I think it depends on the reasoning of the person. Are they merely generally unattracted to people of that race, or do they have actual beliefs that say they shouldn’t be? The former is a perfectly fine reason to filter, the latter is not. Sure, they may be missing out on the person of their dreams who just happens to be the “wrong race”, but no more than someone slightly too old, young, fat, etc.
And I must point out that the reason for anti-racist legislation is because some races are definitely worse off when discriminated against. But that’s nowhere near clear cut with dating.
But, even if it was, I couldn’t support the government getting involved. We are in a democracy. Yes, it is a liberal one, but you can not use that liberalism to turn the country into a totalitarian state. We still get to choose what powers the government has. They’d have to convince us that interracial relationships are better, and, once they did that, what’s the point of making a law?
[QUOTE=athelas;12141848
What do you think?[/QUOTE]
I think it’s called preference. I think what we’re attracted to may change over time but it’s not something one may conscientiously change. Have you ever considered that sexual attraction may be a positive correlation for racism (e.g. Strom Thurmond, Lou Dobbs, etc.) in some individuals?
Okay, as thread has gone on for almost 9 hours, and no one in inter-racial marraiges or relationships have said anything, I must assume that we are in as big a minority here on the Dope as we are in RL, I guess I have to bring my unique situation to this discusson.
I am an Italian-American male originally from the NYC area, who is married t an African-American female from North Carolina. She also has a good deal of Cherokee in her, making our son multi-racial.
I get a lot of people (including my family) asking me why I married a black girl. I didn’t marry a black girl, I married the woman I love, and she happened to be black. I think that people who immediately exclude a race when using a dating site are being racist. If you fill out the dating questionairre, and it matches your personality with someone of another race, why not give it a try, if not for racism? The only way you can blanketly omit a racial group is due to stereotyping, IMHO.
I must also say that my work environment is one of extreme racial tolerance, and it leads to a very diverse dating and marriage environment. I am in the military, and while racism does still exist, any overt racism is dealt with swiftly. In my workcenter, we have 5 whites, 5 blacks and 1 hispanic. 3 are in inter-racial marriages, and I think this is a direct result of the integration of our workplace.
I think later I will start an Ask the white guy married to the black woman thread.
Could you provide your definition of “racist” and “racism” as used above? Thanks.
Also, I’d bet your son is a good-looking dude. I’ve found that multi-racial people are often very attractive. My theory is that it’s god’s way of sticking it to the racists (see my definition fo “racist” upthread) (and note I don’t believe in any gods).
I think using the word “racist” is kind of harsh, but I do think people who use race as dealbreakers have not reached their peak of multi-cultural awareness.
As someone who has been attracted to different races since I was 10, I just don’t see how it is possible to reach 20, 30, 40 years and not be attracted to different races. I mean, cute is cute, regardless of skin color, hair texture, or eye shape. I think having a preference is okay, but to write off a whole race of people in your dating pool is suspicious.
No it isn’t. Being homosexual is stating a preference for the personality of your potential mate. Being a homosexual male, you can basically exclude all others but a homosexual males due to the fact that a relationship with anyone else CANNOT work, due to the definition of homosexuality. Excluding a black person because they are black says something about YOUR personality, since by knowing that they are black, you know NOTHING of their personality.
And quadrapalegics and burn victims get married all the time. To people who can look beyond the problem and see the inner person. If you can’t look beyond someone’s skin color, what does that make you?
How is homosexuality a personality preference? And as stated above, excluding someone because of their race doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is making such a decision based on stereotypes of a race or that race’s “general” personality, if there could possibly be such a thing.
Is it racism to want to be with someone that you have something in common with. You speak the same language and eat the same basic diet. Some cultures clash and it would be hard for me to date say, an Arab. Now before you all jump down my throat my best friend in HS was Saudi. Maha and Mohammad her brother had a white Mother and an Arab father. When they got divorced he took the kids to America and forbade them to speak to their Mother. They were both professors at Cairo University and fell in love. I know Maha missed her Mother but was afraid to cross her father. She wanted to date but her father would not let her date out of her race and it was a small town. When she fell in love he moved them to a different part of the state.
Personally I could not handle that. I would probably look for someone on a dating site that I had something in common with and we were culturally compatible.
No, I am saying that homosexuality is one aspect of personality that will make or break a relationship. Race is not, unless you beleive that race is part of personality.
But that is the culture that is not compatible. If you met an Arab female who was brought up in America and who did not have an Arab father who was tied to Saudi culture, would it be a deal breaker?
Or I should say, if you met an Arab girl on that dating site, and everything else was compatible, would her ethnicity be a deal breaker?
Fair point. “I’m not attracted to [race x] women” is not the same as “I wouldn’t want to be with a [race x] woman.” I don’t understand how somebody can rule out a large population in the first place but in the case of those who do…
Good Question. My friend Maha was by all means raised American and it was her father that was the problem.
If I met an Arab man that was raised in the US and could accept my faith. I would not have a problem with it. His family might have a problem with it or they may not. If his family had a problem with me then it would be a deal breaker for me.
missed your question earlier. My definition of racist is a person who thinks they can infer something about a person due to the color of their skin. Mine is a broader definition than yours. You beleive itisabout inferring inferiority. But if you infer a preference for hard-core rap, or a preference for basketball over swmming, and you make decisions based on your inference, you are being racist.
And he is a lady killer. He is in 3rd grade and has a girl from his class that calls him everyt day
