The first of the trains, which I’ve just got off, is always very crowded, to the extent that it’s unusual for passengers getting on at the station I use to be able to get a seat. I expect to stand. This doesn’t really bother me personally, as I’m only on for one stop - a few minutes of travel.
On the train this morning, I noticed there would have been a spare seat, except that the young woman in the next seat had put her bag on the seat, and was clearly soundly asleep. This irked me slightly, because there are overhead luggage racks which would have easily taken the bag. I wouldnt have taken the seat personally, but there were plenty of other people who may have wanted to.
Politely asking “is someone sitting here?” usually does the trick in these circumstances, but as the bag’s owner was fast asleep, I’d have had to wake her up to ask it. Not something I’d have felt comfortable with, personally.
So I’m curious what the Dope feels: is it fair to use two seats like this? Would it be OK to wake someone? Does it make a difference that the sleeping passenger was a young woman and I’m a big burly guy with a shaven head and a beard? Would it have been acceptable to move the bag myself, or is it wrong to touch people’s stuff?
I don’t see what’s hard about that. If she was however what we would call a ‘knacker’ here in Ireland, then I might not even bother sitting there at all…
It seems very rude to take up 2 seats. I would have woken her up for her own sake though. “Excuse me miss, but you fell asleep and I didn’t want you to miss your stop…”
I’d wake her up, because it is the friendly and responsible thing to do. I usually wake up people in trains even if I don’t want their seat. I assume they have dozed off by accident, perhaps by lack of sleep. I’d be thankful if someone woke ME up, if I’d fall asleep.
Why? She might miss her stop, miss work, miss an important appointment she had to be at. Why else is she at that crowded train, if not to get somewhere in a timely manner?
Also, sleeping at a train is dangerous. Someone might do something to her. Or steal her purse. If someone put her bag in the overhead compartment, the bar for a thief stealing her purse is even lower.
Also, you say she’s asleep, but what if she is unconscious, or slipping off into a diabetic coma, or something like that? She could die on that train and no-one would help her, just thinking her rude.
Wow, seriously? People sleep all the time on trains around here- it’s the main reason they take trains to begin with, to catch those extra few z’s in the morning or unwind after a long day. It would never even cross my mind to wake every one of them up in case they missed their stop or had slipped into a coma.
I’d let her sleep, but that would definitely irk me.
I actually encounter that situation almost daily (bags sitting “innocently” on the seat) but since the owners are always awake, I have absolutely no qualms about taking the seat without asking for permission to sit there, especially if the bus is packed. It’s a seat for people, not stuff.
I wouldn’t touch someone else’s bag without permission, though.
I’m mostly with you here, except for the bolded part. If they need to get some more sleep, they may have to consider going to bed earlier. If have never slept on a train or bus and that includes the many, many times that I went to work after sleeping 2 hours or less the night before.
I assume neither of these trains are in New York? Because 'round here, people don’t seem to have a problem politely asking others to wake up and please move your damn bag.
I did some checking around. Interestingly, I discovered that everyone else on the planet isn’t you and may do things differently from how you would do them.
I’d move the bag. Without a second thought. And take the seat. If she woke up, while I was doing so, I’d smile and say, “Sorry, I was trying not to wake you! Just gonna use this seat, if that’s okay?”
So, just to make it clear I’ve got this right, you don’t as for permission to take the seat, but do ask for permission to move the bag? What if they refuse that?
Just to be clear, I didn’t mean to offend anyone - sorry if I did. It’s just that I know several persons who are always tired and, as a result, cranky or unproductive, so when they mention that they went to bed at 3 am on a weekday because they really had to binge-watch this or that, I tend not to have much patience for them. Ditto when perfect strangers drool on my shoulder during my commute, but hey, I’m sure that someone somewhere gets their kicks out of it.
But you’re right: not my life.
Well, I’ll say “excuse me” of course as I make my way to the seat and give them plenty of time to move their stuff, but I don’t think it necessary to specify that I’d like to sit and that, yes, a person has priority over a bag in a crowded bus. I’d never move someone else’s bag myself, with or without permission.
If I was going to be on the train for a while I’d move the bag and take the seat.
BTW, I used to sleep on the commuter rail train in the morning all the time. I was taking it all the way into the last stop at South Station, where they very loudly announced it was the last stop and walked through the train anyway to make sure it was empty. Considering that 95+% of train riders were going to Boston I’d see no reason to wake someone up to “make sure they didn’t miss their stop”, and I suspect you’d get yelled at for your trouble if you did.
What if they refuse that?