Here is what the OP is (rather awkwardly) saying:
We can all control our giggling, except when we can’t.
Who can argue?
mmm
ETA: Similarly, I can control when I fart. Except, you know, when I can’t.
I think the OP is misunderstanding the people who say “if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen.” The way I interpret that is not a fatalistic “well if I’m going to laugh I’ll just let it all out”, it’s simply that there are certain times when you just can’t stop a giggle coming out, on those occasions it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it besides leaving the situation or masking the giggle as a cough.
There are uncontrollable giggles when something just overtakes you, and then there is Ina Garten: I’m just going to take these green beans and put them in the bowl (giggle) and then salt them (giggle) and won’t they be delicious (chuckle snort tee-hee)!
The former is unfortunate and can’t be helped, though if it’s in an inappropriate place (funeral) or would really hurt somebody’s feelings, you should remove yourself or make every effort to subdue; the latter needs a smack.
What’s your stance on uncontrollable eye-rolling?
No, they were perfectly clear. One person said, for example, “Laughing is not a reaction people can generally control any more than the can stop yelping if they’re surprised.” That simply isn’t true. People usually can exert a measure of control, even if it’s not perfect.
In fact, this discussion occurred precisely because some of us suggested that people should try to avoid giggling during partner dances, lest one’s partner get the wrong impression. Others objected, saying, “Oh, but laughing isn’t something you can stop. If it happens, it happens” – and that’s simply a defeatist attitude, unworthy of civilized adults.
The people who say that it’s pretty much just gonna happen, that’s who.
In fact, your snide remark underscores my very point. It should be pretty darned obvious that there are times when we can control our sniggling, and there are times when we might fail to do so. This is entirely different from the claim that “Well, it’s just gonna happen.”
So I was right. 
Don’t you think it’s more likely what the people you are ranting about really meant was, “I’ll control my giggling as appropriate in social settings as much as I can, but if I am unable to that’s OK too”.
This made me uncontrollably snicker.
This. The giggles produced by a high-stress situation are a completely different animal that regular laughter. It’s more like trying to control hyperventilating when you’re scared, blushing when you’re profoundly embarrassed, or jumping when something startles you - possible, but really damn hard to do.
Did I ever contest that claim? No, I did not. Quite the contrary; I affirmed it right in the OP. I simply pointed out that you didn’t read the OP correctly, and so your criticism was unfounded.
If you want to trumpet that as a grand victory on your part, then by all means, go ahead.
That would be the more reasonable statement to make, as I have affirmed numerous times in this discussion. It’s not what they said, though. Some of us were saying that a bit of self-control is advisable, even though we can’t always stop ourselves. To which others responded by saying, “But that’s just not the sort of thing that most people can control.”
Obviously, that’s not the same as saying, “Yes, we should try to control ourselves as best we can, but we won’t always be 100% successful.”
Well, in their defense, there are a lot of dumb people, and they say a lot of dumb things. They also tend to get, “I like to do this” or, “I tend to do this” mixed up with, “I have to do this.”
The problem with the uncontrollable giggles is that family weddings and funerals involve my sisters, and they’re the ones who set me off (and vice versa). The best way to control it is to not look at them.
Very true. In fact, I think that’s ultimately what happened here. The people don’t even need to be particularly dumb, since otherwise intelligent folks sometimes say things that sound nice – perhaps even profound – but which collapse under any sort of scrutiny.
It’s kinda like the way educated, normally intelligent people sometimes say “Ultimately, there is no such thing as truth” or “People shouldn’t tell other people want they should or shouldn’t do.” They’re the kind remarks that will make a lot of folks nod their heads in agreement, simply because they sound so reasonable and profound. A careful thinker, however, would recognize that nice-sounding words aren’t necessarily true – and that in these cases, those seemingly profound words actually contradict themselves.
Ditto for remarks like “It’s just not the sort of thing that people can control.” As an off-the-cuff remark, it may sound reasonable to people who don’t pause to consider the words. It even sounds loving and tolerant, making people want to embrace it even more. I daresay that’s why folks can be quick to defend such statements, even though a moment’s reflection should show that they defy everyday experience.
I think this may be the first thread I have ever read where everyone is in agreement.
mmm
Unless they’re not.
Please point out where I “trumpeted a grand victory”. Just offering my 2¢ worth. Hell, I even included a smiley. Seriously dude, I’ll give you the win - it’s just not important to me.
Sorry still not seeing a big difference in intent… but whatever.
FTW
To know about the Giggle Loop is to become part of the Giggle Loop.
I had an attack of uncontrollable giggles at an aunt’s funeral. One of her daughters was doing a reading and misspoke and said “His cook and his staff shall comfort me.” My mother and I exchanged glances and it was all over for us at that point.
But since I had been crying up until then, I don’t think anyone could tell.
Bolding mine
In my, and it looks like everyone else’s, defense, the fact that your conversation was about laughing when it is inappropriate. The assumption is that everything humanly possibly was already being done to not laugh or giggle. In that context the statements of the group make complete sense.
This assumption seems to be shared by the majority of people responding to your OP and it could very well be that this assumption was shared by the people in the group making the statements. So maybe you just “aren’t getting it”.
Sorry, but your explanation makes no sense. Inappropriate laughing simply means that it’s done in an improper situation. Whether one attempts to stifle it or not is simply beside the point.
Your argument assumes that if someone is laughing inappropriately, then this person must have surely done “everything humanly possible” to prevent that from happening. Obviously, that’s not a logical conclusion to draw – though for well-mannered individuals, it would typically be the case.
But they can’t really help it, can they? Oh no, wait, actually they can.
This is a dumb thread.