My father taught me to pee in the bathtub because it is easier to hit and it gets cleaned real good every time someone uses it.
You can get toilets with a #1 and #2 flush lever. If you do #1 twice, then you can pull #2 or two ones.
The sink is just so much quieter when you’re on the phone.
You can avoid this by shoving your shaft down the hole - provided that a) your sink has a removable cover and b) you have an average size donger. Extra care is advised if you have a waste disposal machine.
You disturb me.
this isnt something I was advocating, just a rather solid argument I got from a guy at work. the piss piling up in the trap is the best arument I have heard posted. and thats good enough for me.
Wash your hands with bleach when you’re done and that takes care of the piss pile-up problem.
If you really want to conserve water, just have a piss outside and wipe your hands on your shirt.
You advocating pissing on your hands?
It keeps bears away.
Dunno about you but after showering, my penis stays quite clean inside my trousers. My hands are touching all manner of dirty things, so I wash my hands before using the toilet. Beyond that, I’ve managed to go to the toilet for many years without pissing on my fingers, thereby negating the need to wipe them on my shirt.
You really need to practice stuff more, dude. :dubious:
Yes. absolumente si. This thread is exactly why I shelled out the money to become a member of this fine message board.
;j
It’s not inexperience, it’s just I’m shaking from my irrational fear of bears.
Good thing the wee keeps them away.
[Encouraged by SleepyDuck]You need to use your hands to guide your schlong out of its pouch?! Mine’s like a coiled spring. Soon as I’ve unfastened my trousers, he’s out of there.
Putting him back in, mind, is another problem…
OK…(encouraged by Roger Thornhill)…
SleepyDuck, wage-slaving at the time for the world’s largest athletic shoe store™ walks in to the store bathroom, where a coworker washes his hands before utilizing the urinal.
coworker:After handling all those shoes I like to clean up before handling the Johnson.
SleepyDuck:Dunno, dude. Sounds like it could be a good pickup line, you know, “It looks like 5 inches, but it smells like a foot”
True Story!
Good Night Eh-vah-ree-body!
Sheesh it’s so simple!
Just refill the beer bottles it came from
I I’ve actually done this while on my couch with my laptop and I set the full bottles on the coffee table
II It was the final table of a $250k guaranteed online poker tournament.
III The difference between spending 60 seconds running to the bathroom at the wrong time could amount to $50,000 or more in real world money
IV The biggest challenge was not mistaking the “new” for the “old”
V I’m a professional poker player averaging $70/hour
VI I get more aggressive when I’ve had a few, which is generally a good thing, to a point ← To. A. Point.
VII I came in fourth place, netting almost $20k on a $150 buyin
VIII Please don’t tell my wife
[QUOTE=Eleusis]
Sheesh it’s so simple!
Just refill the beer bottles it came from
The location says it all…
BTW, unless you’re drinking Mickeys, I have another slam for ya.
Well that’s a cheap shot.
I’m actually from Chicago… been “down here” for two years.
And no, I’m drinking Sierra Nevada Pale Ale tonight, but only because my home brew IPA needs another day or two to fully force carbonate in my three tap kegerator.
Smart guy 
P.S. Mickeys Big Mouth is malt liquor… why don’t you just drink Colt 45?
Yep, yer right. My funnin’ went a little over the edge. Peace?
And I’m not just saying that to get a taste of your ale. Seriously.
And FYI, I’m drinking Holland sewer water (as my friends call it).
I was thinking about posting that it is permissable to pee in the sink if…
[list=a]
[li]You are the Pope[/li][li]You are an aardvark[/li][li]Hi Opal![/li][li]You are illustratred by Dave Sim[/li][/list]
…but most of you wouldn’t get it.