I have a boy who is 10yo.
He still makes sure to bring all three of his favorite stuffed animals to my house on the weekends. (I’m a weekend dad.)
They pretty much stay ignored until he’s ready for bed. Then he gathers them all up for the night and goes to sleep.
I’m just wondering if this is any cause for concern. Should I start to ween him off these things or should I let nature take its course?
Let nature take its course. No matter how well adjusted he is to the “different households” structure he still is hanging on to something that is the same at both houses - sleeping with the animals.
When he is staying with friends does he take them there? Face it, he’s probably not going to have them at HS graduation so it’s not really a big deal if he needs this one small thing when he goes to bed to make himself feel better.
I don’t know my son is only 8 but I wouldn’t worry about it myself until he was in high school I guess. It seems like a problem that would probably take care of itself. I would think in your situation especially as a weekend Dad you should let him have his minor comfort.
Meant to add:
I wasn’t trying to be snarky about the different households. I am a single mom myself and we use stuffed animals to establish some continuity (back when we did visits).
If you try to push him to change, he’ll resist. Let it fade away on its own.
I wouldn’t worry about it. If he were insisting he needs them with him to get through a day at school I can see that being a problem, but at night? Nah. At least if they’re there he gets his sleep.
Yeah - let him have the stuffed critters. Continuity among the two households, plus a lot of kids need the comfort even if they don’t house-swap. (of course, my own kid illustrates taking this to the extreme: he’s 14, and loves every single one of his critters, and it’s hard to make enough room on the bed for the kid, with all the stuffed toys piled up. But he’s autistic and therefore not your average kid and it’s a battle we don’t think needs fighting).
I guess it’s cause I don’t know much about kids, but why would you worry about breaking a kid of sleeping with a stuffed animal? What kind of damage do you think it’s going to do him?
Yeah, it’s a little unusual for a boy of his age (not at all unusual for a girl that age, though–when I was in college, a lot of the women in my dorm still slept with stuffies), but it’s harmless. If he takes them with him to boot camp, his drill sargent will mock him in front of his fellow recruits and shame him into giving them up, but that’s really the worst harm it could do him.
It’s not even necessarily a sign of immaturity. I mean, a lot of adults don’t really sleep well when their routines are disrupted and need something familiar to comfort them. It doesn’t strike me as all that odd for a child to want that sort of continuity when his routine gets disrupted every week or two.
I can’t figure it out, either. Two of my boyfriends had giant stuffed teddies in college that they ‘fought.’ Did not strike me as anything but cute.
Please just let him do what he needs to to feel comfortable and safe. Especially since it’s private and not obsessive–just a routine he needs. We have people in the other thread saying they still sleep with blankies or stuffed animals–no big whoop.
My 13 year old still sleeps with the blanket that I made him when he was 5 or 6. I think it’s loving and sweet- traits I don’t mind supporting in a teenage boy.
This is actually the question I keep asking myself. I can’t exactly put my finger on it but I feel like there might be something psychologically unhealthy for the need of a “security blanket” so to speak.
That’s pretty much what I’m thinking. My boy still sleeps with his animals and he’s twelve.
We all have security blankets of one type or another. Terry Brazelton always said that it’s a positive attribute when a child has found a way to provide comfort to himself at stressful times (like bed time can be).
Sounds like he’s coping well- he has his comfort when he needs it the most and is fine the rest of the time.
Weekend dad here also, my son just turned 13 and still sleeps with a stuffed animal I bought him back when he was a wee tot. Of course back then he had 10 or so, mostly Beanie Babies, that he would carry back and forth so we’ve actually whittled it down over the years. I actually thought it was a problem too but turns out he only sleeps with it at my place and his mother’s house. Whenever he sleeps over his friend’s house or when they sleep over at his mom’s he doesn’t use. I’m not worried about it. Eventually it will be cast aside as he grows up. along with all his childish things.
As long as it’s not a “can’t sleep without” “hysteria ensues if they’re lost” situation, I’d say it’s a perfectly healthy coping mechanism and any age.
I told my ex-boyfriend from high school to go ahead and bring some of his stuffed animals to college if he wanted to, because women think it’s cute.
Please no. My mom took about half my stuffed animals away from me and donated them to Goodwill when I was about 10. She made me pick the ones I’d keep and the ones I had to let go. It was really traumatic for me; they were my favorite toys.
I love my mom and she’s a really good person, but that was a poor parenting decision on her part.
Leave the kid and his toys alone. He needs them or he wouldn’t cling to them. It’s obvious his mother lets him have them; how are you going to explain taking them away? And why in the hell would you want to deprive him of something that is obviously important to him?
ETA: Last edited by LouisB @ 7:30 PM. Reason: Replace poor choice in words.
Hell, my wife and I are in our mid 30s and the place is overrun with stuffed animals.
We, as adults, seek comfort in drink, cigarettes, porn, whatever. Why do we try to deny comfort to our kids? I vote to leave him in peace with his stuffed friend - he’ll move on when he’s ready.