Let me try to channel Miss Manners for a minute, cuz I know she’s written an opinion on this subject…
Absolutely true that dressing up is a facade. So what. Part of what defines a society is the conventions we agree to; one of those is that we acknowledge the significance of an event by appropriate dress.
To those who call neckties “choking” or a “noose” – the problem’s not with the tie, it’s with your shirt. Get a shirt that fits around the neck when you button the top button, and the tie becomes a non-issue.
I was at a wedding recently. Heat of the summer. It was in a church… and there were literally people and baseball caps, shorts, flip flops and tshirts.
I got pissed. I wore my black suit and was sweating buckets and these assholes come to my friends’ (I was friends with both bride and groom) like it’s an f-ing minor league baseball game?
No more so than combing your hair. It’s about presenting an image of self-worth and in many cases creative expression. There are some who will be impressed and some who will get it and those that aren’t and don’t aren’t a factor.
In the office where I work I am one of the few people who dresses decently. We actually have one girl who wears T-shirts with bleach stains and holes, although I know she owns nicer stuff. The rest wear jeans daily. I realize we’re not working with the public, but we do work with doctors. Some of them may be assholes, but they’re intelligent, educated assholes who deserve some respect, and I just can’t understand how some of my co-workers can possibly feel comfortable talking to Dr. Bigshot (who is wearing a dress shirt and tie) when they are dressed like homeless people.
We recently hired an older lady to work in the office and she has expressed her shock several times at what her new co-workers consider acceptable work attire.
My grandfather always used to be dressed in office attire - slacks, business shirt, and tie. Even at home. He never ever wore jeans or t-shirt. If he was working in the garden or mowing the lawn he would take off his tie.
I saw a British movie from the 1950s once (Hell Drivers) which had a scene near the start that showed a workman operating a bulldozer. He was wearing a suit.
There is a famous British trucking firm called Eddie Stobart. The owner still insists that all his drivers wear a tie at all times. A couple of years ago, on a very hot August day, he caught one of his drivers sans tie and instantly dismissed him. Because tie wearing was in his contract of employment, the driver just had to accept the sacking.
It isn’t necessarily that simple. Many people just can’t stand to have anything fastened up against the trachea. Call it a phobia, perhaps, but it seems like one shared by many. I will not wear a choker necklace for this reason. The very name offends me.
I deal with the dress-up issue every day, because my idea of proper work attire is most often a skirt and top, pantyhose and flats. My coworkers have trouble finding tops that cover their midsections, or tops that don’t reveal cleavage. Their shoe choices are often bizarrely pointed toes with kitten heels, which are not comfortable when you are required to stand for your entire shift. I climb ladders and put away shipments in my skirt with absolutely no problem. We have a company meeting scheduled for tomorrow, and the biggest topic of conversation amongst all the managers/ assistant managers is not “What do we need to bring and how long is the meeting” but “Can we wear jeans” and the required second question, “Can we wear tennis shoes?” When told “yes, you can wear jeans if you make a $5 contribution of the Make-A-Wish Foundation” they get all giddy, but then get bummed out when told they can’t wear tennis shoes. Me, I’m showing up in my usual skirt/top/hose/flats because for me that’s more comfortable and less confining than pants.
As to the fat issue, I have been seriously overweight for years and found skirts and dresses to be much more comfortable and less confining, and I solved the chafing issue by wearing pettipants instead of a half slip…yes, I wear a slip everyday! Now that I’m thinner, the chafing isn’t so much of an issue, and I wear pants (to work) on rare occasions. But my biggest issue with being fat and wearing pants was that pants showed everyone every lump, bump, bulge, roll, gut and thunder thigh in excruciating clarity. In a skirt, there was more mystery about how bad I really looked. If I didn’t like seeing fat women in pants, I figured no one wanted to see ME in pants, no matter how much they all said “why don’t you ever wear pants?” When I would ask them if they really, really wanted to see every curve of my fat belly and butt, they usually agreed that skirts were kinder to them!
I kinda think it is that simple: it’s still a problem with the shirt (specifically the button at the neck) and not the tie. Someone who can’t stand to have anything fastened up against the trachea would never wear a shirt buttoned all the way up to begin with, let alone a tie.
(My Tie Credentials: I’m not a guy, but I went to British public school for two years and wore a necktie (no clip-ons!) as part of my uniform every day. I can still remember being in the locker room after gym class and having to get one of the girls to show me how to re-tie my tie. And, when I got out of college and started working, I sometimes wore ties to work with an untucked oxford – weird look for a guy, somehow worked for a woman. I built up a nice little collection of dress and novelty ties. I haven’t worn one in years, but I still have them!)
Well, I would say so. What you need is a light-colored suit. A cheapie seersucker or linen one will do. And don’t worry about rumples; people expect them.