I remember in High School I was supposed to meet with my Social Studies teacher during a free period to discuss a term paper I was writing. I was just about to leave study hall to look for her when she walked in. I smile and say “Oh good, the mountain came to Mohammed”. She gave me a snarl and quickly spoke to me and left in a bit of a huff.
Did I mention she was incredibly overweight? I later dawned on me that she might not have enjoyed the “mountain” reference.
Or, “I"M JUST LOOKING!”
I didn’t ask.
I’m loving the snarky replies to the extra legroom lady! Yeah, if I hadn’t needed that job so badly I probably would have made some kind of retort along those lines. The urge to play the one-upmanship game was painfully strong. Gotta say that aside from her little outburst she was quite normal compared to some of the more…unbalanced callers who got through to me.
Pish-posh! I don’t need extra leg room, I need extra room for my over-sized penis!
(one-upmanship!)
Re: cleaning other people’s houses, I can actually see how this would be offensive to the clean-ee. Even if the clean-er had nothing but the best intentions and was making no judgment on the clean-ee and the state of his/her house, it still forces the clean-ee to confront the fact that they weren’t doing a good job of housekeeping. It’s sort of a reminder of a failure. (This is probably a worthwhile thread topic, if it hasn’t been one already. Not that I’m starting one.)
My most recent encounter with a “weirdest thing” involved that old classic children’s bedtime book/tool of female oppression “Goodnight Moon.” My MIL and I were discussing children’s books we’ve both ended up with for my toddler son and how some of them are pretty lame in terms of educational or interesting content. She mentioned “Goodnight Moon” and allowed that saying goodnight to everything in the bedroom was a nice thing to teach children. But then she noted that one of the things that was said goodnight to was “an old woman whispering ‘Hush.’”*
“Hmph. Why did it have to be WOMAN?”
WTF?
*In the book it’s actually "a quiet old lady who was whispering “Hush.” But we didn’t have the book with us, and MIL referred to the “woman”, so it wasn’t the term “lady” that she objected to. (Not that I’d understand that either.) It was definitely the gender of the person saying “Hush.”
The Goodnight Moon thing is odd. Did you ask her about it?
“An elderly person of irrelevant gender whispering, ‘It’s none of your damn business.’”
Department Secretary: “Since you are turning in your timesheet late, I need you to take it to M. in timekeeping”
Kevbo: “I don’t think I know M.”
DS: “She’s that cute redhead”
K: “Oh yeah???”
DS:“Now now, she’s married.”
K: “Happily?”
DS: <bursts into tears> “I wouldn’t know…some of us aren’t theeeeese daaaaays”
Nope. But I’m married to her daughter, and I did glean a little bit of insight into where some of my wife’s weirder flashes of feminist ire come from.
I dunno, maybe someone should write an updated version with a male character instead. An old man, sitting in a rocking chair and watching a child go to sleep as he whispers.
“…and a comb, and brush, and a bowl full of mush, and a creepy old guy whispering ‘Hush.’”
I think Metallica already did that with “Enter Sandman”: “Hush little baby, don’t say a word / And never mind that noise you heard . . .”
“It’s just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head …”
\m/ >_< \m/
