Man, I’d love to read a transcript of the flight crews’ comments while that was going on! :eek:
It actually works rather well provided you stick your hand a couple of inches out the window, so the kleenex is in the slipstream. Failing that, you can find a low-pressure spot (e.g. by opening one of those “angling” type of vent windows that old cars sometimes have) and the kleenex will be wisked out of your hand.
I fully accept that there are places around the fuselage where pressure is higher than ambient, and that these will be poor choices for ejecting light objects. As David Simmons notes, toward the back (especially where the fuselage is narrowing) pressure tends to be lower than ambient and loose objects are likely to depart.
I used to use pee “bombs” (plastic baggies) and this led to a reasonable experience of ejecting objects from a glider at speeds up to about 90 knots. The pee tube is generally a better scheme.
Unfortunately, the female glider pilots I know say they don’t work very well.
A tired old “joke” was about the P-51 that was delivered by a WASP with the notation on the Form 1A “Relief tube used.”
I thought “poop suit” was Navy slang for any pair of coveralls, i.e., what one would wear on the poop deck. Was it a Navy plane she rode in? (F-15 would be Air Force, F-14 would be Navy).
Whoosh. 
A WASP was a female member of the Army during WW II (WAVES were their Navy counterpart), and given that the pee tubes were designed for male pilots, it’s highly unlikely that a female pilot could have used it successfully. Unless, of course, she’d had some “enhancements” done to her plumbing.
Are you suggesting you can produce a doodie heavy enough to break through a plane’s slipstream?
Close but not quite right. WASP (Women’s Air Force Service Pilots) were indeed associated with the Army but they were not in the Army. They were woman civilian pilots who wore wings and uniforms but were on personal service contracts with the Army to ferry airplanes from place to place, such as from the factory to a distribution point or Army Air Field and do other things such as tow gunnery targets. WASP’s in general were checked out to fly more types than anyone else around, all the way from Piper and Stinson light liason planes to B-29’s.
The Navy WAVES were actually in the Navy and were the equivalent of the Army WACS They were not pilots but did clerical and other non-combat duties and served overseas as well.
In his book The Martin B-26 Marauder J. K. Havener ends with a story about a WASP pilot.
"Now, to end this sad chapter on a light note. . .
Maraudermen had always been proud of the fact that they had mastered a ‘hot’ airplane and were prone to brag about it when in the company of contemporaries flying ‘that other medium,’ lights, heavies, or transports. Just to illustrate how all things change-and sometimes sooner than we’d like to admit-the story was often told during WWII of two macho ‘hot pilot’ B-26 transition instructors (combat returnees from the South Pacific) emerging from the operations building at (LAAF, DelRio, Texas one late summer afternoon in 1943)."
“They looked up in admiration as a lone B-26 zoomed across the field in a low pass at tower level, pulled,up in a steep bank, and made a tight, circle to approach for a landing. The wheels came down as the ship rolled out onto ,the final, followed by the flaps as its wings leveled for the touchdown, and it greased in for a perfect landing and turned off at the first intersection.”
“One pilot turned to the other and proudly exclaimed: ‘Now, that’s a man’s airplane!’ The second one replied: ‘You can say that again! Let’s wheel over to the ramp and see who this ‘hot rock’ is wno makes a fighter approach.’ Imagine their chagrin when out from the nosewheel well dropped a diminutive damsel of the WASP (Women’s Air Force Service Pilot), who had ferried the ship from the Martin factory in Baltimore.”
" ‘Is nothing sacred anymore?’ they muttered, as they headed to the club to satiate their deflated egos and wounded pride with shots of bourbon washed down with branch."
I’ve never been in the military, but I’ll second what Hyperelastic said. I’ve often heard of coveralls being referred to as ‘poopie suits’. I’ve always assumed that this was because of the seat, which occasionally drooped and made it looked as if the wearer was carrying a load.
I have a complete set (or two) of USN flight gear from the 1980s. I’m not sure if pilots wore or wear Nomex long underwear, but aside from underwear (Nomex or regular T-shirt and pants) this is the list:
[ul][li]Nomex coveralls (AKA ‘pickle suit’, because they’re green)[/li][li]G-suit (AKA ‘speed jeans’). Inflatable chaps that compress the legs and abdomen to keep blood in the brain so as to reduce the chance of GLOC.[/li][li]Survival vest containing survival kit, S&W .38 revolver, radio, flashlight, signaling equipment etc.[/li][li]Parachute harness (sometimes the survival kit is integrated into it)[/li][li]Life Preserver Unit[/li][li]Boots[/li][li]Helmet[/li][li]Nomex gloves[/ul][/li]The flying coveralls have two-way zippers so that the pilot can use the relief tube.
[*]Oxygen mask
Although difficult, it is not *impossible * for an unaltered female to use many of the designed-for-males relief tubes. I would not, however, wish to attempt it in turbulence.
In most planes men had trouble. When you are all dressed up in coveralls and so forth, with a parachute harness leg straps in the way you usually made a mess of it, wiped your hand on your pants leg and hoped you dried out before landing.
I’ll tell you for a fact, war is hell.
That’s funny, Form 1 is now slang for toilet paper - at least to USAF tanker aircrew. “Piddle packs,” sealable plastic bags filled with diaper gel pellets, are common in single-place jets for collecting urine. I think “poopie suits” are formally called “anti-exposure suits” now but I don’t think anyone dons them with the intention of poo-ing in them.
I found myself at 12,000’ about 2 hours into a solo glider flight and really needing to relieve myself last summer. I finished off my water bottle and then (literally) pissed away 4000’ of altitude trying to position myself to pee into the water bottle without the bottle moving the control stick sitting in front of my crotch. A - it was really hard to initiate the pee in the reclined position and airborn, and 2 - it was a small water bottle so had to stop mid-pee and empty the bottle out the window. It is definitely more effective to initiate the pour with the bottle well outside of the glider, even at 45 knots . . . if you ever find yourself in this situation.