Parents - this is why your children aren't allowed to run free in public

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

I’m not responding to the previous post, just stating this in general;

Parent’s allegedly “controlling” their kids isn’t a cure-all.

Back about four years ago, we took a family vacation to Florida, which included a day at Disney World. At dusk, as the immense crowd was wandering down the main street toward the castle for the nightly fireworks, I was winding my way solo through the crowd, family a ways behind, when this brilliant father, having his 6-7 year old son by the hand, decided to take a turn and forced his kid in a swinging arc that slammed him directly into my right leg and hip. The kid went down. Not wishing to be on the receiving end of any “how dare you hurt my kid” bullshit in the middle of a crowd of kids, I kept right on going. My sister later caught up to me and gave me an ear full about how it was all my fault.

No, it wasn’t. I was just walking along, minding my own business, certainly paying more attention than that father was, when he swung his kid into ME. (Of course, my sister was a gigantic ass the entire week and we didn’t speak for months afterwards, largely because I upset her by defending my younger sister and her need to care for her own small kids at the expense of Ms. Control Freak’s plans.)

I’ve been standing in book stores and the drug store and had parents of small kids coral their kids directly surrounding me to yell at them. Didn’t even seem to notice that I was right there in the middle of them until I voiced my displeasure. Once I was on my knees looking at books on the lower shelf and ended up with a kid on either side and the mother bending over me shouting in my ear. I stood up so fast I nearly head butted her in the face. She acted like I’d appeared magically out of the ground in front of her. I’m not a small guy.

Mother of a small child upon walking into a cell phone store I was working at: “I think all stores should be required to have a children’s play area.”

Another “mother” at that same store: “How am I supposed to buy (a) damned cell phone if you won’t let my kid play with them to see if he’s going to break it or not?”

I say, and will repeat here again:

The most selfish people in the world are the parents of small children.
Because they somehow believe that everyone else’s worlds should revolve around their kids.
Because you and I don’t exist except in how we might affect their kids.

We can all have this discussion until the end of time, but given our current culture in regards to parenting, they’re just going to keep pressing for the rest of us to sacrifice our interests and our rights in order to protect and entertain their kids.

62

The video is funny. Part of it is the surprise. Part of it is that it’s way more creative than getting conked on the head by a playground swing, which is what happened to all of my kids. I think one of them got kicked in the head by a ballet dancer, but that was in addition to the swing, and none of it was recorded on video.

63

This is bollocks of the highest order. Pure generalisation and prejudice and you should be ashamed.

You’ve had some bad experiences with stupid parents. So have I, believe me. I was manager of a bookshop in what you’d call a ‘mall’ and have had the lot, including parents who think my shop is a day care centre.

But not all parents are selfish, though. In fact I suspect most are not, otherwise these kinds of incidents would be much more common.

I am a responsible parent who happens to believe that a vital part of childhood is exploration and discovery, and that keeping too tighter ‘reins’ on your kids stunts them in one way or another. If my child inadvertently gets in your way I will apologise to you, and get her to as well. But if you tell me that children should not be allowed to roam free in ‘your’ public space, then I know who is being selfish.

Fortunately, as I have stated previously, I live in a country where children are celebrated and their presence in the public domain is seen as a good, and fun, thing. They are welcomed in shops, restaurants and other public venues. Comparing them to kids back in the UK I’d say they are way better behaved as well, but I admit I’m being subjective.

64

Petrobey had it right. Some parents are selfish asses when it comes to their kids. Instead of finding a sitter for a few hours to run errands, they schlep little Mackenzie around with them. Little Mackenzie gets bored and cranky, which means she’s going to be whiny and destructive. Mommy, who is also cranky, goes apeshit and demands that the world revolve around her and little Mackenzie because she refused to get a sitter. I myself have learned to run such errands when the sprog is at Gramma’s for the day; part of the reason she takes him is so I can do stuff like that, or I just do it when he’s in school.

American parents need to turn off the TV, get over the “pedos are everywhere!!!11!!!” mentality and get a damn sitter.

Robin

65

Kid just can’t catch a break. (Youtube)

66

I think realistically, parents of small children are biologically drive to be completely focused on their children and somewhat forget how the world around them works. My mom raised me to think about human behavior as a relation of how humans developed from an evolutionary standpoint. We are driven to focus on our young and protect them, and that might result in decreased awareness of how our actions affect those around us.

But I think parents being selfish is just an extension of those people being selfish. Like those people who get angry when you can’t bend around to their liking. With or without children, they are probably demanding, rude and self centered. Kids just amplify that.

67

I said that Group A (the most selfish people on Earth) consists of parents of small children (Group B). At no point did I say that ALL the members of Group B are members of Group A. This would be a Venn Diagram situation where you have multiple overlapping circles.

But again, at no point did I say “all”. This is an assumption on your part.

68

That would certainly be true in my experience.

When the most self-centered and demanding “other people’s rules don’t apply to us and we’ll happily ignore them” couple I knew became parents, it was only a few years before we became ex-friends. No one but them knew anything about how to raise their kids. No babysitter was good enough of knew enough or cared enough (not even close relatives), so they broke rules to drag their kids along. I just can’t say enough about how bad they were as both parents and friends.

69

It’s the “Cult of the Child” mentality you’re talking about, Chimera. They subscribe to the idea that children are special (and of course their children are even more special), rather than the idea that children are simply immature humans and as such need age-appropriate treatment instead of special treatment.

70

I apologise if I misinterpreted you, but it is a perfectly reasonable assumption to make:

If you don’t want to be misunderstood try “Parents of small children can be the most selfish people on earth”, it’s easier than resorting to verbal venn diagrams.

71

I work at Wally World, so don’t get me started on kids running wild.

I actually complement parents on their kids’ behavior when their kids behave. Depending on the situation, I tell them that, “I see a lot of kids running wild, but your kids are staying with you & doing what you say. Good for you, having them under control!” I nearly always hear “thank you” from the parents. Even if the kids were acting up earlier, the parents almost always keep the kids in check.

This reminds me of a recent episode. Mom rode an Amigo (an electric ride-on shopping cart used for mobility-impared shoppers). Two other Amigos were available, & she let her two kids, both under 10-yrs-old ride them.Panic ensued. I grabbed an associate from another department & we confronted the kids (mom was elsewhere). I told mom (with my manager’s backup) that Amogos were only for adult mobility-impared customers. As the kids walked away, I refrained from mentioning that they were kids, they could walk, and that mom was paying. I also refrained from mentioning mom-the-wimp.

Is there some bill of rights these days that mentions that parents aren’t in charge of their kids? It seems that I get yelled at more & more by parents because their kids broke something or ate something or otherwise messed up. The parents don’t notice, or pretend not to notice, or don’t seem to care. A kid grabs a sports drink off a shelf, drinks it down & puts the empty bottle on another shelf. Shouldn’t the parent pay for it?

Sorry, it’s been a long week. Thanks for letting me vent.

Love, Phil

72

Not the breakdancer’s fault, but I don’t see how anyone could find this funny. Sure, it’s not his fault, but the thought of a kick like that happening to my daughter makes me sick inside. I did not find it amusing in the least, and the comments on the YouTube site made sick.

73

I have no problem with saying that parents ought to keep their kids safe and, to the extent possible, not an annoyance for others. Certainly I would not allow a child to wander freely underfoot in a busy area.

I’m reacting against the absoluteness of some of the pronouncements around here, which to my mind indicate a mentality of entitlement every bit as aggrivating as the so-called “cult of the child”.

Seems to me that parents and non-parents alike need to use common sense and courtesy in using public spaces. The notion that everything is automatically 100% the fault of ‘the other person’ is the siren song of irresponsibility. Naturally, if everything is 100% the other person’s fault, nothing is your fault.

74

Disagree vigourously, when it comes to children. There is no way to ensure the 100% safety of young children, other than raising them in a plastic bubble.

75

You’re brilliant.

This is where being a sociopath really comes in handy. The video is awesome.

76

Again, I don’t think anyone has advocated 100% safety for children. What we are advocating is parents taking responsibility for the safety of their children in some places where either the child can be seriously hurt (parking lots and restaurants) or places where adults can’t reasonably be expected to be able to see small children underfoot (crowded malls, restaurants, airports).

And yes, I do think I am entitled to enjoy my life without other people’s children negatively affecting me in public. Don’t for a second think my attitude has developed in a vacuum; this is the result of many parents not taking responsibility for how their children are affecting other people for many years. I’m pushing back now.

77

Really? In the context of this discussion, what does “the incident was 100% preventable” and “Provable negligence exists in virtually every incident” mean to you?

To my mind, it strongly implies fault in every case. Nothing is an “accident”. Thus, presumably, 100% safety is achievable if only people were not negligent.

Raise the kid in a plastic bubble or be “negligent”.

I have nothing against parents taking responsibility for the safety of their children. What I dislike is the imputation that others have no duty to care about the safety of children, which strikes me as counter-intuitive, inhumane and, I suspect, very unlikely to impress a judge.

You may think you are entitled to expect that no-one will inconvenience you in public, but you are not, in fact, entitled to any such thing.

What you are entitled to, is to have others act with reasonable courtesy to minimize their negative impact on you - and you should, in return, do the same towards them. Whether you, or they, are parents or not.

Sometimes a certain amount of inconvenience occurs, because other people are slow to get out of your way because they are very old or very young, or suffer physical disabilities, or for any one of a number of reasons. Way I was taught was to accept this reality with a certain amount of grace. This does not mean allowing that old person to roll her walker over my toes, or that mom to allow her little hellions to scream bloody murder while running around like lunatics; it does mean accepting some inconvenience from others, so long as they act with goodwill, and not demanding a nuisance-free world for myself.

Indeed, I’ll go further, and say that as a general rule I go out of my way (and thus incur some “negative affect”) when out in public and I see the very old, or parents with young children; I’ll give up my seat on the subway, I’ll hold the door for them, etc. The fact that old people have occasionally been rude to me in the past does not change this.

78

As a person who has a dislike for children so strong that it is almost a phobia, I have really enjoyed reading this thread. I’m glad I am not the only one who does not consider it “cute” when someone’s toddler runs into me or grabs me with sticky hands or a runny, slimy nose. I really can’t covey the physicial revulsion I have when this happens. Admittedly, I have at times made it my personal mission to ensure that such a toddler learns a great new 4-letter word to share with mommy and daddy.

I would not let my dog run into you, so you shouldn’t let your kid run into me. If you can’t keep them under control, keep them home. It’s that simple. The entire world should not be made to be a kid-friendly place, because not all of us are kid-friendly.

Once they are about 12 or 13 I can deal with them. But until they speak in complete sentences, can wipe their own bottoms and know that screaming is not a form of real communication, I vote for the cages. :slight_smile: