People can't control their giggling? I disagree.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was chatting with some people today about situations in which people sometimes giggle or otherwise laugh inappropriately. One person talked about how her husband used break into extended chortling during funerals, for example. Other folks talked about having dance partners who would start to giggle out of sheer nervousness, presumably because they having some difficulty with the moves. This can sometimes discomfit the other dance partner because it throws the timing off – or worse, because it can sometimes look as though this person is laughing at his or her partner.

To my surprise, most of the people in this group said, “The thing is, giggling and laughter aren’t the sorts of things that one can control. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen, and you just can’t stop it.”

I just couldn’t believe that people can say such a thing. Personally – and this is where we get into MPSIMS territory – I think it’s pretty obvious that most adults CAN control such impulses, at least to a large degree. Most of us know better than to chortle at a funeral, for example, and if we were to feel such an urge, we would try to suppress it. Few adults would break into fits of giggling when taking a college exam or a taekwondo belt test, for example, even when they’re nervous. Quite simply, by the time we’ve reached adulthood, most of us have learned that there are times when we have to keep these impulses under control.

Now, I fully understand that some people have a harder time controlling their laughter than other folks do. I also understand that some people will tend to be more nervous that others, and that they may manifest their nervousness in different ways. That’s normal, and that’s understandable.

For the life of me though, I can’t understand how any reasonable adult can say, “Oh, if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. It’s not the sort of thing that people can control.” Of course then can! Not always successfully, I’ll admit. It is, however, the sort of thing that reasonable adults learn how to do, at least to a large degree.

End of rant.

2

Well, gee, if you’re not successful at controlling it, then, it’s going to happen, isn’t it?

I mean, isn’t this exactly the kind of thing these people are talking about? Everybody has been able to choke back a giggle in some inappropriate situation, but there are occasionally times when you can’t. I don’t think they’re saying it’s impossible for ANYBODY to suppress ANY giggle at ANY time. They’re talking about those moments where it really is damned hard. If you can suppress it, then it wasn’t an “if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen” situation.

3

With all due respect, you’re missing the point. I acknowledge that we can’t ALWAYS suppress these urges successfully. However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t control them at all. In other words, it’s a far, far cry from saying “Oh, well. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. It just can’t be stopped.”

There is such a thing as self-control, however imperfect it may be.

These people were not saying, “Oh, there are times when it’s damned hard and can’t be stopped.” Rather, they were saying that it’s inevitable and just can’t be controlled. That’s simply wrong, which is why I was shocked to hear grown adults make that claim. Grown adults know that we can OFTEN keep these impulses under control, even if it means that we may occasionally fail.

If they had simply said that there are times when one might lose this bit of self-control, then I’d have no quibble with that. To say that giggling inappropriately isn’t the sort of thing that one can stop, however – that’s not the sort of claim that any thinking adult should make.

4

Well, I’m going to giggle or I’m going to go SNER-K-K-K so I guess, you pick. I’m a big fan of letting people get stuff out of their system. At a funeral and you get the giggles? Quickly and quietly make your way out of the service and do whatever you need to do. Difficulty with dance moves making you nervous? Take a break to catch your breath and then move on. This stifling stuff is way too WASPy for my tastes.

5

There are times when it is well-nigh impossible to suppress laughing, no matter how self-controlled you think you are. Twice in my life this has happened to me, during times of high stress. Both times it ended with me prostrate on the bed, sobbing and laughing hysterically, utterly appalled that I was so out of control even though I had a decent excuse. There was absolutely nothing I could do to stop the laughing and eventually the crying, it just had to run its course. You know the classic scene from the movies where someone slaps someone who is laughing or crying hysterically…well, I think it would have helped! Now, a fit of giggles at a funeral…a smart person leaves the room and gets out of earshot.

6

Actually, I’m more in agreement with you than you realize. For example, when it comes to dancing difficulties, I specifically advise people to relax, compose themselves, and move on. Unsuppressed giggling generally makes things more difficult, and this reaction can usually be controlled just by relaxing and resolving to press on.

As for “letting people get stuff out of their system,” if you’re unable to control yourself at a funeral, then by all means, excuse yourself and deal with the laughter. That should be a last resort though, especially on somber occasions like this one. It’s best to at least make some attempt to control one’s self before choosing to leave the room. This doesn’t have to involve any “stifling stuff”; rather, it can involve distracting one’s self or choosing to focus on the solemnity of the occasion.

And oftentimes, that’s exactly how adults deal with nervous laughter – by relaxing and regathering their wits. We all know that by now, or we should.

Well, yeah. We’re clearly not in disagreement here, since I’ve said so a couple of times now.

My point (and I’m only saying this because I’m sure that some folks – not necessarily kittenblue – still don’t get it) is that we generally can exercise a measure of control. It may be nigh-impossible at times, but those are exceptional situations, not the norm.

Yep. Pretty much what I said before, right? :slight_smile:

7

So are you saying that people should control their giggles unless they can’t? Seem like a pretty dumb hypothesis. These people are telling you that they have tried to control themselves are not able to. Your position seems to be that they should be able too. Do you think they are not trying? Not trying as hard as you? Or just lesser beings, not able to be as emotionally superior as you? I’m not getting it.

8

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9

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10

At a funeral, it’s easy - just choke the laugh and put your hand to your eyes, and people will interpret your shoulder heaves as weeping.

It’s everywhere else that it’s difficult. But in general, I think I disagree with the OP. People already do control it as best they can - what’s manifest is that which they cannot control, therefore - annoying as it may be, there’s no point in getting uppity and displaying irritation over it (which I think is probably what is meant by the quoted fatalistic phrase about not being able to stop it).

If it was possible to control it, then the people best at that would be those who are trained experts in controlling their outward appearance - actors - and they can’t control it - therefore, it’s not adequately controllable.

11

I’m sorry but I can’t control it. It’s nice that you can but not everyone can.

I have a heck of a hard time suppressing giggles when someone is having a bad day. The last thing I want is for people to think I’m an insensitive psycho - but there’s no way to suppress it by my mental force alone. Cause you know… I’ve tried. Giggles come unvoluntarily, much like tears do when I’m very sad.

So I don’t get your point much. I mean, laughing out loud at a tragedy would leave the laugher in the worst position - not the other bystanders. He’s the one who will feel most awkward about it. So surely it’s not hard to believe that the laughing person really can’t keep it in, despite wanting to.

12

The OP is wrong. There have been times when I really tried as it was REALLY inappropriate and I could not stop. Just because the OP can doesn’t mean everyone can. That’s like saying no one should ever cry, as adults we should just suppress the urge.

Yeah, this.

13

I was going to come in here and disagree with the OP, but then I really read what he was saying, and I believe it’s the attitude that bothers him - correct me if I’m wrong, OP. That attitude of “Oh, well, it sucks.” There is a difference between “It never, ever happens,” And “I make an effort to make sure it never happens. Sometimes I still slip up but I do the best I can.”

These people aren’t even trying. They just accept it as inevitable and I firmly believe as soon as you do that you’ve lost anyway.

14

You should read the OP more carefully, then. I specifically said that there ARE times when one can’t keep it under control, despite one’s best efforts. In fact, I have said so repeatedly now.

I know that sounds a bit prickly, but really… I’ve said this several times now. In fact, I predicted that some folks still wouldn’t get the point, and I guess I’ve been proven right about that.

15

That’s exactly what I’m saying, and there’s nothing dumb about it. Control it if you can, and deal with it if you can’t. That’s exactly what mature adults do.

Yes, you obviously aren’t getting it. I have repeatedly acknowledged that there ARE times when people can’t keep it under control. In fact, I have emphasized this.

Perhaps you can help me out here, sitchensis. Please tell me if you’ve read this posting, and please tell me if you’ve read the previous postings wherein I have emphasized that it’s NOT always possible to keep it under control. Then tell me if this contradicts what you’ve said in any way.

That is exactly correct, Anaamika. And honestly, I’m not surprised that you get it. I’ve known for years now that you tend to make a better effort than most when it comes to understanding the posts to which you respond. Believe me, it is deeply appreciated.

16

Actually, I believe you’re mostly right on that point. I believe that most people DO try to control it as best they can.

My disagreement was with the folks who say that it just can’t be controlled. To a large extent, it can be. These folks may claim that there’s no stopping the giggles, and perhaps they do adopt a defeatist attitude when the giggles hit them. I’d wager, however, that when push comes to shove, most of these folks do manage to exercise a measure of restraint.

17

To be fair your OP was kind of rambling and it’s point was confusing.

From the OP:

… unless you can’t, right?

18

Good heavens! Thank you - what a kind compliment. And here I was just bitching about other people’s lack of reading comprehension the other day.
ETA: That kind of defeatist attitude annoys me too. It’s like when people say “I’ll never get thin! I’ll always be fat!” Well, either a)suck it up and be happy being fat, I am OK with that, or b) stop complaining and do something about it. Just sitting there and saying it like it’s a foregone conclusion is only going to fuck with your own head.

19

That’s because you jumped the gun. More about that below.

That’s because you didn’t finish reading that particular sentence. You snipped away a critical portion of my text. What I said was,

“I think it’s pretty obvious that most adults CAN control such impulses, at least to a large degree.” (Emphasis added.)

I also said,

“Not always successfully, I’ll admit. It is, however, the sort of thing that reasonable adults learn how to do, at least to a large degree.”

I was perfectly clear in stating that it’s not always possible to keep these things perfectly under control. If you failed to grasp that point, it’s because you jumped the gun in your response.

20

Believe me, I was tempted to make some snide remarks about reading comprehension in this thread. :slight_smile: I decided against it, though.

Very true. As I said, the folks I was talking about probably do exercise some discretion when push comes to shove. By their words though, they were saying that there’s just no controlling it, that there’s no point in trying to stop the nervous giggles. Hence my outrage – no reasonable adult would make such a claim, if they think about it carefully.