Paris Hilton - a sign of the end times?

I was, somewhat, watching the Ellen* show this morning and Paris Hilton was on. Paris was of course her same ditzy, embarssing self, but Paris said she has 5…count them 5 movies she is working on, or will be out soon.

I had to pinch myself to make sure I heard that right. How in the HELL did we as a society allow this to pass?? What was I doing when Paris went from some trampy rich chick, to a movie actress?? Who the hell is casting this women? Does God hate us that much?

Please, please, someone tell me that it will be alright. That my unborn child will not grow up in a world that would allow Paris Hilton to become a movie star! I need a hug…

IMDB Profile…not for faint of heart

*yes I am a guy that was watching Ellen. To be fair tho, I was getting dressed and not really watching her…please dont tell my friends…

Thank god she’s going to be retiring next year. The stress that poor woman must be under… a lesser flake would have crumbled by now…

Hey, c’mon! Give the girl a break. She’s must be a decent actress…otherwise, how could she have pulled off stretch roles like “Girl on Beach”, “Strung-out Supermodel” and “Female Club-Goer”?

I dunno. After all the recent fuss about Tom Cruise’s dingbat medical quackery, one turns to a simple ditz like Paris with relief.

Why shouldn’t Paris be stupid? Brains would do her as much good as eyes would do a cave fish.

The weird thing about Paris Hilton is that I’ve never heard her talk. I always imagine she has an accent like Ivana Trump. Even when I saw her give her boyfriend oral sex, I had the sound off. I have started to wonder just how long I can go without ever hearing her talk. I have the feeling that my experience of her is the same as people who have heard her talk.

Aside from her sex tape I’ve never seen her move around either. I’ve only seen pictures of her and her head is always tilted to disguise the fact that the two halves of her face look like completely different people. But I still see her picture so much that I feel like I look at her for about five minutes out of every day. I think I even saw photos of her boobs taken with her own phone. I’m not 100% sure because I didn’t have time to read the caption. I might be projecting because I saw the word phone and when I got my phone, the first thing I did was take pictures of my boobs as I think most people have. Either that or down their pants. Just to test the camera. You’re supposed to delete those right away.

Well, I’m a total layman, but from what I’ve read & heard of how Hollywood works, most movies that are put “in the works” never actually get made. She has two movies listed as post-production; one of which has “National Lampoon” stamped on it, a guarantee of a must-miss, C-list casted bomb-to-be flick. We can only hope that the other three films that are “in the works” never do materialize.

That said, the only reason she is being cast in anything is because the gullible American public (including all of US, apparently) can not stop talking, posting or emailing about her. So what if we are constantly tearing her to shreds? The fact that we are paying attention to her is the bottom line that Hollywood cares about. And the fact is - they know what they’re doing. Certainly a large proportion of the audience for the recent “House of Wax” remake paid their $10.50 ticket for no other reason than to watch Hilton get a speared through the head. But the Hollywood exec’s don’t care why you went to see it, just so long as you paid money to see it.

Thus, the only way for America to save itself from that plague from Hell known as Paris Hilton (and that tag-on plague that is her mother) is to


A good first step is to simply stop wasting valuable message board space on her. So, who’s with me dopers? Who says we stop the madness and simply not speak of this travesty of a human being any longer? Let us never speak of her again. No more posting about Paris Hilton!

You know, my daughter loved The Simple Life and watched it all the time and yet the only thing I can remember ever coming out of Paris’ mouth (no, I haven’t seen the video) is “That’s hawt”. It sounds as if she’s from Lawn Guyland.

I am a guy, and I would watch that talk show, if it wasn’t on at 11 a.m. I used to listen to it on my radio, but not now that it broke down.

Art Vandelay, Architect, I am taking your advice.

I’m gonna cure my anemia with the irony in this post.

PARIS!!! You’re a member!!! Welcome. :stuck_out_tongue:

You’re watching Paris Hilton and Ellen DeGenerous, and you’re embarrassed for watching Ellen De Generous?!

Who are you talking about ? :confused:

So, as the number of Paris Hilton movies increases, the number of moviegoers decreases. Hmmm…

Whoa…whoa…whoa!! I wasn’t watching Paris Hilton, I was watching Ellen, and Paris came on! thats not the same thing!

You know, the art of and ability to act has never been a prerequisite for a movie star. The celebrité du jour will always find work. Now, why Paris Hilton want to further embarass herself, is beyond me. [omitted] long rant regarding why people get upset over something that unimportant [/omitted]

On top of it all, the media seems to think she’s pregnant. (And the “bulgy tummy” photos look convincing.)

We really don’t need more copies of those genes.

True. Of course, I would think actually being, you know, cute or attractive would help. (sighs.)

(No offense meant to anyone, but I can’t see why someone that dumb, ditzy, and PLAIN gets so much attention.)

But, she’s rich and obviously has no taste - so anyone could end up with her for their SO. <nodnodnodnodnodnodnod>

She’s starring in a movie with Jason “Jay” Mewes? I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry.

Paris. Meh, I’d hit it, but as a last call girl. Slap on some beer goggles, put in some earplugs and she’s Cameron Diaz.

Granted, I’m not in the U.S. She has something to do with Hilton Hotels, right?

I’ve not seen a picture of her (I think).

But it seems like EVERY SINGLE PAGE I read on the internet makes mention of her. Especially the SDMB.