When taking a walk and you see the same people, usually seniors, sitting on the front porch do you usually greet them? Does it cross your mind they may be open to a random visit? What would be the cues you might get from the senior that they are open to a visit?
My girlfriend takes regular neighborhood walks with her little dog and has made several friends with seniors in the area that sit on the front porch and watch passers by. Sometimes she complains they keep her talking a little too long but over all I think they are both better off for the little visits.
I walk a round town for exercise a lot and if I see people sitting or doing something outside I will at least smile at them. Since I tend to walk the same route some of the people have started to recognize me and the smiles have turned to waves. In a few cases people have approached me to make conversation (mostly to say they noticed I had lost weight, which is nice since that was the reason for walking). What’s funny is none of the people in question are seniors as the OP assumes. They all seem to be around my age or slightly older or Moms with kids.
Either way it would never in a million year occur to me to just walk up to one of them to start a conversation.
I have been doing some in home services work lately and it really has driven home how lonely some people get. I only deal with seniors so that’s tends to be my reference point. Another thread here about front porches made me think of this.
The thread title reminds me of Old Man On The Back Porch by The Presidents of the United States of America.
Our street is a popular one for walkers. There’s Creepy Bald Guy with his hip dysplasia-affected American bulldog. He walks for miles every day. He has a stroller for when his dog is too tired to walk (and the dog always looks very happy when he’s riding). There’s the older woman with her vanilla lab. There’s the Indian woman with her little granddaughter. Sometimes the granddaughter parks her training wheel-equipped bike in our driveway, because of the hill going down to the beach. And, especially this time of year, there are families going to, and coming from, the beach. On the 4th of July there will be hundreds of people walking by, and plenty of vehicular traffic.
But we don’t have a front porch. If we’re out, we’ll wave or smile at the passers-by. Mrs. L.A. will talk to the woman with a hippie name as the latter walks her little dogs. The only time we hang out out front is the 4th of July, when we take out our camp chairs and sit in front of the house to watch the fireworks.
We spend a lot of time on the deck. The woman who sometimes stays in her trailer next door (who obsesses about a property line dispute that was settled 25 or almost 30 years ago) can sometimes be heard if she has guests. Mrs. L.A. heard her say to someone, ‘They just sit out there!’, referring to our hanging out. Hey, it’s a great deck. Why wouldn’t we?
I’m a front porch sitter, as is my neighbor, and we share a porch. She has lived in her side of the house for almost 70 years. so she knows a lot more people than I do.
If somebody waves I wave back, and if they want to stop to chat that’s cool too.
What I do wish though is that some of the walkers would lower their voices. I hear some conversations that while a bit amusing, are not kind of not the things I really want to hear.
The other day I was sitting out and I could hear the voices before I could see the people
Woman: I told him there is NO WAY I am going to do that, how would you like it if somebody shoved something up YOUR ASS?
Man: Said something I couldn’t hear
Woman: I told him that it is GROSS and DISGUSTING and I’m not doing it
The man at least had the decency to look a bit embarrassed when he saw me.
Then again, how else would I have found out that the Redneck version of ‘Bros before Hos’ is ‘Dicks before Chicks’?
So all you walkers out there, know that your voices carry.
Similar to Sahirrnee, I am a sitter. If people wave or stop to converse, fine, if not fine also. I’m not looking for someone to talk to, but recognize that I’m accessible to people passing by when porch sitting.
Similar to some others in the thread, I’m more of the porch sitter than the walker and am occassionally greeted by passersby. I look up as they pass in front of me, smile and nod, and let them take it from there. It’s usually little more than ‘Hi’ and ‘Nice day we’re having’ type stuff but sometimes they’ll stop for a chat. A typical icebreaker is to ask about my flowers. It happened a lot more during the nearly two years it took to complete a major renovation a few doors down. Folks were curious.
I can’t say there are many elderly people on porches here, though.
Closer to OP’s intent were the morning mall walkers. I worked at a coffee shop in a shopping mall shortly out of high school and there were a lot of retired regulars there for the climate controlled exercise. Some of them were fascinating, funny, and crackling smart. Others did have the whiff of desparate loneliness. There, if the interaction started to run a little long, it was easy to find something that needed attention in the back room, by the other counter, a coworker needs help with something, or whatever.
I usually wave at people sitting on the porches and they wave back. I imagine if they were interested in more interaction, they would start a conversation like, “How’s it going?” or “Lovely day, isn’t it?” This is what I would do if I was interested in more interaction.
The people in my neighborhood who sit on their porches usually have other folks sitting out there along with them. Or you can hear voices coming from inside. I’m sure there are some loners out there, but they aren’t the norm.
Growing up I lived in a neighborhood of older houses with big wraparound front porches and a walking park (long strip of green area at the top of a river bank). Everyone talked to the sitters and passers by, shouting back and forth across the street. Of course we were a neighborhood in the truest sense of the word. We all knew each other and I treated regularly.
In recent years, I haven’t had a home with an actual porch, so some of the neighbors would open their garage doors, sit in law chairs and chat. When walking by with my dogs, I would usually say hi if I knew them, but rarely would an actual conversation ensue.
I miss those old wraparound porches - I wish I had one on my house! I have a small front porch - more of a step really - and a larger back patio. I’m usually on the back patio, but sometimes I sit out front on the concrete steps to watch the neighborhood activity, and yes people greet me and I answer back, sometimes folks will come up and sit to talk for a bit.
I’m the neighborhood walker. I’ve gotten to know many of my porch sitting neighbors over the years. If they say “Hello,” I respond and compliment them on something. It’s led to some good friendships.
Unfortunately my front porch faces directly west. It’s too sunny to sit there of an evening, but I have a nice wicker chair and table out there for morning coffee and smokes.
I once had neighbors across the street who would sit in their lawnchairs in the driveway. I got along great with them, but I hated that every time I left the house it was like I was on stage.Some day I just didn’t feel like putting on a performance.
Growing up we had a sittin porch as did all the neighbors. In the summer everyone was out sittin watchin the chillins play and yelling at us to stay out of the street.
My grandmother had an old couch and chair on her front porch and would sit out there a lot in the warmer months. She lived across from the school and like to watch the kids playing on the playground.
I wave or speak to people.
Yesterday I went across the street to admire the neighbor’s sportster. I didn’t know they made them in 1200 cc.
I heard a fight developing across the street from Mama Plant’s house. I pulled up a lawn chair so that he would know there would be a witness to killing her.
He: “You’re nothing but a drug addict and a whore!”
She: “I am not a drug addict!”
