http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/News/story?id=277647
I have nothing to add, except it’s not funny. Okay, it is.
<Evita> Don’t grab my boob, airport screener!
The truth is I have no weapons.
In all my travels, I’ve followed all rules.
I bought my ticket
Please don’t molest me…</Evita>
Boobs, ass, shoes, pocket
Purse, cell, nose: frisk it!
Hands, wallet, watch, camera
Ears, feet, an x-ray image.
I came to the airport
In Lauderdale sunny
I have lots of money
I’m no terrorist bitch
“Secondary screening”?
Just what were they me-ea-ning?
Stop feeling my tits
I want to fly.
LOL!
She was one PO’ed Diva if you saw the interview.
“I don’t think there’s a passenger that would not cooperate to their fullest if they knew what was going on.”
Well, it sounds like they’re cooperating to the fullest anyway without knowing what’s going on, so, aside from some bad press, there’s no real advantage for them to change anything.
Want to ride a jet?
Get felt up, don’t like it?
It’s been three years, ma’am.
I guess she really was descamisad[a]. 
Airport screeners, airport screeners!
We are all shirtless now
Fighting against our common enemies:
Terrorists! Al-Qaeda networks!
Foreign infilitration of our flying schools!
I don’t blame her, frankly. TSA screeners are window dresssing and inconvenience does not necessarily improve security. These are people who couldn’t get jobs at the DMV.
Three months after 9/11/01, I was flying out of JFK while 6 months pregnant. After giving me a full-body massage I probably should have tipped her for, including all over my belly, the screener asked me if I was wearing a belt. I looked at her and said, “Did you FIND a belt?”
Idiots, and they haven’t improved one bit since.
This just proves my theory that some men will go to any length to feel up Patti LuPone.
And some women. Mmm Patti LuPone.
But I wouldn’t do it under color of authority and without appropriate reason or warning.
*Stand back, transport authority!
Because, you know… whatchya gonna get in me?
Just a little touch of star bitchery!
Feel me up, pat me down,
scan right through me.
Take if off, look inside,
like you’ll do me.
I’ve got nothing to protect
except of course for my source of dignity.
Aaannnnd, if ever you go too far
Cop a feel of this aging star
You know that I… will sue you.
Aannnnnd, if ever you touch my breast,
you won’t get a second’s rest
On broadcast news… I’ll bruise you.
Stand back, transport authority!
Because, you know… whatchya gonna get in me?
Just a little touch of,
Just a little touch of star bitchery!*