People radically changing their political beliefs based on their new partner's.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Has anyone else been shocked by a friend completely changing their previously liberal outlook when they start dating a guy with very conservative views? I have two, coincidentally both women. Doesn’t mean men don’t do that same or that it doesn’t go the other way (conservative to liberal), these two are just my experience.

One, a former co-worker. Not vocally liberal, but I was a conservative at the time and she would pretty consistently express her (friendly) disagreement when I’d talk about something from a conservative point of view. Educated and reasonable in all respects I can recall. Certainly, at the time, not someone who would vote for Trump.

Then she met a guy, and in the years since has become a gun-collecting, CNN-bashing, prepping, climate denier.

The other I went to college with. A liberal, liberal arts college. She did performance art, married an artist, taught at a Montessori school. Then she got divorced, hooked up with an ex-cop, and now today was raving about increased unemployment. In the recent past all of the other tired old conservative bogeymen have been showing up as well.

What the heck is that all about? How can you live for years with one outlook, then make a complete turnaround based on one guy? Even if he’s otherwise a great guy, and in both these instances it appears that they are.

People change their views; I get that. But it’s usually pretty gradual, and I don’t think usually tied to one particular person. But I could be wrong.

Like I said, I made a complete 180, but it took me a good 10-12 years and was a gradual process not tied to any one person.

It probably shouldn’t frustrate me, because it’s not my business. But especially it the latter case, it was really disappointing for some reason. I used to consider that person one of my more empathetic friends for a long time, and now she’s gone full McConnell.

Anyway, similar anecdotes, opinions, thoughts?

2

It is an interesting topic. I am one of 11 siblings- children of the 80s and 90s to a generally conservative, but still single issue = anti-abortion, voters. 3.5 of the siblings are raging Trump supporters and the other 7.5 range from liberal to very liberal both socially and economically. (0.5 in both camps is the youngest and went ROTC and is only in his 2nd year of Navy so he is still maturing and moving left even though surrounded by a more conservative crowd.) There is a strong alignment across the board with spouses aligning closely with their partners in politics- with one exception with a middle sister who has an “economically” conservative dentist husband. I would generally say that the spouses were further right or left and almost pulled siblings further toward the spectral ends. Sisters tend to be spectral left, but the married two are definitely to the right.

So, that is all to say that your observation doesn’t surprise me, I think conservative thoughts manifest themselves more in an echo chamber so until there is a partner there, they may not be particularly noticeable. Caring about others and the world as whole is harder if one isn’t as cognizant of it through reading and introducing new information. I really hate to go there, but in my admittedly biased opinion the smarter the sibling (judging fairly with how they performed in college- which is easy as 7 went to the same university), the more left/progressive/engaged with the world they are. There is 1 exception, but her marriage is the newest and first to crumble as she did a strong pivot towards guns and motorcycle racing. And to put it bluntly, her husband is a tool . Now interestingly, I have never met a couple where I thought the husband did a 180 in political beliefs…

3

I will state that there was one calendar year when I was a card-carrying member of both Young Republicans and the SDS. And yes, I did have the cards.

This was a very quick political progression precipitated mostly by hormones. I was young then. This wouldn’t happen now and I have the marital strife to prove it.

4

Well ‘hormones’ and ‘young’ is a somewhat reasonable explanation. I’m talking about women in their late 30’s-40’s.

5

I’ve always wondered pretty much about those who embrace a new religion when they start seeing someone.

Like, yesterday she was a Catholic, and today she’s saying the shahada and wearing a hijab?

I don’t get it.

6

About 15 years ago I had a girlfriend from the Deep South, an avowed Republican. I am more or less a Northeast socialist type. She told me that mixed marriage was ungodly, or an abomination, something like that. I asked her, why do you think that? Her answer was, that was what she was taught. We discussed it and she changed her mind. So, there you go.

7

My ex and I had a leitmotif. When politics came up, she’d put on her nasal cheerleader voice an say “My boyfriend says we’re Democrats”.

8

Only anecdotal, but in my past I knew two women who I observed had a uncanny pattern of adopting their male partners interests, tastes and attitudes.

Once they would break up, and move on to a new partner, lo and behold they would now morph into that partners interests, tastes and attitudes, and abandon their old ways.

At the risk of armchair psychoanalysis, I couldn’t help but conclude that they were so needy of male attention and approval that they suppressed their own needs and personalities completely for the their partners.