People who know all the answers, but their life is crap

In My Humble Opinion
61

I love, love, LOVE one uppers. And people who lie and make up stories. It is the weirdest thing…I love it but I cringe through the whole thing and feel SOOOOO embarrassed for them. There was one in particular at work who was the WORST with it. I mean, it was obvious that he was lying most of the time. I remember when he told us that at his wedding, all of his old navy buddies were going to be there, holding up swords for him and the bride to walk through.

We had never heard about him being in the navy until this other co worker told a story about his own Navy experience, so we knew he was lying. Imagine my shock when we went to his wedding and their really were fully uniformed soldiers there, holding up swords! Heee! Even a lying clock is right twice a day.

But yeah, the cringeyness of it appeals to me in a very odd way. I recently discovered reddit’s cringepics forum and I get some good cringies there.

About fat people giving advice…many fat people know how to take off weight, because they’ve done it plenty of time. But don’t bother asking a fat person how to KEEP the weight off. We have no idea.

But, yeah, like many have said, plenty of ‘losers’ give good advice out of the wisdom of their failures. Others have no desire to obtain the things that they are trying to help you to obtain.

62

When I read the OP, I thought of the type where something is really wrong with them rather than simple knowitalls who could pass for normal but for their mouths.
Let me paint a picture:
Middle aged male, 50 lbs overweight, coke bottles, black velcro shoes, dark brown poly slacks with ratty black tshirt partially tucked, poor combover, dandruff on the shoulders, police scanner blaring on his belt. He’s probably never worked a job or even lived on his own but loudly knows everything about you name it. I’m not sure what condition or disability he has but I think everyone has seen him before. These guys are just sort of sad.

The workplace busybodies are fair game.

63

I don’t have a problem with this since the person is not claiming unjustified status.

That may be so, but I suspect a lot of people lie about their desires – both to themselves or others. “I could easily do X if I wanted to, but Y” is something I have heard many times and a lot of the time is sounds like a lame rationalization.

64

I know it sounds like a lame rationalization, but if there is one thing we humans must learn to do, it is accept that not everyone values the exact same things that we do. I know it is hard to believe, but I promise you, it is true that there are many people who pass up opportunities that you might cut your arm off for. The thing is, only real blowhards end up actually bragging about it. Most class acts don’t even bring it up.

ETA: I should add that I agree, many people do lie to themselves about what they really wanted to achieve.

65

I once worked with a woman about whom two things were immediately obvious: she was really overweight; and she was very religiously moralistic, pointing out every little “sin” in others.

One day she came by and told us about her weekend at an Amish retreat. The women, she said, dressed to cover up everything, even their wrists. Wagging a finger at us, she scolded, “You men can’t handle it!”

I’m used to having religious assholes pontificate, but being accused of being a sex maniac (or even a rapist) because of my gender was a bit much.

I acted like I had a serious theological point to argue with her. “Pat, I’ve never had a problem keeping my hands off the ladies unless the feeling was reciprocated. But then, I’m an atheist. I assume these Amish men are all Christian?”

She nodded yes.

Smiling broadly, I declared, *“There’s *your problem: apparently, *Christian *men can’t handle it”.

She wasn’t too pleased with that.

Later, Pat lost a lot of weight. And what happened next? Yep, she started lecturing everyone on their “unhealthy” diets.

After she had retired, I learned from another co-worker that prior to my working with her, Pat had been dumped by her husband. (Who I assume was Christian? Ouch!) After getting divorced, Pat went through a period of promiscuity very much at odds with the morals she espoused later.

So that’s one possible explanation for such people. They figure that if they lecture all of us on our shortcomings, we won’t notice that they’ve fucked their own lives up.

66

Well, that’s telling them. Or not.

Q: Have you ever considered actually saying something to their face? A Classy Dame ® like you seems like a straight shooter, not a behind-the-back crap shooter. I’m sure you’re not sore at being shown up as an idiot
or something petty like that, so why not tell us what you did to improve the situation? I mean, you know all His answers, right?

67

Lately I have been seeing more and more people who have chosen unconventional routes for themselves. These people probably have always existed and it is just me who is finally getting a clue. But I just have to say that I really like that everyone doesn’t value the same things. Not everyone wants a house with a big lawn. Not everyone wants to own a car. Not everyone wants to marry and/or have kids. Not everyone wants to fit into stereotypical notions of gender and race. Not everyone wants to follow religion, become intelligent, or fall in love. I think people wrongly assume they do want these things when in actuality all they want is to be “normal.” If being “abnormal” lost some of its stigma, we’d all be more free.

Or they have no desire because they know what kind of mess you’re about to walk into and you just can’t see it yet. I would never quit my job and start my own business because I know how much I like getting a steady paycheck and being stress-free. If someone starts talking to me about their crazy get-rich-quick scheme and it’s clear they have given no thought to the downsides, I don’t know why I should hold my tongue. You don’t have to be Bill Gates to know that starting your own business is very risky and that you should do certain things before launching into it. If they don’t want to listen to me just because I don’t hold an MBA, that’s on them. But that doesn’t make my opinion or my advice “wrong”.

A person may also have good advice because they have first-hand experience with a piece of the puzzle that isn’t very obvious. For instance, if you’re having relationship problems with an introverted person, another introvert may be able to help you come up with some useful techniques. Even if that introvert has never been in a relationship.

We all have some area of expertise.

68

I agree . . . but as you seem to agree, it’s a case-by-case thing.

Why would you think it’s hard to believe? I have no problem believing it.

69

Here are a couple other hypothesis:

  1. They enjoy the feeling of superiority which comes from instructing/admonishing other people.

  2. They are trying to fool themselves into thinking that they have their (^*(^ together.

70

[QUOTE=Count Blucher]
Q: Have you ever considered actually saying something to their face? A Classy Dame ® like you seems like a straight shooter, not a behind-the-back crap shooter. I’m sure you’re not sore at being shown up as an idiot
or something petty like that, so why not tell us what you did to improve the situation? I mean, you know all His answers, right?
[/QUOTE]
)Have I ever considered saying something to whose face? The example I gave is something my ex and his buddies would have said to each other in regards to the phrase “a lot about nothing”. I’d answer your question if I knew what you were asking me. Maybe you can rephrase?

71

Given its a third party and not you, I’m just not sure what I can ask you then. Its a little late for a game of ‘straw men 9-pins’ (no matter what type of feminine hygiene product they prefer).

72

I just want to say there is not necessarily inconsistency or hypocrisy here.

There are plenty of times you can offer advice to others that is either not applicable or not feasible for you to do yourself.
You may as well say to a football coach “Well if you know the game so well, why don’t you play?”

(agree though obviously that some people are in denial / procrastinate / like lecturing people or whatever)

73

I agree but I don’t think that’s what the OP had in mind.

74

[QUOTE=Count Blucher]
Given its a third party and not you, I’m just not sure what I can ask you then. Its a little late for a game of ‘straw men 9-pins’ (no matter what type of feminine hygiene product they prefer).
[/QUOTE]
Uh, ok. I still haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about, or what bone you’re picking with me. I guess you’ve settled it with yourself though. Happy Monday! Xo