kid or on the waitstaff.

http://www.stainedapron.com

Note-I do NOT approve of all the revenge and food sabotage on this site-however, there are stories of children causing near accidents and some almost SEVERE accidents at restaurants-and all because parents won’t say no.

I remember my philosophy professor saying telling us about a kid who kept coming over and pulling food off his and his wife’s plate one morning when they went out to breakfast!

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(Now, if I could only remember where I heard about this - probably from someone on this board. Please, let me know if you’re the person I’m stealing ideas from. :))

The Cult of the Child addresses the idea that our modern society has raised a normal love of your children into some form of worship for all children. That is, all people must feel at all times that all children are sacred and special. If you don’t, there is something wrong with you. Discipline is hesitant and timid, because the child is to be worshipped, not trained. Children must receive everything they want, because it is their just due. Parents are expected to sacrifice everything for their sacred offspring.

I, for one, am not buying this. Children are not actually special; children are human beings who are in the earlier stages of development, and have different requirements than adult human beings. The parents should provide for the needs of their children, but not to the point of worshipping them.

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Say it, Brother!

I’m going to hijack with my own restaurant horror story. A couple of years ago my wife and I went out for a late lunch one weekend. The restaurant was pretty dead, maybe six or seven other occupied tables in the whole place.

We had just ordered when a man and his son (maybe 4 YO) came in and took the table right across the aisle from us. As soon as they sat down, the kid started "Ooo daddy"ing. Okay, okay, he’s young, he’s out with dad, of course he’s going to be a little excited when they first sit down. We cut them some slack.

This keeps up, though, for several minutes. VERY LOUD “Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, what’s this, daddy, what’s that, daddy. NOIDON’TWANTTHEFRENCHFRIESIWANTFILLINTHEBLANK” Absolutely yelling everything he said. Then he starts whining about how he doesn’t like the decorations, the waitress is ugly, he wants more soda, etc. You get the picture. All of this at the top of his lungs in a virtually empty restaurant.

My wife, who is not a delicate woman, finally beat me to it by about two seconds. leaned across the aisle and, in a surprisingly polite tone of voice asked, “Could you please have him keep it down?”

He gave a patronizing smile and said, “I’ll try.” He then did nothing.

When the waitress asked how our meal was, my wife said, “Fine except from the screaming demon-spawn at the next table.”

They got up to leave a couple minutes later. The guy sent the kid down the aisle, stood next to my wife’s chair so she couldn’t get up if she wanted to and said, “I suggest you two don’t have children. You don’t have the patience for it.”

At this point I stood up very slowly, put on my most serious coldly malevolent look and said, “And I suggest you step your sorry, worthless excuse for a parent ass the fuck away from my wife before I take a step or, worse for you, give her an excuse to.” I had about a head worth of height on him, my protective gear was engaged and I was more than a little pissed off about how he failed to even try to control his kid and, consequently, ruined a what would have otherwise been a fairly enjoyable meal. My wife’s eyes got very wide; she’s only rarely seen that look on my face.

He said, “You have no right to talk to me that way.”

My response, “You have no right to block my wife into her chair and no right to inflict such a poorly behaved child on a roomful of patrons. Now get the fuck out of here, because I’m done talking.” I took a step toward him, he gave me one little snort, quickly turned and walked out the door.

My wife said, “Jesus Christ I thought you were going to kill him.”

I said, “I thought about it, but I thought seeing Daddy get his head ripped off his neck might have gotten the kid going again, and I just couldn’t handle that.”

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Ah, here we go! From The Stained Apron:

http://www.stainedapron.com/brats.htm
Scroll down and read Child From Hell

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I mostly agree with everything in this thread. However, I would like to point out I (as well as all of my siblings) were perfectly well-behaved in restaurants and other public places, and my parents never hit us. Mom was perfectly well capable of inspiring the fear of God in us without ever lifting a finger. Her feeling was that she couldn’t very well tell us not to hit the other little kiddies if she was whacking the crap out of us every time we turned around.

Obligatory story of child in mortal danger while parents look on, unconcerned: I was at Niagara Falls several years back, and there was a 6 or 7-year-old kid standing on the railing overlooking the base of the falls. Yes, you heard me. Standing. On. The. Railing. He was swaying back and forth, sort of leaning over and then leaning back.

I wanted to walk over and ask the kid’s parents (who were standing right there, doing nothing), “What the fuck do you think this is, Disney World? Do you think this is some sanitized for your protection RIDE? This is a HUGE FUCKING WATERFALL, and if your child falls into that water, he will DIE!” I don’t know, I think some parents become so accustomed to taking their kids to the amusement parks and places where really nothing can hurt you, even though it seems dangerous (roller coasters, etc.), they start thinking that the natural environment that surrounds them is the same way. Parents, there is no automatic safety shutdown on a waterfall. There is nothing preventing your child (or you, for that matter) from jumping in to a horrible death. For god’s sake, keep your children under control.

I wanted to walk over and yank the kid off the railing, but contented myself with saying very loudly within earshot of the parents, “Oh my God, look at that child who is about to fall into the water!” Not that it did any good.