Penguins die in crash, octopus uninjured

That is the headline link for this stirring drama of life and death on a Texas highway.

Could have been worse, though; could have been snakes in a lane:

No word on whether the octopus was driving.

I guess the octopus had a seatbelt fastened. Was one of the penguins driving?


Actually, an octopus would be a great driver. He could operate the brake, gas, clutch, steering wheel, radio, cell phone, and mirror all at the same time!

But could he get his eyes up high enough to see out the windshield? :dubious:

Or maybe a penguin was spotting for him. Yeh, that must be it, a seeing eye penguin.

The penguins are psychotic.

Obviously, it was a penguin-planned escape. The octopus was conned into it.

The octopus was female.

They always drive with one arm on the steering wheel. They use the other 7 to do their hair, apply makeup and eyeshadow, trim eyebrows, put both contact lenses in (at the same time) and give the finger to passing motorists.

Hence the accident.

The sucker, maybe. The tentacle, certainly. The finger? Never. How could you ever tell?

Naah, he just sort of let himself go floppy, reducing the trauma of the impact.

The penguins’ claim that the exotic fish ‘died’ in the accident is highly suspicious, IMO.

“Best Thread Title Ever” Debate Finally Resolved To Satisfaction Of All, local newspaper reports.

Honey, I’m sorry I’m late, I swear I wasn’t golfing, I ran over a penguin…Honey? Honey?

you didn’t see anything …

A drunk walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ‘How tall is a penguin?’ The bartender tells him about three feet.

‘Thank god! I thought I ran over a nun!’

Plus they´d have an excellent grip on the steering wheel.

Local reports say the penguin that was driving was distracted by a large, sweaty, mostly dead cat. The cat was quoted as saying “Akkkk Thbbtbt”

As an Indianapolis native, I for one will miss our late penguin overlords. :frowning:

What a sucker.

  1. Not all the penguins died. Most of them huddled in the ditch…only the stupid/brave/adventurous ones ventured out onto the roadway and died.
  2. If I hit a penguin I’d never drive again.
  3. It was the penguins from Madagascar trying to escape.

Who is driving? Octopus is driving! How can that be!?

Guy walks into a bar, looking very shaken, orders a shot.
Bartender says “Hey, buddy, you okay?”
Guy replies, “Lemme ask you something. How tall is a penguin?”
Bartender looks at him in confusion, but says “I think about three feet or so, why?”
Guy says “Because I think I just ran over a nun, that’s why.”

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your moderators.

Nah, it had something better, a permanent, transparent cushion of incompressible fluid. When will Detroit recognize the clear safety advantages of these liquid passive restraint devices and fill all passenger compartments with water? While snorkels coming through the roof might present a slight fashion deficit, surely most responsible drivers would opt for the added protection water provides.

But why stop at water? Why not offer drivers the liquid of their choice? Just think of the possibilities…